Page 24 of Christmas Miracle
THIRTEEN
The idea had come to Brett out of nowhere, it seemed. Maybe it was the feeling of recklessness, the incredible sense of wellbeing, that had come just from sending that text. He had done something that he hadn’t been sure that he could do, and he felt, for the moment, like he could do anything.
Even get John out of the house, because while John might think that Brett hadn’t noticed, he definitely had. John left the house only to get groceries, but John was too young to be a shut-in.
The truth was, John had helped Brett to do what he knew was the best thing to do deep down, he had given Brett the kick in the ass that he needed to get started. So there seemed to him to be absolutely no reason that he couldn’t do the same for his best friend, get him out into some fresh air.
Maybe even have some fun.
It had been years since Brett had done anything Christmas themed, years since he’d had time, and it had never seemed like there was any point in it, anyway. It was just him in the house, after all. But now, he had someone, and he might not be sure just what their relationship was, but he did know that he wanted to take care of John just as much as John, for some reason, wanted to take care of him.
Could it be that this was the miracle that he had been waiting for? Brett didn’t know, but what he did know was that he had a date. With the man he loved. And he might just get his heart broken, but he was going to take the chance, for once. Already, what they had done was way more than he ever could have dreamed of.
Which lead to them bundling up, with John grumbling good-naturedly about how he was going to freeze his ass off, how they should be smart and stay inside, preferably in bed, for the whole day.
Not that that idea didn’t appeal, because it definitely did. But it felt important to Brett that they do this, that they see if they were compatible not only in bed, which they clearly were.
Was he testing out a relationship? Was he that stupid? Yes, as it turned out, he supposed he was. And he couldn’t stop smiling about it, which made him even more stupid. Only it didn’t feel stupid, not when they walked into the park and John, as if by instinct, wrapped an arm around Brett’s waist.
“So what’s the deal with this, anyway?” John was grumpy, suspiciously so, as he looked around the park, which had been all decorated for the season. Strands of lights, both white and multicolored, were strung up all over, reflecting off of the crunchy layer of silvery snow which covered everything.
“There’s a Christmas fair. I heard about it from a client, and I didn’t think I would have time to check it out.” Brett gave John an adoring little smile. It was hard for him to admit because he had his pride, but he couldn’t deny that all of this was because John had pushed him into doing what Brett had known was right all along.
He would be at work right now, if not for John, and just for a moment, Brett let his head rest lightly against John’s chest, just a brief expression of the gratitude he was feeling. There was Christmas music playing over speakers, bells in the air, and the park, normally so ordinary and dull, looked almost like a Christmas card, with the snow and lights and the little-frozen pond.
“I still think we’d be better off in bed,” John grumbled, but Brett wasn’t fooled. He saw the light which shone in John’s eyes more brightly than in any of the strands of lights up everywhere, and he felt the strength of the arm around him. John liked it, had needed it, maybe, this injection of festive cheer, even as much as Brett had.
“We can go back to bed soon. You can warm me up,” Brett murmured. “My own personal space heater.”
“As much as you want, babe,” John replied, and they walked, arms around each other, through the light snow to the kiosks which had been set up, food and Christmas ornaments and hot chocolate.
This close to Christmas, the place was packed, and John and Brett had to step to one side or the other several times to avoid being plowed into by one of the many packs of children who were roaming about. Until the inevitable happened, and a little girl charged straight into John, a solid enough hit that he staggered and Brett had to help hold him up. That couldn’t have felt good on his back, Brett realized, looking at him with worry, but John was laughing.
“Hey, watch it there, missy,” John told the girl, who stared up at them with enormous dark eyes. But she was, evidently, reassured by the look on John’s face, by the joking tone of his voice, and she shot them both a grin and wandered off, black braids streaming behind her as she rocketed around.
“Cute kid,” John noticed, his tone so casual that Brett knew it was something he should be paying attention to. He nodded, studying John’s face, as they kept on walking together.
“Do you want kids?” he asked suddenly. It was a bit abrupt, but then John knew that Brett tended to come out with pretty personal questions when he felt comfortable. It was only after he spoke that he realized what it might sound like, given their new relationship. Certainly, the last thing that he would want was for John to feel pressured.
“I don’t know,” John said slowly, his gaze evading any direct contact with Brett’s. “I never gave it that much thought, and I guess I’m too old now.”
There was a lot to think about in that answer, and Brett frowned as they both turned and headed for the hot chocolate stand, as closely linked as they had ever been, both of them knowing what the other one wanted. The sex definitely hadn’t ruined their friendship, no matter what Brett had been worried about.
“You do want kids,” Brett said, and it was a comment, not a question. He was certain of it. John wanted that—wanted the family, the stability, the white picket fence. He just didn’t think that he could have it, but he wanted it.
“Shut up,” John told him, shifting uncomfortably, strong jaw flexing as he swallowed nervously. Brett did shut up, but he couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He wouldn’t have guessed that John would want kids. It didn’t fit with his image, and even with their long friendship, because of all of the time that John had spent away over the years, Brett didn’t always find him to be all that predictable.
With freshly-poured, steaming hot paper cups of cocoa in their hands, they wandered, companionably close to each other, down to the frozen pond. There were other people there, all of them were couples, some with young children who had to be repeatedly pulled back from stepping onto the tempting, shimmering ice which overlaid the pond.
“I guess I wouldn’t mind it,” John spoke slowly, the first time that he had said anything since he had told Brett to shut up. Brett turned to look at him, admiring the roses that the cold air had put in his best friend’s cheeks. John was so pale these days since he spent most of his time inside. It was nice to see some color there.
“Hmm?” Brett murmured, and at first, he honestly wasn’t paying that much attention to the actual content of John’s words. He was more fascinated by the way his jaw tightened, which it always did when he was deep in thought about something. The determined set of his lips, contrasting sharply with the far away, almost dreamy look in his eyes.
“Kids. Being married. The whole deal.” John glanced over at him, meeting Brett’s eyes, as they wandered slowly through the park to the little path around the pond. “I sort of think I could handle that.”
Brett felt like he was melting from the inside out, and even though John hadn’t said anything about marriage and kids that involved Brett, he still felt like there was maybe some hope. Of course, years and years of knowing, deep and sure and beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he and John could never be anything but friends, that was severely undermining that hope, but it shone there, just a slight glimmer, despite everything.
It would take a miracle. But then, a little miracle had just happened. Hadn’t it? John having those feelings at all was a sort of miracle. John telling him about it, trusting him not to laugh, that was an even bigger one.
