Page 56 of The Confessions of a Lady
She stood as well, prompting Millie and Ivy to rise. ‘I wish you the best of luck in finding these men. But I cannot help you. I’m sorry.’ It was the truth. To join Millicent, Ivy and Hannah, share a camaraderie with such courageous, fearsome ladies, would be a dream. But she was just as far from their sphere as she was from Liam’s. She had her own path to walk, and it was one she must walk alone. ‘Allow me to show you out.’
Leading them to the entryway, she asked a footman to retrieve their coats.
‘Are you sure you won’t reconsider?’ Hannah kept her hands in her pockets.
Penny shook her head. ‘If my circumstances were different, I might. But I am just a maid, Your Grace. Hardly able to stand with ladies such as yourselves.’
Ivy smiled and shook her head. ‘Oh, I don’t know, Miss Smith. I think you might be surprised how similar we are when it comes down to what matters. Heart. Courage. Honour.’ Herwords echoed Liam’s from the night before and Penny shifted uncomfortably.
Before she could reply, the footman returned and the ladies donned their coats. He opened the door and Hannah and Ivy descended to the waiting carriage, but Millie lingered.
‘You’re up to something, Penny. I know it. If you ever need any help, I’m here. I don’t care if you are a maid or a marchioness; you will always be my friend.’
Penny’s ears grew warm, and she knew a blush stained her cheeks. ‘I shall never be a marchioness, Millicent.’
‘You don’t know that. Hannah was a ward before she became a duchess. I was going to be married to a mouldering man older than my father before I convinced Drake to compromise and then marry me. Never underestimate the power of a determined woman to alter her stars, Penny.’
Penny smiled despite herself. Even thinking of becoming a marchioness, Liam’s marchioness, was madness. But it was a lovely fantasy. ‘I don’t deserve a friend like you, Millicent.’
‘You deserve far more than you know. You just need to be bold enough to claim it. We only live once. We might as well fight for what we want.’ Millicent pressed a kiss against Penny’s cheek before rushing down the stairs after her friends.
Fight for what I want. But what do I want? A marquess who might be guilty of horrendous crimes? A haven for my mother at the cost of Liam’s freedom? A life free from scrubbing floors and serving tarts I’m never allowed to taste?
‘Miss Smith.’ Coggins stormed over the marble floor, stopping next to her. ‘You may go.’ He coldly dismissed the footman without even looking at him. The liveried man clenched his jaw, nodded, then walked away.
‘Yes, Mr Coggins?’
‘What in the devil were those women doing here, wanting to speak with you?’ He leaned closer to her, the words hissing from his mouth.
‘Lady Drake was enquiring as to my happiness here, sir.’
Coggins eyes narrowed. He didn’t believe her. Which was fair. She wasn’t telling him the whole truth. ‘You are lying. An earl’s wife doesn’t care about someone as insignificant as you.’ He snatched her wrist, pulling her close enough for her to see the blood vessels snaking across the whites of his eyes. ‘You’re up to something. And when I find out, I will make sure you never work in service again.’ Coggins and Millicent delivered a similar message in very incongruent ways.
Penny pulled free of his grip. ‘I would be careful who you threaten, Mr Coggins. I’ve faced far more terrifying enemies than you and won.’
She spun and walked to the sitting room where her work waited. His malevolent stare burned into her back every step she took.
14
Mrs Harding found Penny during the servants’ supper hour in the scullery. The small room was crowded with wooden crates of glasses brought up from storage. Coggins had been true to his word, denying her dinner. Instead, she was to polish every single glass. He threatened to garnish her wages if he found a single smudge. An impossible thing to control when so many hands would be touching the glasses before they made their way on silver trays to the lords and ladies at the masque. But Penny wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of defeating her. Instead, she polished away her dinner hour, imagining thick slices of bread slathered in butter, dripping pieces of chicken fresh from the roasting pan, apple pie covered in clotted cream. It didn’t stop her stomach from growling, but it kept her mind busy while completing such a mindless task.
‘Coggins told me you had visitors.’ Mrs Harding’s grey hair was pulled into a tight bun. Her pristine apron, whiter than a virgin’s virtue, glowed in the dim light.
‘I did.’ She had no wish to explain Millicent’s visit to the housekeeper. Mrs Harding would likely find Penny’s guests as suspicious as Mr Coggins.
‘Funny, the connection that can develop between a servant and her employer.’ Mrs Harding pressed her lips together in a hard line. ‘I knew a maid who once fell in love with her employer, if you can imagine that. I was only five years into service at the time. We shared a room not much bigger than yours, though ours was always wet and stinking of mould.’
Penny scrunched her nose.
‘Yes, exactly. I warned the girl not to get swept away. He was the first son of a viscount, set to inherit his father’s title, money, lands. Everything. He would never defy his family and risk losing all of it just to marry the scullery maid. More likely, she would carry the boy’s bastard, lose her job, be forced to give up her child or her livelihood. Perhaps both.’
Penny focused on rubbing the glass with a soft cloth, her gaze fixed on the goblet. ‘It certainly happens to many girls not wise with their choices. I hope she heeded your advice.’
Mrs Harding gave a small, nearly silent laugh. ‘She did not. And as it turns out, I was wrong. He did run off with her. For a time, his father denied the lad his inheritance. They rented rooms in the village, and he tried his hand at brewing beer. She fell pregnant. Maybe that’s what changed the old viscount’s heart, or perhaps it was his declining health. He called them back before his death, gave the young man everything. Last I heard, they were happily living in his country estate, three children, and he still brews beer. She got it all, Penny. Love, children, wealth. All because she was willing to defy the expectations of her peers and reach for the stars. People are funny. Just when you think you understand them, they can surprise you.’
Penny risked looking up from her glass. Mrs Harding stared at her intently, her face a careful mask of neutrality. She really was an exemplary housekeeper. Keeping her thoughts and feelings hidden from everyone. ‘You received a message.’ Shehanded Penny a folded note. Without another word, she turned and left Penny to her polishing.
Penny recognised the hand that scrawled her name. She tucked the missive into her apron, picking up a new glass. No one enquired about the oddity of an illiterate woman receiving mail because the staff weren’t aware she couldn’t read. Although, with the new tutor set to arrive the following week, some people might soon discover her ignorance. But when she opened the paper, this note didn’t have a confusing mix of letters strewn over the cream surface. Instead, it had a clock. Both hands pointed to twelve. Constable Sweet wanted to meet with her. At midnight.
