Page 62 of Finding Love at the Magical Curiosity Shop
My stomach is churning and my hands are shaking because I feel so bad about this. ‘I’m sorry, Ava. I’m so sorry.’
‘I hate you! You’re the worst!’ It stings even harder than usual because of the number of times she’s told me I’m the best, and the distance between us feels like it’s several miles wide and expanding by the second. I don’t know how she’s ever going to get over this, and there’s nothing I can do to make it better.
Ava’s breath is gasping, rasping, and hitching every time she inhales and her pink T-shirt is soaked with the tears dripping down onto it, and I see the moment she looks around and realises people are staring at us, and again, I desperately want to hug her.
‘Why don’t we go and get a chocolate milkshake and take a breather from all of this?’ Ren sounds like he’s balancing on a knife edge and has no idea what to do either.
‘No! I hate you! I hate both of you!’
‘Ava!’ Ren bellows, but she’s already turned around and stormed off down the steps. He goes to run after her, but he turns back to me, looking torn, and throws his hands up and makes a noise of frustration. ‘I’m so sorry, I’ve got to…’
He points in the direction that Ava went, but Lissa stops him.
‘Let me go. I’m more neutral, and you two need a minute.’ She grabs a photocopied page and rips it off the foam boards behind us and dashes after Ava. ‘And look, we still have some parts of the diary. All is not lost.’
Ren swears and kicks at the gravel under our feet. ‘Sorry about that, she was out of line to say all that and to cause such a scene.’
‘No harm done. She’s upset and hurting. Lissa’s amazing with kids, and she’s not involved in this like we are. It’ll be okay.’ I don’t believe my own words – a feeling that’s further intensified when I reach out to take his hand and he yanks it back and stomps away, gravel crunching under his boots.
‘No harm done?’ He repeats my words in a nauseating tone. ‘Do you honestly think that any of us have come out of this summer unscathed?’
‘The diary was never ours to keep…’ I start, feeling knocked off balance by both his tone and the pinched look on his face. He seems to be getting at something much deeper than the diary, and he looks like he’s aged ten years in the last five minutes. ‘You agreed. You knew she should have had it back too.’
‘Yes, but it’s not about that. It’s about Ava needing to feel like she comes first – like she matters.’
‘Of course she matters. I tried my best to defuse that situation, but what was I supposed to do – tell Pamela she couldn’t have her family heirloom back because Ava wanted it more?’
‘I don’t know.’ He pushes a hand through his hair, sounding more desperate than frustrated now. ‘It’s not just about that, Mickey. It’s about everything. Everything that’s happened these past six weeks. Everything that shouldn’t have happened.’
He paces for a minute and I can see his anger building, and I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of dread that this is all about to come crashing down. ‘Youshouldhave made it clear from the outset that someone might come back to claim it one day, not “given” it to her and let her think it was hers forever.’
‘You could have made it clear too! It wasn’t all my doing.’
‘I’m not the expert on curiosities and reuniting owners with their lost treasure.’
‘No, but youarethe father obsessed with micro-managing your daughter’s expectations. You weregladto see her enjoying something – neither of us thought through the possible outcomes. No one everreallythinks that someone’s going to turn up and claim something back. My dad reunited, like, three objects in thirty years. It’s not a regular occurrence.’
‘Yeah, well, you had no right to leteitherof us believe in bloody fairy stories and magical nonsense.’
‘What?’ I raise both eyebrows because he’s not just talking about the diary. He’s loosened up so much this summer – I never expected to hear him say something so cutting when Iknowhe’s enjoyed every moment too.
The gravel crunches under his feet as he continues pacing. ‘There’s a reason I don’t get involved with anyone, and this is it. People are reckless, spontaneous, and never think through the consequences of their actions – everything that I am not. Because, guess what, youcan’tbe like that when you’re responsible for a child. When you’ve got someone who looks up to you, you have to be a role model, not a bloody mermaid!’
‘Or you can show her that it’s possible to be both. Everyone can still be a well-rounded adult while saving space for a touch of whimsy in their lives. The last thing anyone should be showinganychild is that there is such a thing as too old to believe in magic, or that there is something wrong with beingbothsensible and level-headed and fun and whimsical!’
His hands swing out as he turns around and paces in the other direction. ‘Ava didn’t need any more trauma in her life, and now this thing that’s brought her so much joy has ripped her heart out – exactly what I was trying to prevent happening, I just thought it was going to be when we found out the writer wasn’t really a mermaid or the sailor had died, I didn’t foresee it being likethis.’
‘What was I supposed to do, Ren?’ I ask again, defiantly, because that was a no-win situation and I have no idea how I could have handled it differently.
‘I don’t know. But I do know this was a mistake. I got so tangled up with you that I let myself make it anyway, even though I knew it would end in tears. Or a bloody great hormonal meltdown, in this case. What we need to do is forgetallof this and go back to how things were before we met you.’
‘You don’t mean that.’ Tears I was fighting to hold back spill out of my eyes, and he hesitates, and for half a second I think he’s going to throw his arms around me and tell me that he doesn’t, of course he doesn’t.
He shakes his head, but it’s a gesture of resignation, not a rebuttal of those words. ‘Yes, Mick, I do. Ihaveto. Because I have a daughter who needs me to put her first, and I should never have forgotten that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and undo some of the damage this summer has caused!’
As he marches down the steps and back into the castle grounds, Cleo races up them and pulls me into a hug. ‘Oh, that waspainful. I’m so sorry, I thought he was “the one”.’
‘So did I,’ I mumble, trying and failing to fight the tears that are running down my face.
