Page 106 of Tortured Eyes
“Always a plus.”
He doesn't comment, just turns to look out of the window, the longest damn sigh coming out of his mouth.
“Tonight was hard for you. I get that, but I’m so proud of you.”
He takes his glass and opens the doors to the balcony. It’s the best feature of the apartment. A wrap-around balcony extending the full width of the sitting and dining area with spectacular views. The first time I set foot out here, it reminded me of the balcony that Julia Roberts sits on the edge of in the classic filmPretty Woman.
I watch him wander the space for a few moments, his fingers tugging at his bow tie and flicking his collar. He's still edgy and needs time to settle back to it just being us. I know him well enough now, as he does me. Living together comes with both of us needing space, and we’ve managed well considering our personalities.
My eyes gaze over the skyscrapers around us, my own sigh betraying my content now that tonight is over. I was sold on this place before Logan put his argument forward about us living here. I didn’t move to New York right away. We all—Logan, Samuel and myself—had a lot to think about and work through. Although I knew I wanted to be with Logan, I was terrified back then. Of failing. Of not being able to share him with Samuel. Of not being enough for him. And so, Logan’s assumption that I’d come straight to New York had to wait, which he didn’t like. Logan wanted me with him, but we needed to compromise on the timeframe.
Starting a complicated, long-distance relationship is stressful, and it wasn’t long before I wanted to be out of Chicago and away from all the ghosts as soon as I could. When I was with Logan, the fears and worries I had vanished and my heart took over, so what was I objecting to? He had a similar idea. He showed me this apartment and the view, and I knew that I wanted to be here with him. I loved hearing how he wanted that just as much as I did and listening to his words of love when they came meant everything to me.
The apartment is for us. Our life together.
“I wish they were both still here,” he says.
“I know.” I lean back against the stone wall and keep watching as Logan looks out across the streets he owns.
“They should be here.”
“And they will stay with us. Always. We learn to carry our grief and their memories with us, and the pain lessens,” I murmur, thinking of my dad.
“Death has been a part of the Cane world all my life. I just always thought we were untouchable. Hell, I’ve seen my dad get shot, and it barely slowed him down.”
Logan’s eyes don’t waver from the skyline.
“You were untouchable in some regards. But death isn’t something we can outrun or dodge. It’s an inevitability.”
“Well shit, that makes me feel fucking great.”
He’s been like this over the last year. Giving me moments where he shares every part of his soul and is happy to show me. It never lasts for long, but I cherish these moments. These are the building blocks to our relationship, and I know whatever shit he comes up with, or how mad he might make me, we’ll have a moment like this when I’m the only other person he can share himself with. Me or Samuel, at least.
“It’s alright to miss them. You loved both of them. And tonight, was a big night," I say. "Don’t beat yourself up.” I lean against his shoulder, seeking some warmth as the cool air chills around us.
Moments drift past with neither of us ready to disturb the peace and quiet. It’s just us and our thoughts. It's more than I ever thought it would be. I get this guy who softens for me, shows me a side of himself that no one else gets. My arms sneak around him seeking more heat.
“You’re cold. Come on. I want to peel you out of that dress anyway.”
“Gladly. I hate this thing.”
“Get used to it, Red, because now I know how fucking delicious you look in a dress, I might not let you go back to just jeans.” He slaps my ass and pulls me tighter against him, licking into my mouth. The kiss turns from soft to sexy in an instant.
“Get inside, before I fuck you right here,” he mutters into my mouth.
“Promises, promises.” His grip tightens to near painful as he tugs the material violently.
“Woman, if I didn’t love you.”
“I know. I love you, too.”
