Page 54 of Finding Love at the Magical Curiosity Shop
‘I feel like there should be a crab singing “Kiss the Girl” and fish spurting water all around us,’ Ren murmurs.
It makes me giggle, although unlike Ariel and Eric, I don’t think a gang of musically inclined sea creatures are going to be encouragingusto kiss each other.
‘I feel like we’re walking in a blue lagoon. This is so beautiful.’
‘You always say that.’
He squeezes my hand again. ‘Maybe it’s the person rather than the place.’
I make retching noises to cover how unbalanced those words make me feel, and he laughs, but quickly turns serious again. ‘Maybe it’s the feeling rather than the surroundings. We could be at the bottom of a stagnant well and it would still be a great night out with you.’
Butterflies fill every inch of my body in an instant, and my heart starts pitter-pattering, despite the fact that the bottom of a stagnant well wouldreallynot be a great night out.
‘What are you getting at, Ren?’ My voice is shaky because Iwanthim to mean what I think he means, but at the same time, I’m sure hecan’t.
‘I don’t know. You’ve always said I’m too blunt, and there it is, bluntly. I don’t know, but Idoknow this is something special and I’mterrifiedof it ending.’
‘Why should it end?’ I swing our joined hands between us, trying to shake loose the words he doesn’t seem able to say.
‘Because I don’t know how I’m going to keep getting my Mickey fix every day when school starts again. Summers are great. Summers are easy. I don’t have to go to work every day. I don’t have to spend half the evening marking and lesson planning and the other half trying to corral Ava into doing her maths homework, but the rest of the time, I start school at eight o’clock, if not earlier. I have to drag Ava in with me and sheloatheshanging around until her friends get in. Some nights, I have to work overtime and she has to wait for me, which she alsoloathes. It doesn’t leave us much time for coming to Ever After Street, and I don’t know how only seeing you at weekends is going to be enough for either of us.’
‘Ava could always come to me after school. Hang out in the shop for a while rather than waiting for you. I’ve got an excuse to see you when you pick her up then. I’m a bit rusty at maths homework, but I could give it a go. And we could have dinner together then or something. I don’t want to let this go either. You’ve lit up my life in a way that’s made me realise what was missing, and how much I’ve shut people out and replaced them with made-up stories behind unwanted objects. Just seeing you at weekends isn’t enough for me either.’
He uses his grip on my hand to tug me to a halt, and pushes his other hand through his hair, looking out to the ocean like he’s searching for the right words. ‘All right, I said that wrong just now. It’s not that I’m scared of it ending – what I’m really terrified of is itnotbecoming more.’
I let out a breath and I can feel my face break into the biggest grin as he continues.
‘I’m not listening for the sound of mermaids singing now – I’ve been hearing mermaids sing since the moment I walked into your shop.’
I reach up and tuck his hair back and brush my fingers across his forehead. ‘The bang to the head from the Victorian birdcage wasn’t that hard.’
His laugh is a slightly unhinged cackle thatreallyshows me how nervous he is. ‘Do you have any idea how much I’ve laughed this summer? I can’t remember the last time I laughed like I do with you, but you make everything feel easier and more fun. You make me feel different, and at the same time, you make me feel like I don’t need tobedifferent, and?—’
‘Youdon’tneed to be different. You were never the problem. We all understand that relationships end, but parenthood never does. Anyone who can walk out on a childisthe problem. But in a way, she did the best thing she could possibly have done – because she freed you. She gave you the freedom to find someone who’s a better fit, someone who loves you exactly as you are and doesn’twantyou to be any different. And Ava too.’
‘Ava won’t find another mother.’
‘I’d venture that no mother at all is better than one who strings her along, plays with her emotions, and never puts her first. Having a mother who makes you feel so unimportant is arguably more harmful. Feeling like an inconvenience is worse than being alone. And now Ava gets to have a relationship with you that she otherwise wouldn’t have had, and she gets to feelreallove from a parent rather than tiptoeing around one who doesn’t want to be there.’
He doesn’t hide the emotions that cross his face. His eyes close and he shakes his head and then blinks them open again, and reaches up to stroke his fingers through my hair. ‘Andthatattitude is why I’ve fallen for you so hard. From day one, you’ve taken me out of my own head and given me a different perspective, and I never want tonothave that perspective in my life again, and the biggest disservice I could do to you, Ava,andmyself, is to not open my heart and beg you to come in, with your fairytales and your belief in magic and your bright hair that lights up every room, and?—’
I push myself up onto tiptoes and cut him off by pressing my lips against his, and he stumbles backwards and makes a noise of surprise, and then returns the kiss. It’s just a peck, but one of his hands is still holding mine and his fingers tighten so much that broken bones might be on the cards, and I pull him closer, stroke through his hair, andlovethe little shiver that runs through him, and the one he sends up my spine when his other hand settles on my back and his fingertips press into my skin.
Even though it’s just a peck, we’re both breathing hard when we pull back, and his forehead drops to rest against mine. He lets out ahugesigh of relief. ‘You feel it too.’
‘Of course I do.’ My fingers curl into his shoulder where my arm is still around him, trying to make sure that hefeelshow much he’s reminded me of all the good things in the world.
‘For the record, next time you can tell I’m overthinking something, feel free to stop me in exactly the same way.’
I laugh and lean up to press my lips to his cheek, exactly like I did that night on the riverbank, and his hands settle on my hips to hold me close, and his forehead rests against mine as another shuddery breath leaves him.
‘Ariel rescued Eric from drowning, and so did you. I’ve been trying to hold it together on my own for so many years, and that first hug in the café started unravelling something inside of me, and I feel like you’re the only person who’s ever seen past my walls and realised that I wasn’t holding it together at all.’
I think of that guy who came into my shop the first time. It didn’t seem like hecouldhide it. The only thing that would have made it more obvious is if he’d had a Post-it note stuck to his forehead saying ‘I’m barely holding it together’, but somehow, somewhere, heletme see that and unintentionally letting someone in when he was so closed off has chased away some old ghosts.
‘Maybe you are some kind of ethereal sea creature because you’ve bewitched me. From the moment I met you, all I wanted to do was see you again. Every day we spent time together, all I wanted was to spendmoretime together. I get excited at the thought of seeing you. That night on the riverbank aside, I’ve been feeling the same way around you every time we’re together – completely and utterly intoxicated. You soothe something inside me, the part of my soul that’s so broken. You cover all the sharp edges with warm and soft glue and stick them back together again.’
I pull back until I can look up into his eyes and cup his face, letting my thumb brush against his cheek. ‘All right, how much have you had to drink?’
