Page 45 of Aaron
TWENTY FOUR
The Lost Boys were back, and their tour had been, in terms of the pure numbers, an unmitigated success. None of them were going to be having any sort of financial issues for the near future, and that was something. One win among too many loses. Far, far too many.
Loses such as, for example, the fact that they had lost Aaron. What it would mean for the band, Brad had no idea. Losing Darien had been hard enough, from everything that Brad understood, though that had happened before his time. Jamie had really stepped up, but who could ever take Aaron’s place?
Speaking of Darien.
He was there, sitting and watching the auditions, as comfortable as if he belonged there all along. And maybe he did. After all, Darien was only there at all because he was keeping his boyfriend, Noah, who managed all of the social media, company, but Darien just seemed like he belonged in this room. Belonged with the other members of the band.
Thinking about it was a welcome distraction from how Brad was not looking at Aaron, who was not looking at him. They were both so carefully not looking at each other that it was almost a physical pressure between them, one that made it uncomfortable and almost impossible for Brad to focus on the hordes of unremarkable people who were gracing the stage and trying to impress them.
All of them were decent looking, Brad supposed, and some of them had talent. But none of them were the full package. None of them would hold the Lost Boys together the same way that Aaron did. Some of them could sing, others could dance, but none of them could do it all.
Man after man shuffled across the stage, and when Brad dared to look around, when he gazed at the Lost Boys, at Justin, who had his hand possessively on Ken’s shoulder, and Darien and Noah, who were holding hands as they watched, he saw the same irritated, frustrated expression on all of their faces.
What Aaron’s looked like, Brad didn’t know. He didn’t dare to look. Honestly, Brad was a little surprised that Aaron had come at all, but of course, Aaron was professional and perfectionistic, enough, that he would want to make sure that whoever replaced him was good enough.
After a half hour of horrible auditions, Lara gave Brad a look which made it very clear that she had mentally thrown up her hands, had given up on the whole thing for right now, and then she had left. Lucky her. How much trouble would Brad get into himself if he left?
Paying attention was impossible. Brad found his gaze slipping over, more and more often, to Darien. Darien, who had been incredibly popular back when he was in the band, and who had only increased that popularity by leaving when his star was still so high and bright.
Could Darien take Aaron’s place? No, of course not. Brad was starting to come to the uncomfortable revelation that no one could. But if anyone could come close, wouldn’t it be Darien, who had already worked with the band? Who could clearly get along with them all?
Brad was moving before he had even considered it on more than a surface level. This was the sort of thing that he should really be talking to Lara about before he made any offers, but it was just a conversation, right? So, without allowing himself to think about it, Brad went over and sat beside Darien, who turned to look at him with wide, surprised sky blue eyes.
As well he should, Brad supposed. They had met, but only once, and briefly. So for Brad to drop down into the seat beside Darien, that was undoubtedly a bit of a surprise for the young man.
“Do you want to come back?”
Not nearly as suave as Brad normally was, and he knew it. He should have probably made some small talk first, but the situation was pretty dire. They were finally getting to the end of the list of men who were supposed to audition today, and there hadn’t been one, not a single one, that Brad wanted to call back to see again.
“No,” Darien recovered quickly enough, and his fingers laced with Noah’s, holding his husband close to himself. “I mean, part of me would like to, but no.”
Well, there went the last little bit of hope that Brad might have allowed himself to feel. Darien wouldn’t be perfect. No one would be, other than Aaron. And Darien certainly had shown no sign of interest in a solo career, so Lara wouldn’t be fully appeased.
Still, he would have been a damn sight better than anyone else that they’d seen that day. Brad felt his shoulders slump, and something inside of him, some awareness of where Aaron was in relation to himself at any given time, told him when the other man got up and left the room.
The auditions were over, and no one had been even close to what they wanted.
“Why?” Brad asked, not out of any real thought that he might change Darien’s mind, but simply because he wanted to know. He was curious. What was Darien doing with his life that was so much better than fame and fortune?
“I only have a year more until I graduate,” Darien said, his eyes direct and unflinching. “And then a year more to get qualified to teach. And besides …” His eyes slanted over to where Noah sat at his side, smiling with a sort of fondness that made Brad’s heart lurch uncomfortably in his chest, it was so open and honest, “I just want to be married. I don’t want to be in the limelight anymore.”
“The two aren’t mutually exclusive, you know,” came Jamie’s amused voice. While Brad had been busy talking to Darien, he and Lance had walked up, apparently, and had heard at least the tail end of that conversation.
“What?” Darien asked, and Lance reached down and squeezed the young man’s shoulder, clearly deeply affectionate toward him. Damn it, if only Darien would see reason.
“Being married and being in showbiz,” Lance clarified, and Darien gave a little bit of a shrug and turned to kiss Noah on the cheek.
“It is for us.”
Jamie smiled a bit, his arm around Lance’s slender waist, his head on his husband’s shoulder, completely contented.
“Well, it works for us,” Jamie said, “But we actually needed to talk to you, Brad.”
“Now?” Lance asked, and Jamie gave him an adoring look and a nod, head tilted coquettishly to the side in a way that Brad found himself a wee bit uncomfortable with. They just so obviously wanted each other.
“Now’s the time,” Jamie said, and he beckoned Ken over from where Brad saw that he had been hanging around the edges with Justin, as always, by his side. Brad crossed his arms over his chest and looked around at all of them, his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what this was all about.
