Page 28 of Touch of Innocence
THIRTEEN
The first thing that Sam became aware of was his head, which was pounding like some manic drummer was inside of his head, beating on his pain centers like it was going out of style. His mouth was dry and tasted like whiskey, and someone must have snuck in while he slept and attached cement to his arms and legs because he was pretty sure he couldn’t move.
“Sammy?” The voice that spoke his name was unmistakable, even thick with sleep as it was. There was a man in his arms, a warm, familiar man who turned to face him and gave him a sleepy, beautiful little smile as their eyes met.
“Hey, Gunner,” Sam murmured back and then frowned as he looked around. “Wait, Gunner? Where am I?”
Groaning, Sam rubbed his head, which hadn’t stopped throbbing from the moment he’d first opened his sticky, gummy eyes. What did he remember? The last thing was chatting with Gunner, and then, things got embarrassing.
Sam was a grown man, and it wasn’t fun to think that he was the sort of person who thought he needed to be taken care of. He’d been so nervous, and he’d ended up drinking far more than he usually did, spurred on by those nerves but also by the fun that he’d been having with Gunner.
Though he spent a lot of time at the bar, he mostly spent it nursing a beer or two. He pretty much never got into shots, and his body was letting him know in no uncertain terms that it didn’t approve.
Still, it really didn’t suck to wake up next to Gunner, who had taken care of him the night before. Yeah, that was a little bit humiliating, but it was actually pretty easy to get past that when he got to look into sleepy, beautiful hazel eyes and feel a strong body rest against his.
“Never mind,” Sam murmured, then leaned in and, pounding head or not, laid his lips lightly against Gunner’s. Maybe Sam wasn’t at his best, with his hair a mess and his mouth still tasting of whiskey, but he still found Gunner waiting for him, returning the pressure of Sam’s lips.
When the kiss ended, Sam allowed himself to just look at the other man. The man who had taken care of him, though he totally could have dumped Sam off with Ben, if he’d wanted to. The man who was smiling at him now, and who didn’t seem to hold any of his weakness of the night before against him.
How had he not seen immediately how perfect Gunner was? Gorgeous, yes, but there was more to him than just his looks. There was a heart in there that even the gruffest, most obnoxious exterior couldn’t cover up. Not for long, not once you spent time with him.
“What’s up?” Gunner asked, and Sam frowned. He’d been staring, hadn’t he? That had to be a bit unnerving, and it would probably freak Gunner right the hell out if he knew just what Sam had been thinking about.
Then again, maybe that would be a good thing. Scare Gunner right off, have him end this so that Sam didn’t have to.
“I was just thinking,” Sam spoke carefully, looking right into Gunner’s eyes, “That it didn’t exactly suck to wake up with you here this morning.”
For some reason, that made Gunner smile, made his eyes light up, as they lay there in each other’s arms. Sam reached out, touching the angles and planes of Gunner’s face, tracing over the skin and feeling the slight roughness of the stubble which had grown overnight.
“Oh yeah?” Gunner asked, and Sam frowned, confused by his tone. It seemed almost over the top in how casual it was, but seconds later, he forgot all about that. “So how would you feel if I decided to stay in town? Would that suck?”
For a moment, the words stubbornly refused to make any sense. Sam knew that he knew each and every single one of them, but strung together the way they were, and he was sure he must be hearing him wrong. Misunderstanding. There was no way in hell that Gunner could possibly mean what it sounded like he meant.
“…What?” Sam finally managed, and Gunner gave him a guilty little smile that fast resolved itself into a confident smirk. It was an expression that Gunner pulled on, Sam was realizing, whenever he felt like he needed to protect himself. He pulled it on like Sam pulled on an air of intellectual superiority.
Different ways of hiding, but both of them were going for the same thing.
“Never mind. I was just joking. It’s a dumb idea anyway, right?” Gunner’s voice was defensive, and a sort of wall seemed to drop behind his eyes. It sort of broke Sam’s heart to see, though he wasn’t quite sure why he cared so much.
Unless he really did want to be with this man. Give it a try. Who knows? Crazier things had worked out, and Sam’s main objection would have always been that he was straight. He was starting to think that might not exactly carry a lot of water anymore.
“It’s not a dumb idea,” Sam admitted, giving the other man a little bit of a smile. “If you stay, do you want us to …” His voice trailed off, and he just had to hope that Gunner knew what he was trying to say.
“Be together?” Gunner finished, and Sam nodded gratefully. He’d come a long way, but it was still strange to think about openly talking about being with another man. It would take some getting used to, maybe.
“Yeah. Is that what you want?” Sam asked, just a little bit cautious. He had to know what was being asked for before he could know if he wanted to give it or not, he figured. It just made sense.
“Yeah. If I stay, I’d like us to see where things go,” Gunner admitted, and Sam felt a clenching in his stomach that wasn’t painful but was intense.
“Can I think about it?” Oddly, Sam’s first reaction was to agree, to go for it, even though the only reason that he’d been okay with this at all was that it was temporary. He had known that Gunner would move on and this could all just fade into the ether, a weird thing that had happened once but which didn’t really have that much effect on his life.
It was then that he came face to face with the facts. He’d changed. He hadn’t meant to, and he would have fought against it with all of his strength if he had recognized it before, but now, it felt like it was too late. It felt like even if he tried to back away, he couldn’t do it, because he’d learned just how good it was, how irresistible Gunner was.
Still, to commit to something like a relationship? Sam’s mind whirled around dizzily with the implications. People had already seen them in public, and Sam knew that, in his drunken state, he had been all over Gunner. Still, people would forget, and probably pretty quickly.
“Yeah. Of course.” Was that a hint of disappointment in Gunner’s eyes? Sam thought so, but Gunner at least was giving him the time that he asked for and not pressuring him. Which was just one more thing that made it more tempting than ever just to close his eyes and jump off the cliff.
If he did that, could he count on Gunner to catch him? Sam had always thought when he fell, he would mean it with his whole heart. If he let himself feel what he was feeling, would Gunner return his emotions?
