Page 95 of Devious Eyes
“Hey.” I hear her before I see her.
The sound of it sends me straight back to that beach bar where we met, her fingers linked around my neck as we danced. There’s nothing I want more than that, but that’s not what life holds in store for us now, no matter how much I might want it. I am a Cane. And maybe, with luck, she might be, too, one day. But life is coming and it’s bringing war with it.
She finally comes into view, and anger comes racing back into my guts as I stare at her. She’s still badly bruised, blacks and blues speckled over her olive tones, scratches and cuts biting into her skin. I don’t know what I expected, but this isn’t my vision of her. She’s effortless and pristine, beautiful and graceful, not this fucked-up skin and battered face. I scowl, annoyed with myself for having her anywhere near my life.
She fidgets a little, concern creasing that beauty further, and tries to appear stronger than she is. I look her over, wondering how she’s managing. She’s been raped, beaten, and now she’s standing here looking more worried about me than herself.
The eight feet between us is unacceptable.
“What you doing over there?” I ask, holding a hand out and beckoning her over to me. Still she stands there, unflinching. “You okay?”
“Does it end, Nate?”
“What?” I beckon with my hand again. “Come here.”
“This life of yours?” She gazes back with such intensity my heart damn near breaks at the sight of her. All that shit on her skin is because of me, because of who I am. Or at least partly. The vision of her brother slides into my mind, the one man who should have protected her at all costs, knowing the line of business he was in. He didn’t. “Does it, Nate?”
I sigh and put my hand back in my lap, knowing it doesn’t end. It never ends. Quinn’s just reinforced as much, and she needs to make decisions based on that alone.
“No,” I mutter, looking at the floor rather than at her. I might love her. Idolove her. But if this isn’t what she wants, what she can handle, then she’s free to go with no interference from me. I’d rather that than her live a lie—one where she can’t be honest. “And you need to accept that or leave, Gabby.”
Minutes pass, her face seeming to harden with each one ticking by. I don’t know why, but maybe, with any luck, she’s about to go all in with Cane and we can make a future together. I can’t be without her, but I can’t stop being a Cane either, no matter how hard I try.
“You’d let me leave?” she says quietly. My heart sinks, body giving up the will to damn well live if I can’t have her by my side.
“I love you. I’d let you do anything you want to do, leaving me included.”
It might only be small, but the smile that suddenly lights up her face has me mirroring the move, amused at my own admittance. Love—not that any Cane deserves it.
“You do, huh?” she says, crossing her arms.
“Yeah.”
“Not a very calculated emotion.”
“Believe me, it’s the most calculated decision I’ve ever made.” I snort and watch her smile widening. “You, plus beaches, plus fucking, plus that smile of yours. It’s a good equation.” She laughs lightly.
“Well, I guess leaving would be stupid then.”
“Guess so.” She walks over, a small nod coming with the action as she uncrosses her arms and moves closer. I hold my hand up before she does something she regrets, needing to enforce the sentiment. “But you can, Gabby. I need you to know that. Cane is all in or not at all. And this shit’s just blown it all out of the water again. I don’t know what’s coming for us now, but it won’t be rainbows. I can tell you that.”
She hovers for a second or two, her face flattening from the smile that was there.
“That hurt still?” she asks.
“What?”
“Your leg,” she says, moving her ass towards it.
“Yes.”
She sits anyway, at least trying to put her weight on the other one. Not that I give a damn because the moment her lips land on mine, and the second I feel her mouth come home to me, all those feelings of love come racing back to obliterate any other feeling I’ve got. Pain included.
