Page 103 of Tortured Eyes
Thirty-Four
One year later
The Ducati purrs beneath me as I pull up around from the entrance to St Jude’s. There have been plenty of visits over the last few months. Trying to navigate being in a relationship with Logan Cane, I’ve accepted I need as much help as is offered. Our meetings are usually brief and limited to a specific question or problem, as Samuel’s time is usually dedicated to his work, but we generally sneak a few relaxed minutes. His time with Logan is the only competition to that of his work, and over time I've seen how important being a priest is to him.
Entering the wooden doors to the holy building, I wait towards the back of the church for Father Cleary to finish his current business. He’ll come and find me when he’s able, and the space will give me time to frame the question I want to ask. Logan hasn’t been his usual self over the last week or so. He's sharper than usual, rattled. He’s not one to open up and share easily. Hell, neither am I. But his behaviour is beginning to make me wonder if I’ve pushed him too far by doing this event.
“Ms McCarthy.” Samuel’s voice brings me back to the now.
I smile fondly as Samuel takes a seat on the pew with me.
“Did you see Mrs Spencer today?”
“Jenny? Yeah, she came to class. Timid as a mouse, but I’ll see her right.”
Since I resigned from the police force, I've had to find something to stop me going out of my fucking mind. It was Samuel’s idea, but it turns out it was a brilliant one.
“Thank you,” he says, sighing. "It will help."
“Hey, if I get to stop a few more women from being mugged, attacked or worse, I’m good.” He suggested that I offer self-defence lessons for people. It sounded stupid at the time until I thought it through. Beating the crap out of Jimmy was something that gave me time to think and let off steam. Put that with all of my training and the need to do something to protect people, and Samuel’s idea was a perfect solution. Now I get to help prevent the people in my class from winding up as victims on a crime scene wall. At least that’s what helped me come to terms with not being a cop anymore. One of the classes is in Samuel’s parish, and I often have members of the community join through his recommendation. It’s a good way of offering my support to him and the people who need it.
Of course, I miss Jimmy. I worked up the courage to ask him to move and set up the business with me here in New York a while back. But then, after more thought, I realised that wouldn’t be fair. His life's in Chicago, and his gym. He wasn’t too thrilled when I told him I would be moving in with Logan either. Hell, some of the time, I still can’t wrap my head around it. But I won’t compromise my entire world for something I’m not all-in on. Moving here to be with him full time was the only way I could justify our relationship in the end.
“How is he?” Samuel asks.
“The same. Distant. Snappy, and I’m having second thoughts.”
“No. It’s a hard time—the anniversary of both Vico and Nate’s deaths. Your suggestion to resurrect the charity matches Vico put on in his name is a great one. But he doesn’t handle emotion in the same way others do. You know that already.” Samuel almost sounds frustrated.
“Do you ever get used to it?”
“No. But then he wouldn’t be Logan if he were any different than he is.”
“Any advice?” He stands and waves me up with him, both of us heading in the direction of the main doors.
“Be patient with him. If he tries to push you away, know he’s doing it because he’s hurting. He doesn't like to show any weakness.”
“And if he starts a war with his dad and brother when they fly in?” I ask, as we walk out into the dim evening light.
He looks at me and the corner of his lip smirks. “I hear you and Quinn are on good terms at least?”
“You think that will help in the middle of those two? Fucking hell, they are as bad as each other.”
“Bryce,” he admonishes.
“Sorry. I’ll go and wash my mouth out.”
“If I thought that would help.” His softly spoken words lighten my frustrated mood. It's that calming effect he has, even when he’s telling me off.
I look towards my bike parked in the lot, knowing our time is only a few moments here and there to avoid any questions. “I’ll go and grab a coffee from the restaurant and then head home.”
He looks me over quietly. “Remember what we said. And drive safe.”
“It’s like half an hour.”
“And it’s a dangerous bike.”
“He says, knowing who I sleep with." He smirks and puts his hands behind his back, chin held high in front of his church. He's still too hot for priesthood in my opinion, but I guess it suits him just fine. "I'll see you soon, Father.”
