Page 30 of Darien
THIRTEEN
Noah even knew that he was being stupid. He knew that he was jealous, and for really not enough of a reason. So what if Ken clearly had some sort of a thing for Darien? Of course he did. Darien was amazing, and why should it surprise Noah that Ken could see it, too?
It wasn’t even like they had been doing anything. Noah hadn’t walked in on them kissing or anything like that, they had just been sitting close together on the couch. Ken had been inclining toward Darien, though, his whole attention focused on him, and Noah knew that sight would haunt him.
It was hard to believe that nothing was going on, that it meant nothing, at least now. Oh, Noah had definitely gotten the impression that Ken and Darien had had some sort of a thing, but Darien wouldn’t get involved with Noah while he was still involved with Ken.
Would he?
Darien would take it more seriously than that. Then again, when had he ever seen Darien take anything seriously? That was the one issue that Noah had with Darien. The truth was, he didn’t know. He didn’t know anything and the idea of finding out sort of terrified him because he could lose everything.
So he forced himself into his work, and once he had, everything was better. He lost himself,as he focused on it to the exclusion of all else. The little bit of homework he had to do wouldn’t take him long, but he had websites to design, too. God, he had to sit down with Ken and design a website with him. That had to be just about the last thing on the planet that he felt like doing.
That was a problem for another day. He still had the band website to design, as well as finishing Darien’s. And there was still Aaron, and Lance, that he could talk to before he had to face Ken.
And then Darien was there, and Darien seemed to have no idea why Noah was upset. Was Noah crazy? Was he imagining all of this? Darien asked if it was something at school, like the idea that Noah could be concerned about Ken didn’t even occur to him.
The question was, would Noah be able to deal with any of this? Even if Darien wasn’t sleeping with Ken, and he honestly didn’t think that was happening, could Noah really be with Darien? Would Darien be able to take this relationship seriously enough?
It had been easier when he’d decided not to go there at all. Now that he’d decided to try, and Darien had, too, it made him terrified, filled with blinding, mindless fear, to think of losing Darien.
Darien wanted to talk, but if they talked, if Noah told him how he felt, Darien would retreat. He knew this somehow, on a deeply instinctive level. He knew it like he knew that the sky was blue or that iron would be attracted to magnets. Darien would run, and that was something that Noah couldn’t take.
So he acted, once more on that level of pure instinct. In some sort of desperate attempt to reclaim the energy, the passion, the desire, and, most of all, the soul deep connection, himself to Darien, he flung himself at the other man. As if in a fury, he kissed him, thrusting his tongue into Darien’s mouth like he could somehow make this work just by sheer force of will alone.
Darien kissed him back, so that was something. Noah put himself firmly on Darien’s lap, his fingers in his lover’s soft brown hair, rocking his hips, pressing his ass down against the front of Darien’s pants to try to get him hard.
This, he could do. Maybe he wasn’t sure if he could trust Darien. Maybe he had no idea if Darien could ever really give himself to Noah. Maybe this was doomed from the start, but the sex, it had been good.
Noah’s determined hands started to strip Darien. It was time to remind his lover, to remind them both, of what this could be. Why they were both trying to make it work. Clothing fell to the floor, and for once, Noah didn’t care where it landed, he didn’t even try to keep it all in the same place.
“Noah …” Darien stared to speak, but Noah wasn’t interested in hearing it. Sex. Sex had brought them together, and sex could fix everything. So he kissed Darien, pushing him back onto the bed, taking control.
The heat between them was building, too. What Noah was doing was working. His own body was responding, and as he put his hands on Darien’s shoulders and held him down, as he rubbed against him, his cock directly against the other man’s, he felt him hardening under him.
Their hips bumped together, their shared arousal rubbing, thrusting, desperate to reclaim the intimacy of the night before. In between their eager frotting, both of them were tugging off clothing, until soon enough, all that remained was the thin layer of their underwear.
Noah was leaking right through his, and he felt the warmth through the cotton of Darien’s boxer briefs and knew that Darien was right there with him. Whatever else this was, they both wanted each other, and that was surely not nothing?
Grind, grind, grind. Their bodies struggled toward each other, their lips straining, breaking apart only to meet again like they could somehow recreate the sensation of being together for the first time. There had been so much hope.
“Noah!” Darien tried to talk, and once more, Noah silenced him with a kiss. When it broke, Noah was pleased to see that Darien was gasping for breath, his cheeks flushed a beautiful, delicate pink, his lips damp and parted with his rapid breathing. “Oh God, Noah!”
There were no more attempts to speak. Not from either of them. Everything they did was done with no words, only desperate, eager sounds, their heavy breath, the whisper of the damp cotton of their underwear as they rubbed against each other, the soft, urgent little moans that they both kept letting out.
The night before, there had been lust, yes, and passion. But there had also been this emotional communication, too. This time was probably hotter, but that connection was missing somehow.
So Noah tried harder. He kissed Darien harder, he slid his hand down and tugged free Darien’s cock, gripping the slick, hot, hardened flesh in his hand and stroking along the whole length of it. Precome seeped into his palm, making his hand slide smoothly, and Darien reached for him in return, their underwear pushed aside but not even fully removed.
It was too much. It was all too much. Noah hissed softly as Darien’s fingers stroked over his aching erection, as they slid over the blunt, leaking head of Noah’s cock. With his hands clumsy with desire, Noah stroked Darien while at the same time he reached over and tugged open the bedside drawer, pulling out the condoms and the lube that he’d seen Darien use just the night before.
He was still a bit sore from that, but he didn’t care. That was utterly irrelevant. Pausing only long enough to tear the underwear from their bodies, Noah unrolled a condom over Darien’s cock, drizzled it liberally with lube, and then drove himself down onto the other man.
In some ways, in many ways, it was exactly what he needed. The kissing, the rubbing, they had worked Noah up until he had felt empty and aching inside, and Darien filled him perfectly. In this position, too, Noah could take him much deeper, gravity pulling him down until the roundness of his ass cheeks was pressed against Darien’s balls, his hips.
That spot deep inside of him, his prostate, it was still there, and Darien rubbed against it more directly than ever in this position. Nor was Noah a virgin any longer, and he could feel nuances to their frantic, grinding movements together that he hadn’t been able to when it had all been completely new and overwhelming to him.
Noah kept his hands on Darien’s shoulders, forcing him to the bed, taking his pleasure from him. Darien’s hips canted up, pushing into Noah as much as they could, but Noah had the control in this, and he found he sort of liked that.
