Page 25 of Wire
“I wasn’t ready to see you or my brothers. That’s if they are still my brothers after everything that happened when I left.”
“You will always be a brother. Havoc for life!” I growl at him.
“Was it Havoc for life when you turned your back on me when I needed you the most?” he snarls back.
Fuck, I was really hoping he would have worked it out by now. I figured the time away would clear his head, and he would see what was really happening. Maybe, I went too far? Did I push too far? His reply is making me question my decision to go the route I did in getting Wire to accept the help he clearly needed.
“Do you really feel that way? Can you honestly not see what I was doing? Fuck brother, I thought you knew me better than that.”
“So did I, Joker, but I needed you the most. The day you caught Carrie and me arguing in my room, she had interrupted me about to end it all. I had the gun in my hand and was raising it to my head when she knocked on my door.”
The second he has finished his sentence, I’m out of my seat and pacing the floor. I knew he was bad, but Jesus fuck I had no clue it was that bad. That we came so close to losing him forever.
“Brother, fuck! I have no words. I knew you were struggling, and from your behavior and from what the girls said about how they found you, I had a feeling of what you had been through. But I knew you wouldn’t seek the help you needed without a push. Conjurer called me and said I had to get you out on the road. That you needed the wind to guide you in the right direction. That being at the clubhouse was doing more harm than good. But I knew, and he agreed, the only way to get you out on the road was to force you. It killed me to make you think I didn’t care like that, but I knew, in the end, it was for the right reason.”
I let that soak in for a while as I watch the truth flick across his face.
“You knew what happened to me, and I didn’t disgust you?” he asks with a hint of shame and fear in his voice.
“Are you fucking serious? If something like that would disgust me or make me think less of you, then wouldn’t I think less of Carrie?”
I see the understanding finally click into place, so I go over to him and do something I have not done before, I hug my brother. I hold him tight.
“We are your family, your brothers. We will have your back always, and no one will think less of you. Don’t you fucking dare think less of yourself either.”
He hugs me back, and I feel his body start to shake. I feel the pain of his tears in my soul. He has been hurting so badly all this time but no longer. I will move heaven and earth to bring my brother peace and pull him through the darkness.
“Sorry,” he mutters, pulling himself together.
“Never hide how you’re feeling from us again. I will make a deal with the devil if it means you come through this.”
“I’ve been seeing someone. A professional who specializes in PTSD. That’s why I haven’t been able to come home yet. I wanted to be a little more healed, but you had other ideas. Dr. Reid is helping me work through what happened while Dog had me. That what was done to me was out of my control and not something I asked for or wanted. He is also helping me understand that It’s okay to admit I’m struggling. It doesn’t make me weak. I’m not fully there yet, it has only been two weeks, but I’m a work in progress. Half finished,” he says with a chuckle. It’s like talking to the old Wire before he was taken.
“It’s time to come home, brother. We have a house for you. All brothers now have a house of their own on the compound. Where our families will be safe. You’ve missed my daughter, Polly, being born and Tank getting a son.”
“Did he make it to the birth without incident?” Wire asks
“Did he fuck. The stupid fucker knocked himself out, panicking. Pandora drove herself to the hospital while we sorted his ass out. But we got him there just in time.” We’re both howling with laughter.
“Fuck, his shit never gets old but always gets better.” Wire laughs.
“I’m glad I have a house. I met someone while I was on the road. Tallulah is her name, and she’s as clumsy as Tank. Could probably give him a run for his money. I want to claim her as my ol’ lady.”
“Bring her to the clubhouse so we can meet the woman,” I tell him, slapping him on the back.
“She’s not here. She lives in a small town called Madison. Lives on a ranch with her brothers. I crashed my bike, and she stopped to help me. Nursed me back to health and we fell in love. But she was rebuilding her relationship with her brothers and felt it was the wrong time to leave, so she stayed behind. Fuck Joker, it nearly broke me completely leaving her behind but it’s not forever. We talk every day. Making it work one day at a time.”
That is a lot to take in, but I’m happy he found someone. His crashing his bike, injuring himself, and not calling me is concerning, though.
“Brother, why didn’t you call me if you were hurt? Did you really think we had turned our backs on you?”
“After leaving the Reapers, I started to question how out of character your behavior toward me was, but I still wasn’t in a place where I could reach out.”
“Brother, I promise you now, I swear on my cut, that we will never turn our backs on you.”
“Let’s go home. I need to call my girl anyway. I’ve been trying to reach her since yesterday, but she’s not answering, which is unusual for her. She always answers my calls, or if she’s busy, she’ll call back.”
“I’m sure It’s all fine, brother. Grab your shit, and let’s get you home where you belong.”
