Page 84 of When Sinners Fall
My lips stay still, and I don’t speak or scream or shout any of the words that are burrowing into my mind. They're words that I’m not sure how to comprehend at the moment. And in there, mixing everything up is anger – burning hot – that this is how it’s got to be. I know that now. I know that being with Dante is going to be like this from this moment on. And it’s not fair.
He bundles me into the car, and I look to see Abel and his other brother watching. He pulls the seatbelt over me, and I let him, content to hold on to myself as the shock shakes my body, and I sit. The engine roars to life, and we race into the night with two cars behind us.
~
The apartment is like a graveyard. Neither of us have spoken since getting back. I can only imagine what Dante must be going through. I mean, what happens next? There will be DNA, evidence, and other stuff at that crime scene. You can’t just shoot up a load of people and kill them and get away with it; can you?
My brain hurts. It’s running a million miles an hour and I can’t get to the end of the track. It just keeps going.
“I need a shower,” he finally says as he walks past me into the bedroom. “Don’t move from the apartment.”
The sound of the door slamming behind him cracks through the air, and I look down at my torn clothes and at the blood from where Dante touched me. My fingers reach for the edge of my top and pull it clear from my body, and I continue to shred the clothes that are covered in another person’s blood. They drop to a messy pile on the wood floor, and I march to the guest bedroom and bathroom.
He's not the only one in need of a shower.
I twist the dial and turn it until I can barely stand the heat anymore. The water courses over my skin, washing away the touch of the men, the dirt and filth - the blood. But it doesn’t stop the trembling.
After a while, the water starts to chill, but I can’t move. The images of Nicolas, the men, the blood, and Dante and what he did mingle in my mind. It all plays tricks on me as if they’ve come back to life as I try to wash them away.
I jump as sure hands grip my shoulders, and I turn to see Dante there.
“Come on, Wren. I’ve got you.”
His hand is damp, and there’s no trace of the crimson stains splashed everywhere anymore. He pulls me towards him; his arms wrap around me.
And I crumble.
My body seeks comfort, and with it, the trauma leaks from me, like I’m ridding my body of the pain. Tears flow down my already wet cheeks as he carefully backs us out of the spray and into the bathroom.
But as I relax, my emotions turn to anger - to fear.
Flashes of memories distort my feelings, and I want to fight.
I wrangle out of his hold. “No. No.” I shove him away and grab a towel to cover myself, desperate to escape as panic sweeps over me.
“Wren?” He follows, his footsteps loud on the wood flooring.
“Stop. Stop it. You can’t try to comfort me and pretend this is all okay.” I grab the robe from the back of the ensuite door and wrap it around me.
“It is. It’s over. You’re safe.”
“I’m safe?” My voice hits a new high note as I try to fathom his new level of crazy. “I’m never going to be safe again. And that’s on you.”
“I’d never let anything happen to you. Don’t you get that?” He stalks closer towards me again, but I sidestep and walk away into the sitting area.
“Don’t you understand that what I’m most afraid of right now is you? You, and what you did.” My head spins as I march around like I'm trying to expel everything I’m feeling, or even make sense of it. “You killed him. I know you’ve killed before, but you attacked him. You took your time. You enjoyed it. You didn’t care what you were doing.” I whisper the last words as hot tears follow. “You were so caught up I didn’t recognise you.”
My emotions are all over the place. One moment I’m enraged; the next, I’m terrified of what I need to do next.
He frowns and follows me, crowding me. “I’m the same as I’ve always been, Wren. You know this.”
“No. No, you’d never go this far. You’d protect me. You’d kill for me. But you enjoyed this. You revelled in the violence, and I can’t stand that, Dante. Seeing you like that… now all I see is a monster.”
He stops, almost backsteps, and I see the uncertainty on his face. “I -”
I shake my head. "Don’t. Don’t say anything.”
“It’s late, let’s go to bed.”
