Page 6 of Christmas Miracle
Or the start of surprise that showed when John’s hand moved and strong fingers closed around his wrist and kept him from pulling away.
“Brett,” John murmured, his eyes not even open, his eyelashes, dark and thick, still spread out over his pale cheek. This close, Brett could see that John may have lost his tan, he may be paler than usual, but he still had the freckles which dusted over his cheeks like sprinkled cinnamon. Once more, Brett felt the urge to lean down and brush a series of kisses over those freckles, but he would never dare.
“Shh. It’s okay,” Brett soothed. “Go back to sleep, it’s late, and it’s snowing outside. Rest.”
“Okay,” John agreed sleepily. “Since you’re tucking me in and everything.” John released Brett’s wrist, and his skin tingled in the place where they had touched. Why did so little mean so much to him? Probably because he was in love with this man, had always been in love with this man, and had no idea how to tell him.
The best thing to do was just not to tell him, Brett knew. To love him with everything in him and keep it to himself. Not to make things awkward, which Brett seemed to do far too easily.
“I would like to do more than tuck you in. I wish …” Brett knew that John was asleep. He heard his slow, rhythmic breathing and knew that he was beyond the reach of any words that Brett might utter. “I know that it would take a miracle, but I wish that you could be mine.”
He had never uttered those words before in his life. He had only admitted them to himself. His heart thudded in his chest, but John, of course, didn’t stir. He was asleep, and too deeply for him to respond at all to Brett’s whispered confession.
Still, he didn’t quite dare to say the last words.I love you.Just in case. He thought them, though, as he finished tugging the blanket over John’s body. He loved John, but he would never risk the closest friendship that he had ever had by telling him. He loved John, but he had no hope that John could ever love him back.
Which was fine. He had told himself that so many times through the years. John was his friend, and that was worth a lot, it was worth everything, even on its own.
It was just that sometimes, he was so lonely. Sometimes, he looked down at the half-naked body on his massage table and wondered why he was always the one caring for these people, never the one being touched with even the professional attention that he showed to his clients.
A bittersweet sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at John, then abruptly turned and left. Better than trying to make a space for himself on the couch. Imagine John’s reaction if he woke up and Brett was curled up against his back? It would be a disaster.
Which didn’t mean that he didn’t think about it as he curled up in his own lonely, solitary bed.
