We nearly kissed. Did we nearly kiss?Canyou kiss a man whose face you can’t see? Can youwantto kiss someone when you’ve never seen them? Every time I’ve had a crush on someone, it’s always been about looks. There’s a quote by Victor Hugo about the power of a glance.Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other, yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only. It’s uncomfortably accurate, no matter how much we claim not to be superficial.
‘Apples,’ I mutter as I leave the sanctuary of the counter and crouch down to collect up the flyers, and Mrs Potts sits watching the door, waiting for Darcy to come back.
‘Cats are so lucky not to have these problems,’ I tell Mrs Potts, whoreallydoesn’t appreciate how uncomplicated her feline life is.
After I’ve paced the floor for ten minutes, tidying display tables that were already tidy, Darcy reappears with a gentle knock and lets himself in, carrying a bucket in one hand.
He’s still wearing the Hazmat suit, but he’s recovered his composure better than I have. I’m still breathing hard and I run a hand through my short hair self-consciously because seeing him has made my legs go shaky again, surprised that he came back after that… whatever that was.
‘Sorry about…’ He waves one hand towards the door like that single gesture encompasses everything neither of us can put into words. ‘It’s been a long time since I was amongst books. The new-book smell overwhelmed my brain and I forgot myself for a moment there. Won’t happen again.’
‘At least we can both agree on how deliciously good new books smell.’ I paste on a smile. Am I glad or disappointed? He’s being a mature, sensible adult. I cannot kiss Darcy. If that had gone any further, would he have taken off his disguise? Or would I have ended up with my lips smushed against the plastic visor? Either way, it’s a good thing we didn’t get to find out. ‘That is alotof apples.’
‘The trees have outdone themselves this year.’ He hefts the bucket onto the counter. ‘They’re a quintessentially autumn fruit and I know how much you like all things autumn.’
‘I do.’ I’m smiling at him again and it should probably be awkward, but it isn’t, and I wish I could tell if he was smiling back because it’s really disconcerting not to know.
Mrs Potts rubs around his legs, and he bends down to stroke her again, and Ilovehow good he is to my cat.
He stands back upright and glances in the direction of the door again. ‘Before I go, I wanted to do something while I’m here.’
‘What’s that?’
I canhearthe grin in his voice. ‘Buy a book.’
‘Any specific book?’
‘Yes.’ With that, he strides off into the shelves, and I listen for the sound of his footsteps as he heads towards what I’m fairly sure is the modern-day fairy-tales section.
It isn’t long before he re-emerges withOnce Upon Another Timeand puts it on the counter without a word.
‘Seriously?’ I raise an eyebrow.
‘I thought I’d give it another go. After everything you’ve said about it, I thought… maybe I’d like to see whatyousee in it.’
His voice is stuttery and he sounds nervous, but I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so widely that there’s a genuine possibility my face would split into two halves before. Every time I try to stop, my smile gets wider. ‘U.N.Known wins over everybody in theend. You don’t have to buy this. I’ve tried to give it to you once.’ I push the book towards him and he puts a hand on it to stop it moving and whisks a ten-pound note out of his pocket, holding it out to me between two glove-hidden fingers.
It’s not a fight I’m going to win, so I take the note and put it in the till. I pack the book in one of our paper bags and pop a free bookmark in with it and hold it out to him, and his fingers brush against mine as he takes it, and even with his gloves between us, there’s still a spark that sends the butterflies fluttering around inside me.
‘When I leave my Tripadvisor review, you’ll be getting five stars for service with a smile.’ He takes the bag with what would definitely be a sarcastic grin.
I can’tstopsmiling when he’s around, that’s the problem. And he’d better be joking about the Tripadvisor thing.
While I’m still lost in thought, he pulls a hand out of his pocket and holds out a wad of notes to me.
‘What’s this?’
‘Ten tags on your pay-it-forward board, please. A tenner each.’
‘You can’t be serious. That’s a hundred quid.’
He moves the hand holding the money closer to me, but I’m totally lost for words. ‘Darcy…’
‘Take it.’ He gives a decisive nod.
‘That’s incredibly generous.’ My fingers touch his hand as I take the notes, ding the till open and put them in, and then crouch down to get ten book-shaped cardboard tags from underneath the counter.
‘Once upon a time, I was a book-loving kid who couldn’t afford to buy books. The library was my second home. So many libraries are gone now. It’s really special that you do this. A lifeline for someone who needs a book to escape into. The peoplewho can’t afford it are probably the ones who need the escapism the most. Let me know when those are gone.’