Page 105 of Scandalous Contract
I’d quickly texted him back:Fuck you. This isn’t my ending. It’s my beginning.
I’d driven home, expecting to check the mailbox and find something from Julian. But there had been no letter waiting to soften the blow. Now, standing in my kitchen putting groceries away, I caught myself sighing because I’d come to depend on Julian’s letters too much.
I was supposed to be focusing on myself and learning to be happy with myself by myself. The goal was to stop searching for happiness in others or allowing myself to fuel the happiness of others while neglecting myself.
Yet here I was, sad because Julian hadn’t written me a letter. Was I transferring my codependence from India to Julian? Did I need someone in my life in some form at all times for me to be okay?
Could I not be alone for a while, completely alone to get to know myself again? Another heavy sigh escaped me. I’d been alone since India went to college. I was tired of being alone. And Julian’s letters had filled that void.
But I couldn’t depend on them. That would be an addiction I couldn’t keep up. I was almost done putting the groceries away when my phone rang. I didn’t even look at the screen before answering. The ring tone was one he’d chosen for himself.
“Hey, Ronnie,” I answered, tucking a loaf of bread into the pantry.
“Hey,Ms. Fuck That Job?” he teased.
I smiled faintly. “That’s me! What’s up?”
“Just checking in on the newly retired queen of meteorology. You settling into freedom yet, or are you already bored?”
“I didn’t necessarily retire. I’m not old enough to do that. I’m moving into my second career.”
“Same thing. How are you handling it? Are you okay? Has it really hit you yet that you’ve quit?”
I snorted. “It’s too soon to tell. I haven’t had a chance to enjoy it. Yesterday was a shit show.”
“Oh? Did something happen?”
“Yeah. I showed up at work thinking I’d say goodbye to everyone. I’d planned a goodbye speech to say to my followers on air. But nope. Security met me at the door with a box and told me I wasn’t allowed in. Mark said I could have the day off. No goodbyes. No hugs. No, thank you for your time here. Just...a box.”
Ronnie went quiet for a second. “Damn. I’m sorry, Stef.”
“I don’t even care about Mark,” I muttered. “It’s the fact that I didn’t get to hug anyone. Or say goodbye. It just felt cold. It felt like they were letting me go and not the other way around.”
“Those ungrateful fucks! Jobs suck. That’s why I started my own business. Fuck them jobs.”
“Yeah, fuck them jobs.”
“And you can always go on social media to say your farewell.”
“Yeah. But without doing it on the air, people are going to assume I was let go or something.”
“That’s why you’ll make sure you say you’re retired and to stay tuned, more is coming from the Diva soon.”
“Yeah, I could do that.”
“Bitch ass, Mark. If I see him or Hudson, I’m going to fuck them up.”
“I’ll help,” I told him as I closed the cabinet and strode over to sit down at the kitchen table.
“You started your romance novel yet?”
I laughed dryly. “Of course not.”
“You should. Use this summer to work on it. I’m ready for chapters, woman. I’ve been in a reading slump lately.”
I stared down at my feet. “Do you really think I could do it?”
“Hell, yeah. But you won’t ever do it if you don’t start.”
