Page 44 of Christmas Ever After
He drops his arm from around me and nudges one of the hot chocolates towards me instead. ‘Here. Guaranteed to make any stressful afternoon better.’
The steaming cup does look tempting. The whipped cream is drizzled with chocolate sauce and has a Chocolate Orange segment sticking out the top. Itwouldimprove the afternoon, but it would do nothing to change the fact that Raff is faking enchanted snow globes and fudging soulmates, and knowing exactlyhowmakes it worse somehow. I suddenly want to put some space between me and these traitorous snow globes because the more time I spend here, the more likely I am to blurt it out, and that feels like a can of worms that’s best left unopened.
‘Nah, I shouldn’t. I should go.’ I gesture towards the door and nod decisively. ‘I’m going to go.’
A flash of hurt crosses his face and he blinks in surprise. ‘Oh, don’t, not yet. I’ve only just got back. Please stay. At least drink this with me?’
He sounds so genuine, and like he really wants me to stay, and it’s nice to feel that. And he did buy me a gorgeous-looking hot chocolate, and I’m firmly of the belief that there’s rarely a reasonable excuse to turn down hot chocolate.
I thank him instead and pull one of the cups over to me and take a sip through the straw. ‘Was the delivery okay?’
‘She was thrilled. Her only comment was that if they weren’t so expensive, she’d have bought another six… Which would’ve made for a really disturbing Christmas for her family. I lovenutcrackers, butsixgiant nutcrackers watching on while you scoff your turkey…’ He does a comedy shudder.
I don’t feel like laughing, but his humour cuts through my defences, and I can’t help giggling, even though I own a shop full of nutcrackers and don’t mind them looking at me while I work. ‘Be careful of insulting nutcrackers, you know the ones with swords can go on murderous rampages if the mood catches them right.’
He laughs at the throwback to the day we met. Is it wrong to call it the day we met? Technically, I’d known him for ages, but he was right that day – itwasthe first time we’d really met, and I liked that he recognised that.
And now things are awkward between us. I’ve never had tomakeconversation with Raff before, but today, I have no idea what to say. If he looks at me with those dark, questioning eyes, he’s going to know Iknow.
I take another sip of hot chocolate and look around the shop, but the sheer number of snow globes is unfathomable. ‘Did you really make all of these?’
‘Not all of them. Some are my granddad’s. He enjoyed matching couples up, but first and foremost, he was a snow globe maker. I guess all of his ones will sell eventually and be replaced by mine, and…’ He trails off but, but not quickly enough to hide the emotion in his voice.
I know his grandfather meant a lot to him, and I could push and prod, but it doesn’t seem like the right moment. ‘Do you have a favourite?’
Instead of answering, he gets his keys out and comes behind the counter to open a locked display case. He carefully takes a snow globe from it and goes to hand it to me, but I put both my hands up and take a step backwards. It’s going to be a while before I have the courage to pick up a snow globe again, especially one that’s special to Raff.
He shakes it and sets it down on the counter, and comes to stand next to me, leaning on his elbows to watch the snow fall inside the glass.
It’s a perfect little village scene. A cobblestone street with brightly coloured shops, people outside, and a carousel… ‘Wait, it’s Ever After Street, isn’t it?’
He nods without taking his eyes off it. ‘He was intending to make one for every shopkeeper who works here. This was the prototype. It was unfinished when he died, and I completed it. The last one we’ll ever work on together, in a roundabout way. I put it on display in case customers recognise it, but it’s not for sale.’
The tiny people are carrying shopping bags, and the shopfronts are painted in colours that match each shop’s theme – a pastel blue for The Cinderella Shop, yellow and royal blue for A Tale As Old As Time, pink for Rapunzel’s hair salon, green for The Mermaid’s Treasure Trove… I nudge my arm against his. ‘That’s so special. And so thoughtful.’
I don’t often say nice things about Claude Dardenne. He’s been a villain in my mind for years and it’s hard to reframe that, but it doesn’t feel right to say anything unkind in this moment. ‘You’ve never told me what happened to him…’
‘He died.’ Raff’s eyes flick up to mine and he lets out a sigh. ‘We didn’t expect him to die. I know that sounds weird because he was ninety-four, but he was fit and healthy. He still went to work every day, even though the whole family told him he didn’t have to. He had some old-age medical niggles, but nothing serious. Then there were some anomalies in a routine test, he had more tests, and with waiting for appointments and then results… by the time they came back with a diagnosis, he’d deteriorated so much that there was nothing anyone could do. People think cancer is a long goodbye, but it was sofast. Less than five weeks and he was gone.’
‘I’m so sorry, Raff.’ I reach out so I can squeeze his fingers with my good hand.
‘My father died when I was really young – under two. Erin was five, so she remembers him a little, but I don’t. My gran and granddad stepped up to help our mum. They bought the house next door and moved across the county to be there for us. He’s the only father figure I’ve ever known. I wascaptivatedby his snow globes. Getting to do what he did was all I ever wanted…’ He shakes the snow globe up again, and then puts it back in the display case, and picks up another one from a nearby shelf. This one is a more traditional scene of a park in wintertime, with tiny models of families skating on an ice rink, others sitting around a fountain, and streetlamps that actually light up when he presses a button on the base.
‘Have you ever done anything else?’ I ask as I watch the snow falling on the idealistic little scene.
He shakes his head. ‘Never wanted to. I love snow globes and the sense of wonder they bring. They’re a perfect escape. You can watch the snow falling and imagine who lives in this perfect little scene and what their lives are like. Nothing exists outside of this. It’s a snapshot of an ideal life that most people can only dream of. A world within a world – a perfect world inside the not-perfect real world. You can lose yourself for a few moments while looking into a snow globe. What other Christmas decoration gives you that?’
It’s not a question that needs an answer. His passion for what he does shines through in every conversation. He shakes the snow globe again and I find myself gazing into the park scene, wishing that real life was that picture-perfect, and trying not to think of his arm pressed against mine.
‘Why nutcrackers?’ he murmurs, making me realise the snow settled in the globe long ago and I’ve been staring at it, lost in thought.
I blink a few times and glance at him and then look away. ‘I’ve loved the story since I was little. We had one at home, it was about four-foot tall and I thought I was going to marry it one day. When it came out every December, I would give it a kiss on the cheek every night before bed, convinced it would turn into a handsome prince during the night and whisk me away from all the fighting.’
‘It didn’t?’
‘Funnily enough, no. Magic isn’t real.’ I give him a pointed look, but the significance of it goes completely over his head. ‘He was a friend when I needed one most. I couldn’t tell anyone at school what was happening at home, but that nutcracker was there with me. Every December, he stood and observed it all. He understood what no one else could. When I was a teenager, he got thrown out and I was happy to see the back of him – he was a reminder of all the childhood disappointments and dreams that weren’t real, but then, as an adult, I kept thinking about him. A lot of my so-called ballet friends lost interest in me when my usefulness to them was gone, and I kept thinking of that childhood friend who wasalwaysthere, and I wanted to do that for other people. Nutcrackers are said to bring good luck and keep danger away from the homes they’re in, which was something I wished for when I felt so vulnerable. I couldn’t walk. I was hobbling around on crutches, but I struggled with them and used a walking frame, which was incredibly humiliating to accept at thirty-three. It felt like theonlything I could still do was sit at my grandfather’s lathe, and I decided to try to re-make the friend I’d lost.’
My left hand is next to him on the counter, and he wraps both hands around it and pulls it to his mouth. ‘That’s the loveliest thing I’ve ever heard.’ His lips move against my skin and his cleanshaven jaw rubs the side of my hand, making me feel even more overheated than I was feeling anyway. ‘I’m sorry foreverything derogatory I’ve ever said about your shop. I wish I’d got to know you sooner and understood you better.’
