Page 2 of Wire
“Just a minute,” I call to her.
Getting up, I slowly walk to the door, unlock it and open it to a very worried-looking Carrie.
“What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?” I ask her, opening the door more so she can come in.
Moving past me, she sits in the chair at my desk while I close the door and drop down on the end of the bed so I can face her.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Babes, I’m not the one knocking on my door looking worried.”
“I just had this awful, gut-wrenching feeling something was wrong, and I had to find you.” Her eyes never leave mine as she says this.
It feels like she is ripping my heart out.
Maybe someone around here hasn’t given up on me yet.
“I’m okay, babes, as you can see.” Waving my hand up and down my body.
“It’s not your body I’m worried about, Wire. It’s your mind. You went through something traumatic, and you haven’t really dealt with it. And before you tell me there is nothing to deal with, I call bullshit!” Her voice is stern.
“I can tell by your behavior you haven’t dealt with any of it. You’re moody and argumentative. You’re distancing yourself from the brothers. You have anger issues and lose it at the smallest thing, and you hate anyone that isn’t one of us girls touching you. Wire, you have all the classic signs of PTSD.”
She jumps up out of the chair and starts pacing my room. Rubbing her cute baby bump.
“There is no judgment, especially from me. But you need help, professional help.”
Okay, she’s getting me angry now.
“Are you saying I’m crazy, losing my mind?” I growl at her, unable to help myself, feeling like she’s cornering me.
Her eyes get wide
“No, I’m not saying anything like that. This is what I’m talking about. You aren’t listening to what I’m saying. I know how you’re feeling. It helps to talk and get it out,” she spits back at me.
“Carrie, you know fuck all about what I’m feeling,” a shout at her.
“Yes, I fucking do,” she shouts back.
My bedroom door flies open, smashing into the wall, and Joker storms in.
“What the fuck is going on?” he demands.
“Tell your ol’ lady to mind her own business and not stick it in mine,” I growl.
“Watch it, brother. You disrespect her again, and we will have problems,” he threatens.
“I was only trying to help,” Carrie says in a small voice, making me feel like the biggest asshole in the world. I shouted at a pregnant woman, a woman I think of as a sister.
“Come on, Babydoll, some people can’t be helped.” With his parting shot, he wraps an arm around Carrie and pulls her from the room but not before I hear Carrie reply.
“Wire is always worth helping.”
Clearly, she’s the only person who thinks so.
Later that day, I take my seat, ready for church. The earlier conversation with Carrie still playing in my head. If her parting comment is to be believed, then she still has faith in me. Am I worth that faith?
Joker comes into church and gives me a side-eye snarl. Yeah, he really doesn’t have any faith in me. Since the whole incident in my room, he has ignored me completely as if I didn’t exist. We used to be close brothers. But since I came back, there has been a divide between us. I can feel my brothers pulling away from me, and I don’t know how to stop it. I know my angry outbursts haven’t helped, but I also feel like they haven’t even tried to help me. I genuinely feel alone.
