Page 26 of Darien
ELEVEN
The moment the words left his mouth, Noah thought that maybe he should take them back. Was he really opening himself up like that? Was he really letting this step be taken? Because it was a step, across a line which, once they’d crossed it, he somehow knew they could never back away from.
They were on the edge, and one step would take them out over the edge of the cliff. But would they be falling into something good, or into utter disaster? Noah didn’t know, and that terrified him.
He saw the same fear when he looked at Darien, and it was that which made him sure that the other man was taking this seriously, and that this meant something to him. It might not be the exact same thing that it meant to Noah, but it wasn’t nothing.
That was enough. So he lay there, chest heaving, nerves clawing at his stomach, wondering if he was going to be doing this alone. Once before, he’d put himself out there for this man, and it hadn’t gone well back then.
Darien grinned at him. Only it wasn’t his normal cheerful, careless grin. It was an expression of happiness, and there was a depth to it that Noah had never seen before.
“Okay,” he whispered, and he reached over to his bedside table, opening a drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube and a crinkly, silver foil square packet which Noah knew was a condom.
He focused just on breathing. Drawing the air deep into his lungs, letting it soothe and relax him. With all of the things that he’d done, this was a line that he’d never crossed. He’d done things in foster care with the other boys, but not this. Never this.
He would never have imagined that he could trust someone enough to let this happen. He opened his mouth, wanting to tell Darien that it was his first time, and then shut it again. He had the impression that Darien knew, anyway, and then even if he didn’t, he would be careful and make it good.
Darien nudged Noah’s legs apart, and he spread them willingly, gazing down into the mischievous, but emotional, eyes of his former best friend. Or maybe Darien was his best friend. He was also a lot more than that, and he couldn’t look away as Darien’s lips parted and his clever little tongue came out, pink and hot against the aching head of Noah’s slick cock.
As he slowly tormented Noah with his mouth, Darien’s fingers, slick with lube, slid between the cheeks of his ass and he rubbed over his tight, clenched hole. He made no attempt to push inside of him, though. Instead, he just massaged the ring of muscle, and that, along with Noah’s deliberately slow breaths, gradually had him relaxing.
“Noah, are you …” Darien hesitated, and Noah fought down panic as he nodded a little. It was still scary to admit to personal, intimate things about himself, but each time he did it, Darien was there to catch him, to not let him fall, and slowly, he found that he was coming to trust the man more and more.
“Okay,” Darien murmured. “Wow. Okay. I’ll be careful.”
That helped. Noah closed his eyes for a moment as the tip of Darien’s finger breached him, but the sensation was more strange and foreign than painful. It wasn’t even uncomfortable, not with how slowly he was going, not with how slick his finger was, and as that finger delved more deeply inside of him, spreading slick, slippery lube the whole way, Noah found himself more and more able to relax.
“Noah, look at me,” Darien whispered, and even during sex, it seemed, he was the talkative one, whereas Noah was the one who tended to get lost in his own head. Still, he did as Darien so gently requested, parting his eyelids and looking down once more into the bright blue of Darien’s sweet, loving eyes.
Loving? Yes. Once or twice already, Noah had been utterly certain that he’d seen that look of love there, that Darien had nearly said three words which Noah was, a little to his own shock, so ready to hear.
Noah pushed his feelings, his emotions, into movement. He rocked his body up, slipping onto Darien’s finger, never breaking eye contact even as he took him deep. The slight discomfort soon subsided, and it was replaced by a feeling which he found hard to describe, even to himself. Fullness, in a way that he’d never felt, but also, a sense of deep satisfaction.
And that was before Darien’s fingertip moved inside of him, until he felt that finger rub over a spot deep inside of himself which he knew of, but had never experienced directly. His prostate. Darien was massaging his prostate, and all of a sudden, nothing mattered but getting more of that stimulation.
There were no more nerves. Nothing but pleasure, radiating out from his very core, from deep inside of his body, through to his fingertips and his toes. He gasped and then cried out, noisier than he ever was, than he ever let himself be.
“Darien. Darien!” Noah barely identified the voice as being his own. He was in the grasp of something beyond pleasure, and when Darien added another finger, rubbing at his most sensitive areas with both, the slight sting of being stretched didn’t bother him in the slightest.
He could come, just from this. Just from having his prostate massaged by those knowing fingertips. When Darien leaned down and his lips slid down the shaft of Noah’s dick, that was just too much, and he found himself writhing, seeking out that pleasure against his conscious will.
What had Darien said? He hadn’t wanted to come with their hands locked around each other, no matter how good it would be. And Noah didn’t want to come in Darien’s mouth, not this time. For this, the only thing that would do would be to have Darien deep inside him, his cock reaching places his fingers couldn’t.
“No, stop. Darien, stop,” Noah insisted, and Darien pulled away, a knowing little smirk on his lips, his eyes glistening as he gazed up at Noah. His fingers stilled and then slid out of him.
“Tell me what you want,” Darien murmured, his tone light and teasing, but in a playful way. There was nothing malicious about it, though Noah wasn’t sure that he would have believed that about any other person on the planet.
“I want … I want …” Noah heard himself stammering and deliberately firmed up his voice. It wasn’t easy for him to ask for what he needed, much less what he wanted. He was used to doing everything on his own, and Darien knew that, but he still asked him.
But he asked him because they both needed to hear it, Noah realized, and that gave him the strength to go on.
“I want you,” He whispered, with his voice growing stronger with each word. “I want you inside of me, baby. I want you to fill me up.”
It was so worth it to say those words when he saw the way that they affected Darien, and he saw the way that his eyes, with the pupils wide open with lust, seemed to darken, and he saw the hint of a flush rise to Darien’s cheeks.
There had never been anything as beautiful on the planet as this man when he was aroused. Nothing could compare. Darien was his everything, and even if he didn’t say the words, he certainly felt them. He could hold them back for a while, but sooner or later, they would come out, and he was going to have to hope that Darien felt enough for him not to mock him for them.
It took Darien only a moment to tear open the foil package of the condom and then roll it down over his dick, sheathing him completely. Noah lay there, not sure about what he was supposed to do. When he saw it in porn, this act was often done with the bottom on his hands and knees. Was that what Darien was going to ask for?
