Page 73 of The Wishing Tree Beside the Shor
His fingers get even tighter on my hip as the soft stubble on his chin drifts down until his lips are on my cheek.
It’s not even my cheek, not really, more the side of my face beside my ear, but his lips press there gently, making me feel even more wobbly than I did already from the constant lap of the waves. His lips press harder, his breath ghosting across my skin, making the goose bumps rise again and a shiver goes through me.
‘Ryan …’ I whisper his name for no reason, nothing more than a plea in the night. My fingers have got a vice grip on his arm, there are definitely going to be five white marks where my nails have been digging in, and the nape of my neck gets a tingly feeling.
‘I know,’ he whispers, and it feels like he has to persuade himself to push away.
His fingers have stuck in my hip and it takes long moments to unfold them.
Ihaveto tell him, but he looks dazed, probably as dazed as I feel, and I don’t think I can form coherent words. Instead of splashing me again like I thought he might to ease the tension, he flops onto his back and his legs pop out of the water. I watch him for a moment, unsure if he’s going to say anything else or if I should say something, although I have no idea what, and I’m desperately trying to think of words – the right words to make this sound not as bad as it is, and I can feel panic clawing up my chest because Istillcan’t think of how to say it, and my breathing is getting faster and shallower, and I force myself to stop thinking and take deep breaths. I do the same as Ry and turn onto my back, floating on the surface, looking up at the tree on the cliff behind us.
It’s the most exposed I’ve ever felt with a man, and not just because I’m only wearing a bra. Because, like always, it feels like Ryan can see everything that’s inside of me, and I’m certain he’s going to know about the job lie because that’s the sort of thing Ryan would see through.
He reaches out and catches my hand, tugging me closer and we just sort of drift in comfortable silence, never letting go of each other.
I know one thing above all else – I don’t want this to end.
Chapter 17
‘Henrietta’s coming!’ Godfrey shouts as soon as I get to the strawberry patch the next morning.
He’s sat on one of the benches, and there’s a pile of rose-carved strawberries beside him. I’m guessing they’re Ryan’s work because Godfrey’s hands are shaky as he pushes them onto skewers and stands them into a vase that’s sitting beside him, wrapped in pink-and-gold-spotted tissue paper and tied with a pink ribbon.
Ryan’s up near the gate on the phone, and I wave to him, but instead of waving back or smiling, he turns away.
It makes something go cold inside me, but I try not to read too much into it. The blinding sun is behind me so maybe he just didn’t see me in the glare. I step over the chain still attached to Ryan’s waist and go to stand by Godfrey.
He looks up with a watery grin. ‘We told her nursing home about her wish and restoring the strawberry patch, and asked them to look out for a day when she might be up to the journey, and they phoned this morning to say she’s having a good day and they’ve got a free ambulance to bring her over. Ryan carved these for me with his dexterous young hands, mine aren’t up to it these days.’
‘How many are you making?’ I ask.
‘Until the vase is full or until she arrives, whichever comes first.’
I wave to Tonya who’s on a video call with her grandson discussing something about flyers, and Alys comes over with her phone. She leans across the back of the bench and holds it out so we can both see it. ‘What’s this?’
It’s a photo of a lot of sieves hanging up in the homeware department of a shop.
‘A moon lander! A pirate ship!’ Godfrey throws out random guesses to wind her up.
‘It’s a mass-sieve problem,’ Alys announces proudly. ‘I thought of it myself andshedidn’t get it.’
I laugh out loud, mainly at how proud she sounds of such an excellent pun, but a feeling prickles at the back of my neck, and I look across the garden at Ryan, still on the phone, his eyes on me.
I smile but he doesn’t return it. Something’s wrong. No matter how many years have passed, I still know Ryan well enough to know that.
Alys helps herself to a un-rosed strawberry and wanders away.
‘Count yourself lucky,’ Godfrey says. ‘She showed us a photo of a cow and a potato the other day and it was a cow-ch potato.’
It shouldn’t be funny but it makes me burst out laughing again.
Ryan’s stalking back across the garden now, his lips pinched tightly together, a frown line creasing his forehead. Maybe it’s something to do with Henrietta’s visit and he’s got to break the bad news to Godfrey?
‘Good morning!’ I say brightly.
‘Yeah, morning,’ he mutters. He looks at me for a long moment and my skin tingles in the worst way possible. I have aterriblefeeling about this.
‘Fliss, can we …’ Ryan trails off at the noise of a heavy vehicle pulling in and I push myself up on tiptoes to see over the hedge to the car park and the nursing home ambulance arriving. ‘Henrietta’s here.’
