Page 21 of Christmas Ever After
‘Sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I mean, I’m… glad of a break? The pressure of the shop is…’ He looks over at me and then shakes his head, like he’s giving up the front. ‘It’s sucking the life out of me. I’m sure that makes you very happy to hear.’
‘No, it doesn’t.’ Guilt shoots through me because surely I’m a part of that? If anything has increased pressure on Raff, it’smyconstant complaints about his shop. And I’ve judged him too. Raff’s always charming, always flashing his Disney prince smile. At Ever After Street meetings, he laughs off bad reviews and makes quips and jokes whenever anyone tries to talk to him about his shop. I thought he was self-centred and careless, but it had never occurred to me that it might be a front to cover something much deeper.
Instead, I like the feeling of his upper arm pressing against my upper arm, the scent of his aftershave mixing with the scent of freshly sawn wood filling the workshop, and I really, really like not being alone. ‘I’m glad you’re here.’
‘Me too.’ He nudges his shoulder against mine, taking so much care because he’s sitting against my right arm, and that soft, gentle, considerate touch makes me chew on my lip.
What a strange week. I’ve gone from thinking Raff Dardenne was the worst person in the world to wishing I’d not held ontomy grudge so tightly and got to know him sooner. It suddenly seems horrendously unfair that if I survive this month, he will be evicted, and if he isn’t, then I will be. If only time travel was a thing and I could turn back the clock and undo all of this.
7
‘Nice hat.’ I can’t help smiling when Raff comes in the next morning with a Santa hat on.
‘I just got it from All You Need Is Gloves.’ He grins. ‘Itisthe most wonderful time of the year, after all.’
I push myself up from where I was leaning on the counter and lift my splint at him. ‘I was just standing here wishing December away. At least I’d be halfway through my sentence in this torture device then.’
‘Ohnoooo.’ He drags the word out. ‘Nothing could make me wish December away. The saddest time of year is Boxing Day onwards because Christmas is over and it’s so long until the next one.’
‘Some of us think it’s the most stressful time of the year.’
‘It’s the most magical time!’
‘The most miserable time?’ I try in an upbeat tone of voice, and then sing to the tune of the famous song. ‘It’s the most com-mer-cial time of the yeeeeear.’
He shakes his head, causing the bobble on his Santa hat to swing around. ‘Surely it’s illegal to utter words like that on Christmas Ever After, which is why I got you one of these.’ Fromhis bag, he produces another Santa hat and leans over to plop it on my head. ‘I know you were wearing one the other day but I don’t know what happened to it. Mrs Coombe said it had disappeared.’
The back of my neck goes instantly hot at the thought of the other day. To think Jorge thought the Santa hat was the most embarrassing thing that was going to happen that morning. My Santa hat probably shrivelled up and crawled away in embarrassment, like I wish I could have. ‘Mrs Coombe was just saying that to make a sale.’
He shrugs. ‘I don’t mind. It’s my personal mission to support any shop with such a good pun in its name.’
I can’t help smiling at the cheerful smile on his face. ‘How can you be so positive?’
‘How can you work on a Christmas-themed street and not love Christmas?’
‘Idolove Christmas.’ I adjust the Santa hat, determined to keep it on all day just to prove him wrong, and the bell in the bobble jingles defiantly.
He raises an eyebrow. Raff’s eyebrows can say a lot without a word being spoken.
‘Iusedto love Christmas,’ I relent and decide to answer him honestly. He’s got such deep, understanding eyes and it feels like they can see straight through me. ‘But these days, it’s nothing but stress, work and navigating family politics, which translates as finding believable excuses to avoid my family at all costs. Funnily enough, they don’t believe you if you say you can’t make it for Christmas because you’re hopping aboard the Space Shuttle and going on a festive tour of Jupiter’s moons.’
‘Family’s the best thing about Christmas. Everyone getting together, playing games, watching movies, eating too much.’
‘Not everyone has that, Raff.’
‘No, they don’t.’ He blinks in surprise. ‘No, you’re right, I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have a close family. I didn’t mean to…’ He trails off without finishing the sentence, and then changes tack. ‘Christmas is the time of year to remember what we’ve forgotten and feel like a kid again. You’re never closer to your younger self than you are at Christmas. The years melt away and it’s okay to be young and silly and believe in magic again.’
‘What if you never believed in magic in the first place?’
‘I’d say it’s never too late to start.’
I don’t think he even gets the cheesy upbeatness of the things he says, but it’s impossible not to smile in response. A lot of men are macho and Grinchy about Christmas. Most of my customers are women with grouchy husbands hanging back, huffing in annoyance, checking their watches or keeping track of the football scores on their phones, as though showing an interest in Christmas would have the same effect on their manlihood as giving away half a testicle.
It’s nice to see someone embrace the season and be a big kid. I always used to wear festive headbands, Christmas jumpers and Santa hats, but in recent years, I’ve found that I can’t be bothered. What does Christmas bring with it these days other than more hours in front of the lathe, more harried customers, and more opportunities for my parents to make me feel bad about myself? As a ballet dancer, they were proud of me. As an overweight nutcracker-maker, Christmas is an occasion for both of them to analyse my life choices. It doesn’t make it easy to get into the festive spirit. Last Sunday was the first time I’d dug out my Santa hat in ages. ‘Thank you for this.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He grins. ‘Sounds like you’re suffering with a case of missing Christmas spirit, and do you know what the cure for that is?’
I tilt my head to the side and make a face at him, certain he’s about to enlighten me.
