Page 80 of A Cozy Kind of Christmas
“Yeah.” His voice was soft and heavy with emotion. He leaned close. So close their noses nearly brushed. Everything else in the room faded away. It was like they were the only people on the planet.
Just him.
Just her.
Just like it had been.
“Because of you, Meg,” he whispered. “Seeing you, being with you again, it reminded me how brave you are and for once I want to be that brave, too.”
She swallowed. Her mouth suddenly felt like sandpaper. “I’m not brave. I’m a train wreck most of the time.”
Matt let out a little laugh, tipping his head back before returning his gaze to her. “Yeah, right.”
“No, really.” She blinked as she stared up at him. “It’s true. I’m not brave. I know you said it in your letter, which thank you for that by the way, but it wasn’t brave of me to ghost you. I was scared, and I felt like it was the only solution to try to forget about you, but I’m an idiot.”
He studied her like he was trying to cement every feature on her face in his head. “No, that’s different.”
Their hands brushed.
It was just a graze, but it was enough to send her head spinning.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or lean in and kiss him.
Maybe both.
She had to get this out—to finish it—now.
It was the only way forward for her, for them.
“It’s not, though.” She shook her head, gaining steam. She had to get this out, to say all the things she’d held in for years. “It’s not brave. I’ve been hiding. Hiding from myself and from you. I thought I was handling it and being mature, but now I realize I’ve wasted so much time. Even working at ESPN, sure,it’s been great, and it’s let me travel and do some pretty cool things, but it’s not my dream, Matt. It’s not writing what I want to write, so don’t give me credit.”
“But I do.” He gently swept a strand of hair from her face. “You are remarkable, Mary Margaret Reed, absolutely remarkable, and I’m a fool for not telling you that sooner.”
“You are, too.” Meg couldn’t breathe. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. The only thing she wanted was Matt. “What about Lucinda, though?”
“What about her?”
“Aren’t you together?” Meg asked, timidly, not wanting to hear the answer if she was misreading the heat between them.
“No, not anymore.” Matt shook his head. “We broke up last night. She was great about it. I wish that could have gone differently, but she’s a bit drunk and sort of forced the issue—unintentionally.” He paused briefly, glancing in Lucinda’s direction. “It’s the right thing for both of us. We’ve been drifting apart for a while. Even though we’ve spent so much time together, it’s become clear that our point of connection is the company. I think she’s been feeling the pressure of it, too. It’s like we’re both married to Blazen. I mean, hell, even my birthday, all of this.” He paused and swept his arm around the room. “Matt’s thirtieth birthday, ‘brought to you by Blazen’; it’s a joke. This entire party and the whole weekend is basically an ad for the company. It’s not really about what I wanted. I would have been great to chill at a pub and get a couple of pints with my friends. I never wanted a big party or any of this.”
Meg thought back—he’d said that from the beginning.
“Lucinda knew I wasn’t sold on the promotion and needed time to rethink. I’ve been clear about that with her for a while. I think she wanted it to happen, though—and then she had too much to drink and tried to push it through. I need to talk to her—I would never have wanted to cause her or her dad anyembarrassment. They’ve been great to me, but I had to catch you first.”
Meg released an internal sigh.
“Megs, I’ve been in love with you since college when we met in the lecture hall, and you begged a stick of gum off me.”
“I seem to recall you graciously offering me a stick of gum,” Meg bantered with a flirty wink.
“Semantics. But let me say this before I lose my nerve. You’ve always been fearless, trekking up mountains, running through mud pits, venturing into deep dark caves and places you have no business being.”
“Hey.” Meg punched him, pretending to be hurt.
“The intrepid adventurer whose idea of sports prior to taking a job forNorthwest Extremewas a full day of coffee tasting around the city.”
“Yeah, okay, fine, I’ll drink to that.”
