Page 109 of Tortured Eyes
I nod, resigning myself to future interrogations. I guess that's her right. Every mother’s right.
I walk us closer to the doorway, my hand covering hers, and then I look up through the main entrance. Samuel’s already up there, Bryce standing beside him. A long sigh falls from me, my smile widening as I stare at them both. They laugh about something and look down towards me, smiling and waving me up to them. Fuck, she’s stunning. Still. Especially since her aversion to heels and dresses has lessened.
My eyes graze over her body, taking in the firm, tight lines of her frame and the vision of that red hair spilling across her shoulders. She’s everything to me. Always will be. She’s the other side of my coin, the flip side of who I am under these clothes. Never loved anyone like I love her, not even Samuel. She’s part of me in ways he’ll never be because she knows exactly what I am and accepts me regardless of what she’s been part of or felt on her skin.
Toss both of them in together, and I’m a damn lucky man.
Whether I deserve them or not.
Mother leaves me and walks off towards my father and Hope. They're standing side by side looking at Bryce and Samuel. I glance to the right as I make my way to them all, watching as Carter and Fia tackle Reece into place and Gabby holds Anya on her side. Everyone’s here that I care for. Everyone apart from the two I wish could have been here to see this, but I guess they’ll be looking down on us, watching. Samuel says they will be, anyway. I can only hope that’s true.
Bryce eventually moves towards my father as I approach, and Hope steps sideways to look at me. I reach and take Nathan from her hold, cradling his sleeping form in my arms as I watch Bryce take Kara. They’re both so peaceful in our arms. So small and vulnerable. I nod at Hope as she brushes her hand over Nathan’s head and smiles at me. I’m glad she’s here. She’s as close to Vico as I get now, and her memories of him are good ones, ones I can talk to her about if I need to.
“Are we all ready?” Samuel says from up front.
I turn and look at him, our eyes locked for a few seconds, and then I let my gaze linger on the woman who made this possible as he starts speaking. She’s as bright as the last ebbs of summer, her face a beaming ray of sunshine and happiness.
Twins.
Can’t believe she made that happen. I watched them grow inside her, felt them under my hands as they moved inside her. She bitched the entire pregnancy, called me every name under the sun as she went into labour, and now she makes damn sure I understand my responsibility to them—to her. She needn’t bother. I know it all too well. It suddenly made sense when they were born. My father’s words over the years and his hope for a better life for me away from the violence came crashing down on me because nothing matters more than that for these two in our arms. I didn’t get it then. I get it now.
“I love you,” I murmur, moving closer to her.
“Good. Shut up and listen. This is important,” she whispers. I chuckle and look back at Samuel as he draws a cross with his fingers on their heads and chants prayers. “I love you, too, by the way. Always,” she says.
I nod and smile, watching as Fia crosses to stand by Bryce, and Carter comes up beside me. Godparents. Parents who will look after these two if anything ever happens to us. In my line of work, that’s possible. I glance at Carter as he murmurs words to Samuel, answering questions and making sure he understands his responsibility in this. He does. Couldn’t think of another person who would be better in the role of protecting my kids, just like he couldn’t think of anyone but me for protecting Reece and Anya.
Eventually, Samuel blesses the water and asks me the question I knew was coming.
Renouncing sin? Amusing.
I hold my gaze firm with his, damn sure if I have any sin to renounce, he already knows about it and has probably absolved me of it. But I say the words he wants to hear anyway, and then I listen to Bryce doing the same. A small gold dish is dipped into the water, Samuel’s hands dowsing Nathan and Kara’s foreheads with it as he keeps talking. It’s soothing, all of it. Calm words of love and respect being spoken, my family all around me, listening to them and honouring this time. There’s a balance in all of this, a homecoming that’s taken its time. But it’s here now. We’re together again. Comfortable with ourselves and as we should be.
Candles are lit, Samuel’s mouth still murmuring words as Fia and Carter move to place the burning flames in their holders. Symbolic of enlightenment apparently. I guess we've all been enlightened through this. I have, anyway. Loss turned to love, and that love making a reunion possible. And now these two in our arms are here. Along with two young Wades behind me. Who would have thought it? A new generation.
I look back as I hear Reece kicking off about something. Gabby grabs him back to her, her finger pointing as she drags him into a hug. Family. It’s strong here. Aggressive maybe, but absolute and undisputable regardless. It’s how we love, how we show our passion and care for those who mean the most to us.
The thought makes me watch Samuel’s fingers working over the twin’s foreheads again, oil glistening on their skin this time as he anoints them gently. Absolute and indisputable. Quite the words for the Cane family. Never will we be anything less. Could do with getting Bryce’s name changed. A ring on her finger. Not that I think she’d accept it if I asked. She’d see it as rude to Samuel. Maybe it would be, but I doubt he’d mind. He’d probably ensure he did the ceremony, find some way of making himself part of it so we all felt the weight of the words together. Time and the future will tell, I guess.
“Amen,” I mutter, looking back to Bryce as Samuel finishes.
She smiles and moves towards me, her mouth reaching for mine. It’s probably supposed to be a chaste kiss, but fuck that. I keep it going, trying to show her, in these moments, how much she means to me. The others around us must understand where I’m at because the twins are taken from our grasp. Inappropriate, I guess, but I’m not one for giving a damn about appropriate behaviour. Never will be.
Eventually, she breaks away from me, her hand on my chest. “Hardly the right time for that sort of thing,” she says. I don’t care what time it is. Any time is the right time for that sort of thing as far as I’m concerned. “Later. If you’re a good boy.” She looks around, checking out where everyone is. “And you did say I could use the cuffs.”
Screw that shit. She was in labour. I would have said just about anything to save my skin from her attack.
My father’s hand lands on my shoulder before I can get a decent argument out, his other arm holding Kara carefully in his grip.
“Logan?”
I turn to look at him, and then find my eyes drifting down to Kara instead. She looks so damn small up against him, so new against his age. Breakable. He chuckles and puts his hand around to the back of my neck, tugging me somewhere.
“You scared?” he asks.
“Terrified.”
A laugh booms out of him as he walks us towards the exit. I chuckle along with him, squinting as we emerge into the light, and slide my sunglasses on. Don’t think I’ve ever been as scared of anything in my life, all the bullets and death included, but now I’m a father. A father who’s going to need my own father's guidance, regardless of whether he got it wrong with me or not. Maybe he’ll show me how to get it right this time, help me find a path to how it should be done.
