Page 61 of A Lady Most Wayward
‘No.’
‘Absolutely not.’
Philippa’s eyes flashed. ‘You cannot join me. Olivia, you must know it’s impossible for you to be part of this meeting and Callum, you would only be in the way.’
The young man reddened at such an insult, but he remained silent as Philippa stared at him.
Philippa was right, but Olivia hated the idea of her love meeting with her brother alone. The man was diabolical. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing her daughter, but nor could she imagine life without Philippa. No longer was she thinking about escaping the continent when they rescued Hyacinth. How could she possibly leave the one woman whom she could no longer deny held her heart?
‘Will you at least promise to meet with him in a public place? He is mad, but not enough to risk hurting you in front of witnesses.’
Philippa nodded her assent. ‘I will send a response immediately. Trust me, Olivia. I won’t say anything that might put Hyacinth at risk. I swear it.’
Olivia wasn’t sure she could maintain her composure. If she could not confront her brother, she knew Philippa was the best alternative. She trusted her with all of her heart, including the piece belonging to Hyacinth. This was hardly the time to declare her undying love for the duchess, but she certainly wished she could.
First, they needed to plan a response to her brother that wouldn’t send him into a rage. Once they were assured Hyacinth was safe and Cedric no longer posed a threat to them, or any other person, then she would take Philippa’s hand, press a kiss to the palm, and convince the stubborn woman to open her heart and her life to Olivia.
Save my daughter, catch the Crow, win a duchess, and live happily ever after. What could be simpler?
A great many things. Like finding the cure for smallpox. Discovering the mysteries of the cosmos. Understanding why it was currently fashionable to look like one was dying of consumption. Olivia took a long sip of her tea and marvelled at how whiskey really did make a remarkable improvement to the drink.
After drafting and sending a reply to Cedric, it was decided they would invite the entire group of Damsels, their spouses, and Reading to yet another dinner to update them and determine how best to move forward with their plans.
Olivia volunteered to inform Stokes of the dinner party and while the man pressed his lips together in a tight line, he kept any remarks to himself in Olivia’s presence.
It would have been a wonderful evening of fine food, fabulous company, witty conversation, and stimulating company if Olivia had been able to focus on anything other than rescuing Hyacinth. But she reminded herself they were one step closer to getting her back.
And then what? How can I possibly entertain ideas of a life with Philippa? What might that even look like? Sapphic love might not be illegal, but it is certainly not allowed in polite society… or any other kind of society.
But there were ways if two women wanted to live together. Countless spinsters shared a home and much more with a female companion. Passionate friendships amongst ladies in the beau monde were more than just encouraged. It was an ideal of femininity. Women’s gentle, loving nature demonstrated in the affection they showed their female friends. Men found the whole thing rather endearing, and of course, there was nothing sexual in the love a woman might feel for another woman, so it was completely harmless.
Olivia almost choked on her wine as she reflected on exactly how unsexual her love for Philippa had been in the ballroom. Society was full of idiots. Although these beliefs made it possible for women to hide love affairs in plain sight. It was much more difficult for men, and the consequences more severe. They could face prison or even death. Yet still, a concerned father, husband, or brother could commit any woman into an asylum for immoral acts. Neither Philippa nor Olivia had any men to worry about controlling them, but the beau monde was its own kind of keeper for women with their pedigree. She shook her head. Humans had the capacity for such cruelty toward each other for no reason other than a need to control. Which brought her thoughts right back to her brother.
‘What was your response to his letter?’ Millie asked Philippa, pausing to lick a spot of chocolate from her fork and capturing her husband’s attention without even noticing.
Philippa glanced at Olivia before responding. ‘I invited him to join me at Twinings for tea tomorrow afternoon.’
‘I doubt they make tea the way you prefer it.’ Hannah sent Philippa a sly smile before continuing. ‘Choosing a public location was wise. Perhaps Killian and I should join you.’
‘We are free tomorrow afternoon.’ Penny looked to Liam, who nodded his agreement.
‘As are we,’ Ivy agreed. ‘We’ve sent the children to Edward’s country house until this mess is sorted out, so we have nothing but time.’ She smiled at her husband. The handsome Commissioner winked at her from across the table.
‘Drake, we have no plans, do we? I would love a cup of tea at Twinings.’ The voluptuous redhead revealed her dimples and a gleam of adventure in her gaze.
‘Nothing would please me more.’ Drake’s rough voice softened as he returned his wife’s smile, the expression far more fearsome on his scarred face. ‘Hardgrave needs to understand he doesn’t just threaten Olivia. If he wishes to wage war, we are happy to oblige him.’
Olivia shook her head. While the show of solidarity was more than she could have hoped for, alarm bells rang in her head, drowning out the flow of voices.
‘No!’ She was too loud, too panicked, but they needed to understand how dangerous her brother could be when he didn’t get what he wanted. ‘Such a show of force would reveal too much of our hand. If he feels threatened, he will react… poorly. People will be hurt. You must understand, he is relentless in his pursuits.’ She pushed aside a particularly bad memory when she once tried to stand up to her brother as a child. Her hand still carried the scar from the candle he held over it until her screams alerted the governess.
Philippa sat at the head of the table. She had placed Olivia to her right. Shifting in her chair, she reached across the space separating them, taking Olivia’s hand in her own and squeezing gently. All conversation immediately ceased.
Olivia felt the tension tighten as Philippa stiffened, realising what she’d done. She withdrew her hand, and something cracked in Olivia’s chest. Perhaps it was the fragile bubble of hope that had been growing there. Hope that there might be a future for her with the woman she loved. But it was an impossible dream if Philippa couldn’t even hold Olivia’s hand in front of her closest friends.
Olivia knew Philippa was attracted to her. That was clear in the time they had spent in each other’s arms. It was obvious every time Philippa’s eyes darkened with need when Olivia walked into the room, or how her breath quickened as Olivia pressed a kiss to her warm skin. But attraction was easy. Devotion was hard. Commitment, respect, dedication. Those emotions took strength and valour to sustain. And while Olivia did not doubt Philippa’s power in battle, she wasn’t convinced the duchess would ever have the courage to fight for love again.
Pushing down the hurt, she embraced anger instead.
