Page 31 of Beneath Her Hands
“I understand,” Jane said and lowered her eyes. “You take whatever you need. I know I want something with you, but what that looks like or how it all plays out, I have no idea, and for some reason, I’m okay with it. For once in my life, not knowing what lies ahead of me is… exciting.” Jane surprised herself with the admission, she hadn’t even admitted it to herself before now.
Rosalind smiled in surprise. “I guess that is something I can’t quite understand. With the military, I never knew where I would be by the next day. Everything was sort of up in the air, and with you I don’t want that. I want this. I want the five-year plan, I want the thirty-year mortgage.”
“Really?” Jane said and furrowed her brows. That was the opposite of what she had been expecting.
“No,” Rosalind said with a chuckle, and Jane almost sighed with relief. “That sounds awful, but not nearly as awful as if you’d asked me a month ago. But, not knowing if I will be able to see you again tomorrow, that’s… that’s just…”
“I get it,” Jane said, though her heart was still singing in her chest. This was the closest Rosalind had come to admitting that she wanted a relationship with her. “It’s fine, we can take our time.”
“Thank you,” Rosalind said and grabbed a towel, heading for the showers.
Jane stood there for a moment staring after her; her chest felt like it was about to burst. She had thought Rosalind was lying toherself, trying to say that there was nothing between them, but she had been afraid that Rosalind would never be able to admit it, that she would hold on to the lie to make herself feel safe. The knowledge that Rosalind felt the same about her was enough to send her flying. So much so that Jane made an impulsive decision. She grabbed a towel and headed into the showers.
Shift change wasn’t for another couple of hours, so they were alone in the locker rooms, and it was simple enough to figure out which stall Rosalind was in. Jane quickly stripped off her clothes and pulled open the curtain stepping quickly inside. Rosalind turned, her hands in her hair dripping with suds, and her eyes went wide. Jane didn’t even give her a chance to think, she wrapped her arms around her and kissed her deeply, pressing her naked body against Rosalind’s while the hot water flowed over them. Rosalind responded with her soapy hands flying to Jane’s face and kissing her back. Jane ran her hands over Rosalind’s wet body, tracing her curves and muscles as she kissed her. The water made it difficult to breathe as she swirled her tongue around Rosalind’s, deepening the kiss. Jane slipped her hands down Rosalind’s back, cupping her ass and digging her fingers into Rosalind’s firm flesh.
Jane’s skin felt like it was on fire, sizzling beneath the spraying water. Rosalind’s hands touched everywhere, spending time on her breasts, her nipples, the tiny pinches sending electric shocks through her core. Jane pushed her against the shower wall and pushed her legs open. She began to quickly stroke Rosalind’s clit, moving in quick circles and forcing her to gasp. Heat pooled in her core, and she wanted more than anything to feel Rosalind’s touch there, to stoke the flames burning inside her. Jane pushed two fingers inside Rosalind and kissed her neck, and when Rosalind’s hand slipped between her legs, she opened herself for her. Rosalind hooked her arm beneath Jane’s knee and lifted it into the air, sliding her handdown between her legs. Jane rolled her hips as Rosalind’s fingers plunged into her, fighting to keep her own thrusting pace in Rosalind. Jane could feel her climax rising in her core, her walls tightening around Rosalind’s fingers.
Suddenly, Jane heard giggling outside their shower stall, and she started to pull away, but Rosalind spun her around and pushed her against the wall, driving her fingers in deeper and adding a third. Jane gasped in pleasure, forgetting about the snickers coming from outside of their tiny world and the orgasm crashed over her. She tried to hold her breath to keep from crying out, but Rosalind just pounded harder, eliciting moans from her lips and swallowing them with kisses. Jane began to pump her fingers into Rosalind fervently as Rosalind grunted in pleasure, spilling her own moans into Jane’s mouth. Waves of pleasure scorched through only getting higher and hotter as Rosalind approached her own climax, her walls tightening around Jane’s fingers as she thrust harder.
Rosalind cried out and Jane kissed her to muffle them and pulled Rosalind close keeping her rhythm and drawing out her orgasm. Finally, they began to settle, both panting and shaking. Jane couldn’t hear anything else in the room, so she figured the intruders had left.
“Maybe next time we do this in one of our more private showers,” Jane chuckled.
“You don’t find this exciting?” Rosalind lifted an eyebrow.
“Very,” Jane admitted, heat rushing through her again. “You’re a bit of an exhibitionist, aren’t you?”
“I’m finding that I might be,” Rosalind joked then leaned back into the water.
Jane grabbed the soap and cloth and began to scrub at Rosalind’s body, tracing the cloth and her fingertips over each of the lines of muscle. The scars seemed to soften beneath the water, and Rosalind relaxed into her touch. After a while, whenRosalind felt clean, she took the cloth from Jane and repeated the process, touching and exploring each part of Jane’s body. The act brought a sense of intimacy that even the best orgasm couldn’t produce. They were completely comfortable in giving each other comfort. It only seemed to solidify their bond.
Finally, they turned the water off, drying and putting on fresh scrubs, though they still shared lingering touches and soft glances. Jane couldn’t believe how easily she could fall into a comfortable rhythm with Jane; it was almost as though they’d known each other all their lives. A warmth spread through her at the realization. Something both similar to, and completely different from, the heat she felt when Rosalind kissed her or touched her. This was something bigger than she could describe; something she’d never felt before.
“Do you want to come back to my place and get some sleep?” Jane asked tentatively.
“I shouldn’t,” Rosalind said, and Jane fought to keep the disappointment from her face.
“Okay,” Jane said, her voice tight. She knew Rosalind could see through her like she was glass. Still, she’d promised to give Rosalind her space and she would honor it.
“I need to stay here anyway; my mother could need me at any moment.”
Jane grimaced. She’d completely forgotten about Rosalind’s father and what her family was going through. Guilt washed over her, but she kept it out of her expression. “Of course,” she said and put a hand on Rosalind’s shoulder. “Call me if you need to.”
Rosalind nodded but wouldn’t meet her eyes. Jane pressed her lips. Rosalind was pulling away again. Jane fought against her frustration; she knew Rosalind needed time and she was going to give it to her.
“I’ll see you later then,” Jane said and forced herself to walk away. She turned back and glanced at Rosalind, but hereyes were downcast. She was exhausted and needed rest. Jane continued walking out of the locker rooms. She went first to her office. She still had a mountain of paperwork to file for the day they’d had and patients to check up on, including Rosalind’s father. Her eyes were burning by the time she left the office and made her way through the corridors. The patients were recovering nicely, though the first one she and Rosalind had operated on was still struggling. There was nothing Jane could do at this point, though. It would be up to her to make it through the night and give her body time to recover. The burn ward was filled with painful moans; it was hard to walk by them. Jane adjusted the medication accordingly and made sure they were comfortable enough to get some rest.
The checks were quick and simple, most of them were sleeping this early in the morning. Even Rosalind’s mother was asleep on the cot that had been provided. Her final patient, the last reconstruction, was finally coming out of the anesthesia. Jane stopped long enough to have a conversation with her. Her wife was sitting next to the bed holding the hand with the least amount of burns. Their faces were drawn, and the wife looked tired, she probably hadn’t slept a wink. Jane asked how she was feeling, and the woman admitted she was in pain but didn’t want more medication for it. Eventually, Jane asked if she wanted a cot brought in so that the wife could get some sleep. The woman graciously accepted, and it warmed Jane’s heart to see her standing by her wife, especially knowing how hard the road ahead would be. By the time she left the room, they were both sleeping again.
Finally, she decided to head home. The short walk was refreshing, though Jane’s eyes burned with exhaustion. The air was cool and the streets were empty, allowing her to spin out in her thoughts. Each step was heavy, and more often than not, her mind turned to Rosalind. She knew it was going to be difficultto give Rosalind the space she needed, but as strongly as she felt for her, she was willing to do it. She admitted to herself that Rosalind was worth waiting for, and part of the reason for that was the fact that Rosalind had no expectation of her. She didn’t expect Jane to just wait around, or to fight for her, or any of that. Rosalind made her better, in every sense of the word. She gave her confidence and strength, but it wasn’t as simple as that. Jane knew that even if Rosalind left tomorrow, she would be better just for having known her.
Jane thought back to their earlier conversation about whether or not she would travel. It looked like Dr. Mars was on to something, as usual. Jane scoffed at the thought, but she knew that she needed to start making arrangements. Regardless of what Rosalind decided, Jane knew she wouldn’t be able to stay here any longer; she had so much she wanted to do. The strength to take that leap had been buried within her all this time, but now she knew where to find it.
She arrived at her apartment and looked around when she entered. It was her space, but it wasn’t permanent, and she came to the realization that nothing ever was. She headed to the bedroom and took off her scrubs. Pulling a huge t-shirt over her shoulders she laid down in her bed, enjoying the soft blankets around her. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
15
Rosalind
