Page 18 of Touch of Innocence
NINE
The easiest thing to do, as far as Sam could tell, would be for him just to try to forget that anything had ever happened. It wasn’t like he hadn’t sometimes had some weird feelings for other guys, and it had always been relatively simple for him just to push them away, forget about them, distract himself and move on with his life.
Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have things to occupy him. He’d gotten a letter in the mail, telling him that yes, he was, in fact, still welcome at Harvard. He would just need to send an email to let them know when he wanted to register again, but he was going to have to come up with the tuition if he wanted in. There was no scholarship, not for him, not after what had happened.
He had almost enough. Sort of. He was about eight grand short of what he would need for the year, and as for what would happen after that, well, he’d just have to hope to earn his scholarship back in that time. He was ready to work hard, ready to make this work if only he could pull it together.
But there wasn’t enough time to get the money. His job paid well, better than Mike really should pay him, given how much he actually did around the place, but not that well.
Frowning, Sam looked down as a dull clunk filled the work area, echoing off of the concrete. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t realize, at first, that it had been him. He’d dropped the wrench he was holding instead of putting it down on the counter, and he could hear Gunner snickering softly to himself in response.
“Earth to, Sammy,” Gunner called out, grinning like the Grade A brat that he was. Not that Sam didn’t deserve it, he had been a bit of a space cadet there, but that didn’t stop him from glaring at Gunner.
Only thing was, even a few days ago, the glare would have been a real, true, sincere, and deeply pissed off one. Now, Sam just couldn’t get the fire behind it anymore. Not since the day they’d spent together, where Gunner had saved Sam’s dog.
And the time in the shower. That was what really haunted him, made it impossible for Sam to stop thinking about him. He turned to look at Gunner, only that was a mistake, because once he looked he found that he couldn’t look away.
Nothing had changed, he tried to tell himself. Except that he couldn’t really deny that he wanted Gunner, that he wanted more from him than what they had already done.
“What?” Sam grumped, but he couldn’t even help but find it a little bit endearing, the way that Gunner kept on calling him that. It should bug him, and maybe it even did, a little, but mostly, he just liked the look in Gunner’s large, expressive, beautiful eyes when he said it.
Gunner grinned at him, head tilted slightly to the side as he looked Sam over from head to toe. Sam probably shouldn’t like the look of approval he saw nearly as much as he did, but from Gunner, it was somehow good. Welcomed.
Arousing. Why did everything about this man have to be so damn hot, anyway? It wasn’t even fair.
“Were you checking me out again?” Gunner murmured, sidling over to Sam, his eyes almost predatory as they fixed on him. “Don’t deny it. I know you look at my ass when you think I’m not paying attention.”
Sam almost choked, not at all used to being the focus of attention for anyone like this. There had been girls interested, and even men, but none of them had come on quite as strong as Gunner did. None of them had ever been so blatant in their interest.
And he couldn’t even say that he hated it. Being pursued like this, he couldn’t have any doubt at all that Gunner wanted him. When the other man got up close to him, like he was doing, when he let his beautiful body brush lightly against Sam, there was no question.
“Gunner,” Sam whispered, his fingers itching with the desire to reach out and touch the other man. But he had to resist, even if he was starting to think that it was nearly impossible for him to manage that particular feat. “Gunner, Mike could walk in any time.”
And that was something that Sam really didn’t want to deal with. It was confusing enough for him that he wanted Gunner, and he wasn’t ready to have everyone else know about it. He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready for something like that.
Just then, the door opened, and Sam panicked. He put his hands on Gunner’s shoulders and tried not to notice how strong and broad they were, how the muscles flexed under his fingertips. Instead, he pushed, hard enough to put some distance between them. This was, what, the third time he’d had to push Gunner away like this? And somehow, he had the idea that it wouldn’t be the last.
Just in time. Mike walked in, and Sam occupied himself with something on the counter. It didn’t even matter what. Just anything to avoid the older man’s eyes, which Sam suddenly thought seemed to see far too much. Would he notice the beginnings of arousal which threatened to stretch Sam’s jeans tight?
He really, really needed to start wearing coveralls.
“Your part is out of stock,” Mike said, and luckily, he didn’t even look over at Sam, who was sure that his guilt was etched in his face, in his whole body, for anyone to see. He was speaking to Gunner, and Sam snuck a look at his, well, whatever Gunner was to him, and he saw the expression of dismay on his face.
Man, Gunner just couldn’t wait to get out of here, could he? Which was, of course, a good thing, he thought. This whole strange chapter of his life could ride away on Gunner’s bike right along with the baffling, arousing man.
“Shit,” Gunner commented, and his hands were tight and tense on the hood of the car, Sam could see that even from where he was. Sam’s eyes narrowed as he gazed at Gunner.
It was more than just a desire to get out of here, wasn’t it? For what was shamefully the first time, Sam found himself wondering what this man’s story was, what had brought him to the point where he felt the urge to run all the time. Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? Running.
There was actual fear in Gunner’s eyes. Sam hadn’t noticed it before, and he had the idea that Gunner did his best to hide it, but it was there.
“Yeah,” Mike said, and Sam had to hand it to him, the man seemed to be genuinely worried about the situation. He had a good heart, even if he did seem to do his best to try to hide it as much as possible. People with good hearts, Sam had noticed, tended to get taken advantage of. “It’ll be a couple of weeks until I can get it. I’m sorry.”
Gunner nodded, turning around to lift the hood of the engine that he was working on. But he didn’t start working on it, and his shoulders, the set of his arms and neck, spoke of a tension that Sam was pretty sure Gunner was trying not to show.
“It’s worse. I was looking at the bike, and there’s more work that needs to be done,” Gunner said, his voice low and tight and came out haltingly, like he was speaking through gritted teeth. “I’ll level with you, man, I don’t have the money to deal with any of the stuff that needs to be dealt with.”
“I know.” Mike did what Sam wished that he could do, even if the urge was an odd one. He went over to Gunner and put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, showing empathy but not in an over the top way that would embarrass anyone. “That’s why I’ve got a proposal for you.”
