Page 54 of An Enchanted Moment on Ever After Street
‘He hasn’t told you?’ she says in disbelief.
‘No. Not a word.’ I glance at his shop too. ‘Why on earth would he order me a dress?’
‘His email said it was for the costume ball at the book festival – a custom-made yellow Belle gown, no expense spared.’
Everyone deserves to wear a dress like that at least once in their lives. I remember saying it to him weeks ago when I was talking about my love forBeauty and the Beast, and I can’t believe that he even remembered, never mind thought about getting Sadie to make me a real-life Belle dress. I’ve alwayswondered what it would be like to have a dress made for me, but could never dream of spending that amount of money on something I’d wear once, if that.
‘You okay?’
I don’t realise I’ve frozen, open-mouthed, and am staring at Darcy’s shop until Sadie touches my arm to get my attention.
‘Yeah, I just…Whywould he do that?’
‘Maybe he likes you.’
‘I know he’s let me get closer than anyone else, butlike? Inthatway? Darcy isn’t… he doesn’t… I mean, whether he does or doesn’t, what kind of relationship could wereallyhave? It’s okay for a friendship, but I don’t know if he’ll ever let me get close enough for it to be something more.’
‘Is that what you want?’
‘I like him, Sadie. Really like him.’ I didn’t intend to tell her, but everyone watched her and Witt fall in love in the spring, and I know she’ll understand. ‘I can’t wait to see him every day. I miss him when I’m not talking to him. Everywhere I am, I’m thinking about him. I feel this sense of comfort just knowing he’s on the other side of the wall. I get butterflies when I’m with him. With Rick, I was always self-conscious and uptight, scared of doing the wrong thing or saying something I shouldn’t, but Darcy makes me feel like Iamgood enough just as I am…’
I sigh because it seems hopeless. I know I’m feeling things for Darcy, but how can you love someone who won’tlethimself be loved?
‘Never mind, ignore me.’ I think about the dress again. I don’t know what to do about it. How can I accept such a generous gift?
‘He’s already paid a deposit.’ Sadie can either read minds or my face gives away exactly what I’m thinking. ‘It would be unfair to turn down a grand gesture with so much thought behind it.’
‘But that fancy-dress night is for everyone else, not for me. I’ll be too busy organising everything. It never crossed my mind that I would dress up. I intend to be in the background where no one can see me.’
‘In the dress I’ve got in mind, you’ll be centre stage.’
‘Sounds like my worst nightmare,’ I mutter, even though the thought of wearing one of Sadie’s handmade dresses is really a dream.
‘Oh come on, you told me ages ago how much you longed to have aBeauty and the Beastmoment in a yellow ballgown…’
‘I know, but…’ I struggle to put into words what I’m trying to say.
A grand, expensive gesture is lovely, but what Ireallywant from Darcy is something that would cost nothing at all – enough trust to unwind his scarf and let me see him. A hug that doesn’t end with him pushing me away. I’ve always dreamed of a ballroom scene, but not because of the scene itself, because of what it represents – Belle falling in love and the Beast learning to accept that love.
16
After persuading me that a ballgown really is a good idea, Sadie grabbed her kit from The Cinderella Shop and came into the bookshop, where she measured me, drew pattern pieces and pinned them around me, and sketched out what will be the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen in my life. Since she left, the rest of the day has been spent confirming times and topics for the author talks and desperately trying to remember if I’ve forgotten anything and trying to foresee any possible disasters that might strike between now and the weekend, selling a few more tickets, talking books with eager customers, and counting down the hours until Darcy is coming over to fill my empty flower borders with the bags of spring bulbs he’s got for me.
I close up at ten to five because Darcy is way more important than any customers who might turn up in the few minutes before closing time. I feed Mrs Potts and make two cups of tea and get some biscuits, and I’m lucky I don’t spill anything in my rush to get outside.
‘Why did you order me a dress?’ I say as soon as I hear his gate unlatch and he appears on the path outside.
‘Because you told me ages ago how much you love Belle’s dress, and it’s a costume ball for literary characters. What better excuse?’
‘Darcy, Sadie’s incredible and her dresses rightly cost hundr—’
‘It has nothing to do with the money.’ He lets himself in through my gate. ‘I guessed you weren’t planning on dressing up, and it wouldn’t be right for the organisernotto have the most spectacular costume of all. And I thought you might feel more confident in character. I know you’re nervous; you doubt yourself and your ability to pull this off, butIdon’t. It might make it easier to push that aside and embody Belle’s bookworm spirit. Playing a character is easier sometimes. A kind of disassociation, a detachment, that makes it easier to compartmentalise.’
Is that what he’s doing? Playing the role of a beast because it’s easier to face life if you’re pretending to be someone else? If he calls himself a monster, does it somehow make it easier to cope with his fear that other people might too?
I think I’ll probably spend the night of the ball panicking about something going wrong, but I decide not to push it any further. I thank him, but it doesn’t adequately express my gratitude. No one has everlistenedto me the way he does. He seems to understand everything Idon’tsay.
I put the tray of tea and biscuits down in the middle of the new rose bench, and he puts the bags full of tulip and daffodil bulbs down beside the newly dug over borders and takes a seat on one side of the bench, and I sit on the other, the tray between us.
