Page 61 of An Enchanted Moment on Ever After Street
‘Because you’ve always wanted to waltz around a ballroom with Belle?’
‘Not with Belle, but definitely withyou. And not always, but in the past six weeks, I’ve thought of very little else.’
I’ve never felt so special to anyone before. How is it possible that someone I’ve never trulyseencan make me feel so cherished?
‘I know you think I was lying when I saidBeauty and the Beastis my favourite book, but I wasn’t. When I was in hospital, there was this kid in there, and part of his recovery was that his nurse used to take him round to read to the other patients. Not usually something I’d put up with, but I was on strong painkillers and I suppose I gave some kind of hazy consent, and every so often, this kid would come and sit by the bed and read a story, completely unfazed by whatever state his listeners were in, and one day he was readingBeauty and the Beast, andsomething more exciting happened down the other end of the ward and he dropped the book and ran off, his nurse chasing after him, and no one ever came back for it. I guess the staff on the next shift assumed it was mine, and it stayed on my bedside table, and one day, when the swelling around my right eye had started to go down and I was getting some vision back, I picked it up and got totally swept away in the story. The old-fashioned language, the sense of a different time, a world away from our own, and the Beast… the idea that one day someone could learn to see past the hideousness and fall in love with him… It spoke to something inside me. It gave me hope, which was something I hadn’t felt in months. When I left, I took it with me, and I’ve still got it on a bookshelf in the flat.’
‘So, what you’re saying is… you stole a book from a hospital.’
‘I told you, I’m a monster.’ At least he’s laughing as he says it this time. ‘And when I realised what I’d done, I sent them a new copy and a voucher for many more new books, because I’m notthatmuch of a monster.’
It makes me laugh and I pull back until I can look up into the Beast’s glass eyes again.
‘Thank you for making me feel that hope again, Marnie. Getting to know you has been like giving water to a dying rose. I thought I was dead inside, that I’d never have the capacity for love again, and then I heard you wailing like an elephant seal in labour…’ He holds his arm out for me to smack and I dutifully do, even though I can’t stop smiling. ‘…and everything changed.’
My hand has stayed on his forearm and I give it a squeeze through his suit jacket sleeve.
‘From day one, you’ve treated me like a normal person. You’ve never tried to catch me out. You’ve never disrespected my boundaries. You’ve made me feel like I fit in. You’ve reminded me of what it’s like to be a part of the world and you’ve made mewantthat again…’
I slip both arms around him, one around his waist, one around his shoulders, until I’m hugging him as tightly as I can.
‘For the past seven years, since the moment this happened, I’ve never met a person who didn’t try to change me. Who didn’t tell me I was wrong to back out of life the way I have.’ His voice is muffled where the chin of the mask is pressed against my shoulder. ‘Doctors, nurses, ex-friends, distant family, complete strangers… Not one person has ever accepted my way of coping. Every single person has made me feel wrong. Unacceptable. Like someone who needs “sorting out”. But you… you accepted me as I am. Why did you never try to fix me?’
‘Because you’re not broken.’
I can feel the words hit him. It’s like they knock him off his feet. His legs go wobbly and my arms around him are not just hugging him but holding him upright.
‘No one’s ever said that before.’ I can hear the emotion in his voice and that protective instinct kicks in again, the one that makes me want to hold him tight and snarl at anyone who dares to say an unkind word.
While keeping my arms around him, I pull back until I can look up into his eyes again. ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you love in such horrific circumstances, and to be injured so badly and to live with scars and ongoing pain, and none of us have any right to judge anyone on how they handle it. You don’t need fixing. You have never needed fixing. If the attitudes of other people need fixing then that’s their problem. The one and only thing you need is to let someone love you – to accept you’re worthy of love and realise that having scars doesn’t make you an un-beautiful person.’
‘And what then? You think that will be the moment that the Beast transforms back into a prince? My scars won’t be magically healed when the last petal falls from a rose, doom lifts from the castle, and the homeware takes on human form.’
‘Good. Because, firstly, that would be quite strange,’ I say to lighten the atmosphere. ‘And secondly, because the Beast’s defining moment isn’t when he becomes human again – it’s when he’s got Gaston by the neck and is holding him out over the edge of the castle, seconds away from letting him drop to his death, and he pulls him back because in that moment,herealises that despite appearances, heisn’ta beast. He never needed to learn to love Belle – he needed to learn to love himself.’
‘Do you know how clichéd that is?’
‘It’s also true.To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.’ I quote Oscar Wilde and give him a stern look. ‘Because this isn’t about how you look. It’s about the anger and guilt that you carry with you. You don’t hide away because of your scars but because of the feelings that it might bring up if anyone asks about them. It’s never too late to forgive yourself.’
‘You make me wish it wasn’t.’ He pulls back and his paw glove reaches out to stroke my face, one plastic claw running down my cheek with the gentlest touch. ‘You have no idea how much I want to kiss you.’
The words are so quiet that I don’t think he intended to say them, and it makes goosebumps rise across my whole body. I swallowhard. ‘That would be okay.’
It would be alotmore than that. ‘Okay’ doesn’t begin to cover it, but it sounds slightly more civilised than saying, ‘I want to wrestle you to the floor, jump on top of you, and kiss you until your mind has melted so much that you can’t eventhinkthe word beast.’
‘I can’t…’ Even as he says it, his hand slides down my arm and he intertwines our fingers. He looks up, looking around the room, the low light, the ever-present rain beating against the roof, the quiet music in the background, and he tugs my hand gently, leading me across to the stairs he came down earlier. Hesits on the third stair and pulls his legs up, turning his thighs into a flat surface and inviting me to sit on his lap.
I perch gingerly on his thighs. The huge skirt of this dress doesn’t make it easy to squash up against someone. His arm goes across my lower back and curls around my hip on the other side, holding me steady. He’s facing front and I’m sitting sideways and facing the empty ballroom in front of me.
His hands are shaking and his breath is coming in sharp pants. ‘Will you just… close your eyes and don’t turn around?’
I nod and let my eyes slip closed, and cover his hand on my hip with mine, barely daring to breathe as I realise what he’s going to do. He pushes out a long, shuddery breath, and his arm rests against my back as, painstakingly slowly, he removes the mask.
Every instinct in my body is screaming at me to turn around and look at him, but he asked me to do one thing, andthatis more important than sheer nosiness.
Time passes so slowly that it feels likehoursgo by, even though it’s only a matter of moments, and then he’s there. His nose touches the side of my face. Soft lips press against my cheek.
Just one kiss, one peck that I can’t respond to without turning around and going against what he asked me. My fingers are between his where his hand is still on my hip, and I squeeze them with the sides of mine, trying to get across how much it means that he trusts methismuch.
