Page 47 of When Sinners Rise
I curl in and squeeze myself tightly, looking for any ounce of comfort, and, for a moment, I pretend that none of this happened. Not just meeting Shaw and being tricked, but being taken in the first place. It might be torture, but I let my mind make up the life I’d have back home with Naja. If I'd be visiting her on holidays, making friends, and doing well with school. I plan out the life that was snatched away from me.
It’s a pretty dream and one that calms my nerves and soothes a part of my heart that might still be whole, but it comes crashing down, shattering in my mind as I open my eyes to a hulk of a man outside the door.
A plate of food is in one of his hands, and a bottle is in the other. He looks… terrifying as the darkness obscures his face. I sit up as he moves to open the door. Not a single bone in my body wants to move to try anything against this guy, so I sit still and wait. He tosses the food from the plate onto the floor, dumpsthe bottle of water in after, and slams the door back up tight before grunting and moving off.
I let out a breath and crawl over to the food. A sandwich, now fallen apart, with some sort of meat and cheese combo. My stomach moans at the sight, and I brush off the dirt from the bread and put it back together, glad of something to eat and not above taking whatever is on offer. It gives me something to think about for a few minutes, but then I’m back to make-believe and what-ifs.
~
Nobody comes to see me again. I’m left with the scraps and the water. I have no sense of time, although I assume that the trainer came by because it was the morning. There’s no natural daylight or anything to help me decipher the time.
And then the noises start.
It’s like last night, the muffled sound of cries. But now they grow louder. And the cries morph into screams. Piercing, harrowing screams. I clamp my hands over my ears to try and stop them, but they still seep in.
It brings me right back to the room where they burned me, where they strapped me down and placed an iron-hot poker to the sole of my foot. It stung like hell, and I couldn’t pull away; I couldn’t move. It ate into my flesh and remains the worst pain I’ve ever endured. My foot scrunches inside my shoe, something I do whenever I think about it. The skin’s still tight over the scar, and it’s like I can feel it now, itching as the memory surfaces.
I turn around, face the corner, and put my back to the door to curl up. Cradling my head in my hands, as I wait for the sound of the screams and the pain to stop, doesn't drown the sounds. They drone on, and I start to block it out, or I give in and let sleep finally pull me away.
My cheeks are damp when I wake. And it’s quiet.
“Pathetic. Look at you. All it took was a little noise from my current crop, and you’re like a child all over again. They always break. Remember that.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SHAW
First stop of the night takes me to a Beretta’s. Watching girls strip and drowning my own worthless ass in there does nothing to appease whatever place my screwed-up head is in. I’m just staring at near-lifeless skin as it pulls off moves it’s been taught. Yeah, they know how to pull in the dollars, but they’re all just a shell. No bite – no truth. They’re just made. Or formed. By one of us.
Think I came here tonight because I couldn't get Miri’s words from last night from my head. She said I was better than that place; said she’d felt it. Don’t really know what that means.
I glance around at the heaving bar and tables, watching all the guys throw their money at, or lick across, some skin if it gets close enough. The potent smell of sweat, sex and booze drifts around in the air, intoxicating anyone who’s paying for their night. It’s working. There’s a fuck load of cash rolling around. Typical for this place and for most of the others we own. Maybe this one’s a little classier, but it’s still just the same breed of guy here waiting on their fix. I'm usually one of them.
Some high rollers come over and shake hands with me, asking if I’m down for some card time. I’m civil in response – acting like the Cortez host I should be, given no other Cortez is here to do it – but I’m not down for fun and gambling at all. I don’t even know what I am down for, but pretending I’m good when I’m far from it isn’t on my agenda tonight. Shouldn’t have come.
“Hey, baby,” Gemini says, as her hand brushes my shoulder. I look up and watch as she moves round, swings her leg across me, and sits her ass in my lap. “Haven’t seen you for a while.” No. I sigh and let her rub me in all the right places, head tipping back so I can stare at the lights above. She’s a good fuck, even better at giving head. She was five years back when she was stolen out of Mexico, too, but now she’s a pro at it. Guess that’s why I came here – to get back to reality and forget Miri's words about being better. Because this is it for me, isn’t it? I use the Cortez name I’ve been given; I drink with the money I’ve also been given, and I fuck anything I want.
She starts grinding on me, using her sweet ass to ride me to the beat of the music. There isn’t any talking. Why bother? She knows what I want, and I don’t care what she thinks.
Another sigh comes out of me as I feel myself harden and let her keep moving on me. I didn’t give a damn about Gem’s pleas and hopelessness back when she first arrived. I was a dumb nineteen-year-old back then, all brass balls and no want for anything else but fucking and violence. I should still be that guy. He would've been fine with this life. I’m not that kid anymore, though.
I open my eyes and look at her. She’s not that girl she was back then anymore, either. She’s resigned to the life she’s got – damn good at it. Might even be happy with her lot. It’s not like she doesn’t make enough dollars. I guess Miri will be the same, eventually.
My face screws up, and I try shaking the thought of her out of my head.
Doesn’t work, so I reach around Gem and grab hold of the bottle of tequila. A few gulps down and I rest it back on the booth while Gem keeps doing her thing. Trouble is, nothing’s working now, and all I can see is Miri’s pleading eyes. Might fucking help if I wasn’t thinking about her being on top of me right now instead of Gem.
Hands stilling her hips, I stand and lift her.
She giggles at me and slides her arms tighter around my neck. “One of the back rooms is free.” I drop her to the floor, let her balance those heels, and let go.
“Not tonight.” Her hands slide around my jaw, lips coming in close. I sure as shit don't want them.
I back off and reach into my pocket for some cash, putting a roll of notes in her hand. “Go home. See your kid.” She frowns and falters on her heels.
“What?”
“Just … go be a mom, Gem. Whatever. I’m done tonight.”
