Page 51 of Happily Ever After
‘Arggh!’ I vocalised my utter frustration into the musty air of the library, making the cat leap from beneath the desk and flee to hide behind the sofa. Then I took a deep breath, feeling slightly better for having shaken paint flakes from the ceiling and made the one loose panel bounce on the wall. ‘All right. I’ve got a week. Think rationally and think properly.’
A few seconds later, the library door was cautiously opened. ‘Andi? Are you all right? I thought I heard – I mean, the library is a long way from our wing, but there was a noise?’
Hugo came in looking worried, presumably in case I’d fallen from the top of the library steps and was currently crumpled in a bloody heap on the floor.
‘Sorry, Hugo. I…’ I thought fast. ‘I caught my finger. It hurt and Imayhave sworn a bit loudly.’
‘Oh.’ His face cleared with relief. ‘You haven’t forgotten tonight? We’ve got a date with the Yellow Room and a bottle of wine?’
‘Mmmm,’ I said, in vague agreement. I hadn’t forgotten but I’d been hoping he had. Every time I looked at Hugo I found myself thinkingshould I tell him? I should tell him, shouldn’t I? Give him the diaries.Then I’d worry about not only Lady Tanith’s reaction, but Hugo’s reaction to Lady Tanith’s reaction, Hugo’s thoughts about being lied to all these years, his worries about how to deal with his mother – I suppressed the urge to bang my head again. If he knew about her upbringing and her background he’d never, ever leave. I knew Hugo now and his sense of duty and affection would mean he would be stapled to her side until she died, all thoughts of an independent life of any kind gone.
‘Only I haven’t opened the new one yet. I thought I’d wait until you were there and we could look at it together?’ There was such suppressed excitement in his voice, an anticipation of a treat, that I knew I couldn’t say anything.
‘Is that the Doris Day one?’
My remembering encouraged him. ‘Yes! I wasn’t sure you remembered. Yes, I won that one at auction, much cheaper than I thought so I’m not sure it’s genuine now. But I want to look it over, I mean, if it’s beautiful anyway does the history matter so much?’
‘Not if you love it.’ I smiled at him. His sheer joy was infectious. I hoped his mother’s madness wasn’t similarly catching. ‘I’ll be there. What time?’
‘About nine? I’ve got some work to do before then. And once it’s dark it will be more spectacular. If we put that little lamp in the middle of the floor, all the sequins show up so much better!’
‘That sounds great.’
There was a pause. Hugo was walking around, pretending to look at the titles on the books at the top of the stacks piled around the walls. I felt my stomach leap. Did he know? Had he seen or heard something?
‘You and Jay…’ he started, carefully not looking at me. ‘I saw you come back with him this morning?’
‘Yes.’ It was all I could say.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was up at the balcony window. I’d been to the bathroom and I happened to glance out and you…’
‘Yes,’ I said again.
Hugo’s face turned to me, wearing a resigned kind of frown. ‘Ah. I had hoped, you and I… I know it’s not perfect and you struggle with the dresses and everything, but I thought maybe I could… only at weekends, or something?’
Poor Hugo. Oswald and Lady Tanith shuffled over in my heart to make room for a moment’s pity for Hugo too.
‘I’m going to learn landscape gardening. When Jay leaves here I’ll go with him,’ I said.
‘Ah.’
‘He and I are…’ I tailed off. It was far too soon to put words to what Jay and I were to one another.
‘I see. I had hoped…’
‘No, Hugo. We’ve had this conversation. I’m sorry. I can’t marry you, lovely as you are.’ I smiled. Hopefully my tone conveyed everything I thought and felt more gently than words could ever do. ‘There will be someone out there for you.’
‘I never meet anyone though.’ He came and perched on the edge of my desk, half an eye on the screen. ‘I’m stuck here. Nobody comes, and there’s not much time to travel. Plus, you know, Mother. No sign of me being able to get away until I can sell up.’
I shook my head and patted his hand. ‘I know. I can’t really help you there. Maybe, when I leave, the person who comes to do the rest of this job might be more suitable?’
Hugo brightened unflatteringly fast and I realised that he didn’t wantme, he just wantedsomeone. ‘True, true,’ he said. ‘By the way, what onearthdid you have shoved down your front when you and Jay came back? You looked as though you were carrying half the contents of the library!’
Shock made my throat feel as though it bounced down into my stomach for a second and my brain froze in utter horror. Then I remembered Jay’s kitchen. ‘Just some gardening books that Jay has lent me,’ I said, proud of the smoothness of my voice. ‘I didn’t want them to get wet, so I tucked them inside my top. Some of them are quite valuable, you know.’
‘Oh, right.’ Hugo stood up again. ‘Right. So, tonight, nine o’clock? I don’t want to mention it over dinner, if Mother is there, just in case. She already knows we’re meeting, from last night, and I don’t want her to get her hopes up any further.’
‘See you later.’ I turned back to the computer screen and pretended to type diligently, until I heard him leave, closing the door quietly behind him. Then I stopped, swivelled around in my chair, and saw The Master, eyeballing me silently from the depths of the gloom under the velvet couch. ‘Don’t you bloody start.’
