Page 30 of The Price of Love
‘He’s . . . yes, he’s fantastic. Totally gorgeous. I mean, he probably wouldn’t do it for you. He’s nothing like Ash, after all. But he’s got a great body. Not that I’m commenting on Ash’s body, you understand. I mean, yuk, but—’
‘What do you mean, “he’s nothing like Ash”?’
‘Well, he isn’t. Ash is kind of gawky and angular while Luke is—’
‘Yes, I get that. But what I meant was, why would I want to compare him to Ash, for God’s sake?’ Cal uncovered his face and sat up to look at me.
‘Because I know you gay guys usually go for a type, that’s all.’ I sat up, too, although it made my head swim a bit.
‘Hang on.I’mgay? When did that happen?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘If Iweregay, I think I might have noticed, don’t you? I mean, there’s all that business with the buying the right clothes, hanging round the right bars, the attitude and, oh God, I don’t think I’ve got thetimeto be gay, let alone the inclination.’
‘But you have to be gay!’ We were practically forehead to forehead now. ‘You and Ash, you were . . . Can you do that if you’re not gay?’ He really did have the most remarkable eyes, very brown, with lashes so dark they looked like the reeds on the ponds of the netherworld.
‘Well, this is a bit weird.’ Cal wasn’t moving back either, his eyes flickering as they took in my face. ‘Did Ash tell you that I was gay?’
‘Well, no. But he — I mean, why would he want me to meet you?’
Cal shook his head slightly. ‘You’ve done it too, haven’t you? Pigeonholed your brother? Gay men can have straight friends too, you know, Willow. You really thought I was gay?’ He didn’t wait for me to reply, maybe my answer was written all over my face. ‘Look.’ His fingers cupped my chin and curled up onto my cheek. ‘If I was gay, then I wouldn’t want to do this, would I?’ The gentlest kiss fell on the side of my mouth. Instinctively, like a baby searching out food, I turned towards it and felt his lips fasten onto mine for one brief, thunderclap moment.
In the next second he was flat on the grass again, arm blocking the sun, leaving me half-crouched and breathless, wondering whether the whole thing had been an alcohol illusion. ‘You’renot gay,’ I said wonderingly.
‘Nope.’
‘Shit.’
‘Sorry.’
‘No, I meant . . .’ And before I had time to move, I was voluminously, copiously, dramatically sick all over his shirt, his jeans. I think I even managed to fill his pocket and get it in his hair. It was truly the most impressive of vomits. To his credit he didn’t pull away or act shocked. He simply waited for the retching to stop, then sat up and offered me a handkerchief.
‘Here. Do you want a drink of water or something?’
‘Please.’ The tiny voice was all I could manage, forced over the broken glass of embarrassment.
‘Ash did tell me that you had a bit of a problem with your stomach.’ Cal handed me a chilled bottle of mineral water and I used it to rinse my mouth, although I really wanted to pour it over him and eliminate the chunks of recycled picnic which clung to his clothes. ‘Have you ever tried getting help?’
‘The doctors told me it was just stress and I’d grow out of it. They couldn’t explain why it only happens when I meet a man I . . .’Oops.
‘A man you . . . ?’
‘I quite like.’ I busied myself blowing my nose and sluicing my face with water from the stream. Anything but meet his eye. ‘It was fine while you were gay.’
‘Again, I wasn’tactuallygay, it’s not like a hobby, you know.’
‘Do you think there’s any chance the water will be hot yet?’ I felt a complete idiot. And yes, Cal was right, I had pigeonholed Ash, but then, experience had had a hand in that. He’d never introduced me to any straight, good-looking men before.
Cal glanced down at himself, dripping regurgitation. ‘Oh, I hope so,’ he said fervently. ‘If not, I’m prepared to get in the river. Hey.’ I’d turned away, horrified and ashamed of myself, hiding the tears of mortification in the handkerchief. ‘It’s not your fault. Don’t worry. I’m not soluble, you know.’
My voice was muffled. ‘I justhateit, that’s all. Why can’t I be normal?’
Cal gave his lame leg the briefest glance. ‘Normal isn’t everything. Anyway if you were normal, I wouldn’t like you. Come on. I’ll let you have first dibs on the bath, but don’t piss in the water, okay?’
I gave a coughing laugh. ‘Okay.’ We’d got to the house before I summoned enough courage to ask the pressing question. ‘Cal, back there, why did you kiss me?’
‘Felt like it. Problem?’
