Page 7 of When Sinners Fall
It’s just me on a sidewalk wondering then.
What the hell is she doing back in town?
I look up and around, searching for somewhere to think. There isn’t anywhere around here to think about someone like her. Isn’t anywhere inside me that should be thinking about her, either. She was something more than this life I live. Something more than me and Abel and the shit we got into back then, or now. I start walking anyway and keep frowning until I hit the River Walk, then amble along it lazily trying not to think about what she’s turned into.
Little Wren Bird. Never known a girl with as many balls as that one had back then. Never had a woman stand in front of me to protect me since then, either. Abel was in Huntsville penitentiary. Elias had been taken to live with our father, and I was trying to get through school while all of them knew what my mother was – a whore. A classy one maybe, but we didn’t have the reputation in those days to protect me, and with Abel being sent down, Elias not here, and Knox being so young, it was all on me to take the shit. And I did take it. Every fucking day. If I wasn’t being beaten on for being the son of a whore, Knox was, and I was getting in the middle of that to keep him safe.
I end up sitting on a bench after a while, mulling Wren over, and watch the sun starting to set. Memories continue of the one girl who tried to make my life better. She was as much an outcast as me in some ways - quirky as fuck, opinionated. She liked her own style and didn’t do conforming even then. And so, I got beaten on for her, too. Didn’t matter to me as long as she was the one who wiped the blood down after I’d taken whatever they thought I deserved. She was a friend. The one person I trusted until our reputation started to build and I didn’t need that anymore.
As far as I can remember she left after she’d been to college. Went to some place out of state. I was glad of that. Her knowing the deals I was getting involved in made me need her away from me. Hiding it was becoming a problem. Cortez was everywhere.
Things my mother did.
Things Abel was setting up inside that I had to carry out under orders from outside.
It was all going exactly where it was meant to, and I was living it and not regretting it.
Last time I saw her, she was sitting in a café with some girls, laughing, drinking, being who Wren always was in her teenage years. I smiled from afar and kept myself well the fuck away from something I knew I would ruin. Might be the only good thing I’ve done with my life. And I sure as hell don’t need her back here, now I’m who I am because of that past.
My phone rings, breaking me from memories. Knox.
I pull it up to my ear. “Yeah?”
“Where are you?”
“Downtown.”
“It’s ten.”
“And?”
“Jesus, Dante. I said nine thirty.”Fuck.“Where the hell is your head at?”
Exactly where it shouldn’t be.
I stand and start moving, cutting through people who think running is worthwhile to their life chances. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
By the time I’m standing in the elevator and making my way up to my place, I’m still trying to get her out of my head. Can’t, though. One piece of honourable in my life and now she’s going to learn all about what we are and what we do because we’re whispered about on every corner - talked about in every bar. WeareSan Antonio. We’re its beating heart behind society's veil that pretends it’s clean and docile.
No pretending.
No goddamn concealing it, either.
Knox is already making himself at home when I walk through the door. He’s sitting out on the terrace, a coffee in his hand, his phone by his ear and some paperwork spread out on the table. I grab a bottle of whisky and glasses and make my way out to him, sinking my ass onto the opposing lounger. He stares at me, until he eventually finishes his conversation and stares at me some more.
“What?” I ask.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothin’.”
“You’re never late for a damn thing, Dante. Talk.”
“Nothin’ to talk about other than Reed.”
His eyes narrow a fraction, which makes me keep my own stare level with his. Little fuck always has known my mood inside out. “You’re lying.”
“Yeah, and I know you know that, but this is none of your goddamn business. What have you found?”
