Page 91 of When Sinners Rise
“What's going on?” she asks.
“Nothing.”
“Liar. I told you. No lies.”
I chuckle a little and look at the lake coming into view in the distance. “Alright. You know I love you, yeah?”
“Yes. You tell me all the time.”
“Yeah, and you know that means I’m here, right? I’m with you. Happy.”
“Well, mostly. I’m not convinced you’re happy all the time.” I turn to look at her, frowning, because she makes me damn happy. She’s the first woman I’ve ever been in love with, and, as far as I’m concerned, she’ll be the last. “Shaw, I know youmiss them. And I know this family isn’t the same. I’m not stupid. They aren’t even technically mine, but they are the family I love.”
“Yeah, maybe I do miss them, but that’s not it. I need something to do, I think. I’m not used to being useless. Back there, rightly or wrongly, I had a point. Purpose, you know?” I take her hands in mine and back up to a stone bench, sitting us down. “But that’s not you, you understand? That is nothing to do with you. Or us. It’s to do with me and what I’m doing.”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about it. You could talk to Landon. Or even Noah. He might have something for you to do that’s more your vibe.”
“I think we both know where that last option’s gonna lead me. He's pretty close to where I was before all this change. Cool guy, though.”
She laughs lightly and leans her head into my shoulder. “Well, maybe that's what you need. Maybe his kind of semi-legitimate dealings could help. I doubt who you were will ever leave you completely. You said you told your family that version of you was dead, but I don’t think it’s that easy. If being some part of something again makes you feel right, then I want that for you. I trust Landon, and an extension of that is Noah. There’s no point hiding it or trying to avoid it. I’d rather we find a place where we’re both happy. Dreams only come true if we’re one hundred percent on board with being honest with each other.”
I smile, wondering how the hell I landed her, and look down at those eyes. “So, you don't mind? I don't want you thinking we’re drifting apart because I’m trying to find the right version of me that fits us both.”
“No. Why would I mind that? That’s what I want. That’s all I want. Just no really bad stuff, yeah?” She reaches up and kisses me. “This around us isn't either of us, but we’re here, and they’ve welcomed us. And I love them for it, Shaw. And I love you, too. We need to find the version of you that’s happy here,with me. Because I’m not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me.”
I pull her in closer, wrapping my arm around someone who wholeheartedly loves me for exactly who I am. Get rid of her? I’m never damn well leaving her. Couldn’t even if I wanted to. She’s part of me, and that’s something only a fool would throw away. I’m not one. “I love you, too, Miri. Always. Don’t ever question it.”
“I know.” Good.
Clouds roll by above us, as we both stare into them. She nuzzles in deeper, and I start thinking about Landon’s words again. Marriage. What a concept from where we began. Although, it's not as confusing as it seemed an hour ago when he spoke. In fact, it might be closer than I think. Why wouldn’t it be?
EPILOGUE
ABEL AND LEXI
“Are you ready?” Lexi asks, coming to my side.
I nod and let her lead me out of the confines into the light. She sways with every step, using everything God gave her and more to keep me following. She needn’t worry about that. She’s my wife – I’ll never not be behind her.
We’re moving the housing today. Twenty-two girls are packed and shipped and on their way to their new homes. Mariana’s getting four of them for Dallas, two are sold for a fair purchase price, and the rest are heading for our lesser strip clubs. In two days, the new intake arrives from Havana, ready to be branded for Carmen to train. I’m not there to witness any of it this time. Kai is.
I frown as the midday sun hits me and take Lexi’s hand in mine. She looks down at them entwined and smiles privately to herself about that. I suppose I don’t show it that often, but love is love, and I am in love. It’s a foolishness I didn’t think would consume me. It has done. I understand now why Dante is so infatuated with his Wren. It’s something embedded, deep down. It’s past loyalty and respect, far past protective instinct,and probably lives somewhere between madness and rage. I like it. I like it consuming me.
“You should call him,” she says, as we get to the steps into the jet.
I walk up them and into the interior. “No.”
She sits on the first leather chair she gets to and stares at me as I sit in mine. “You got in the way of something he wanted at the time. I don’t blame him for that.” I look out of the window, brow arched, and listen to the engines. “No one should blame a Cortez for doing the exact thing they’ve been built and trained to do. It’s what makes you all so effective. You should be proud of him for finding his balls and using them for something other than fucking.”
I smile at her logic because, in some roundabout way, I am proud of him for it. “It surprised me. I don’t like being surprised.”
“Good. That’ll serve him well. At least he aimed for your leg. Who taught him to shoot?”
“Elias. Dante. Knox.” Not me. No, I taught him loyalty and respect, and, by the look of it, I failed regarding family.
Silence drifts between us as the jet taxis and lifts into the sky. I don’t mind it at all, because I’ve got some thinking to do on this flight.
~
