Page 69 of When Sinners Rise
“You’re acting like a child.”
“Really?” I roll over and sit up. “Funny. I was trying to work out why you aren’t more grateful to be free.”
“We’re not free. And I’ll never be grateful for anything the Cortez family have done. They ruined our lives. They murder and maim and destroy lives. They can all rot in hell for all I care.”
“How is Shaw any different from Jackson?” I challenge. Her forehead wrinkles, and she looks confused but doesn’t answer. “Do you need me to ask you again? How is Shaw any different from Jackson? He’s risked his damn life to do the right thing, to help me and you escape, yet Shaw’s still a monster?”
“It’s different, Miri. You wouldn’t understand because you haven’t seen what I’ve seen.”
“Oh really? I’ve not been drugged, raped, held hostage, blackmailed? Starved in a cage waiting for God knows what? And that’s all been after you abandoned me to run off with your very own fucking monster.” I’m panting by the end of my speech. It’s been there, ready to be said, for what feels like years. It doesn’t make me feel any better, though. In fact, I feel like a bitch.
It's not a competition as to who’s had it worse. How sick is that? But she doesn’t have the right to point the finger at me and call me a child. She lost that right when she left me alone.
“Everything I did was for you. To keep you safe,” she snaps.
“And everything I’ve done is to get you back,” I shout, feeling like I need to defend my actions.
“If you’re so angry at me for leaving, why bother?”
It’s my turn to feel wounded and confused. “Because you’re my sister. Why wouldn’t I? I asked Landon time and time again, but then when Shaw—” I pull up, not finishing that. “He gave me the opportunity. You fought for me. It was my turn to fight for you. Even if I’m furious you left.”
Silent tears track down her face.
It feels like when we first went to Tallington, when we had the world on our shoulders and no idea what would happen next. Under that roof, there were possibilities, though, and I hope it’s the same now.
She doesn’t speak but does move towards me, wrapping her arms around me, and I let her. Her warmth helps break down part of my shield that’s been in place ever since she left. Every look from Landon, every training session with Neil, gave me an inner strength to put that shield up. It didn’t exist when we were last together. Why would I need it? I worked for that strength, worked and fought hard. But now, here, I can’t resist the solace I feel standing in the quiet with her.
My arms raise, slowly hugging her back.
We both stay like that for a while, content to simply be.
The soft click of the front door from downstairs breaks our moment, and we both pull away. Naja gives me a weak smile like she’s spent all her emotion in that act of sisterly love.
I leave her to sleep and head downstairs because I feel like this isn’t over, and I don’t want to keep going round andround in angry circles. Perhaps it will be easier soon – With time – When we’re out of here. It won’t matter then, anyway.
Shaw sits in one of the worn chairs as I enter the small room. He looks tired, worn out, and bruised as hell. He stands as I head toward him and glances back at the staircase.
“She’s not coming down.”
He nods. “I need to get some air. Fancy getting something to eat? There’s a pizza place I clocked on the way in. It’s New York, after all.”
“Sure.” I agree. “Do we need to tell the priest? Samuel?”
“We’re not going to be long.”
Walking out of the small garden, we emerge onto the side street, and I walk in pace with Shaw as we head back along the way we drove in. He says this is New York, but it’s not what I imagine when I think of the Big Apple. Bright lights and tall buildings are how I picture it, with people rushing around all the time and yellow cabs. It’s not the same here. For one, it’s quiet, and I take it in for a moment.
Shaw’s quiet, too, but there’s an ominous feeling around him, like he knows something’s coming.
“Will he help?” I ask.
“The priest, yeah. It’s why I did it this way. However, his help doesn’t guarantee anything from Cane. It’s the only ace I have, though.”
“And then what?”
“Landon arranges for you to get back to London.”
“We could have just called him. You didn’t need to risk anything with Logan Cane.”
