Page 73 of Brood
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” I ask for what feels like the hundredth time. “I’m really worried about you staying here. They might know you and Trevor helped us.”
“How would they know?” She’s as matter-of-fact as ever. She’ll always be mostly unflappable.
“I don’t know. Maybe they’d just guess. It feels like such a risk.”
“It’s a bigger risk trying to get out of here. I thought about it, Cadence. I really did. But Trevor refuses to leave, and I just don’t see myself leaving him for any reason. We’ve settled into life here okay. We’ve managed to stay under the radar of Brody and whoever is working with him. I’m not sure I have the energy or the courage to do what you and Will are going to do.”
“That’s what Danny said when I asked him. He was sure Tara would never even consider it, and he seems mostly comfortable with life here. But I still worry.”
“It’s fine. We’ll be fine. I promise.”
She can’t really promise me anything. No one is truly safe when people as heartless and ruthless as Brody and his allies have so much power. But it’s her decision. Not mine. And she’s right. The risks are greater leaving than staying here.
For Will and me, it’s different. Every day it feels like there are more covert eyes on us. Every day it feels like the walls are closing in.
Plus, in another month, I’ll be forced to stop breastfeeding Bun, and then we won’t have access to him again. For years we won’t be allowed to even see him.
We have to make our move now.
“Okay.” I reach over to squeeze her hand. As always, we keep the gestures of affection discreet. “Maybe things can get better here. After all, Brody is in his mid-fifties. He can’t live forever.”
“No. He can’t. Things will change, and it might happen soon—particularly if it gets out that you, Will, and Bun actually escaped to the surface. It’s possible that, after a while, we’ll be able to see each other again.”
“I hope so.” I smile at her, slightly wobbly. “We’re going to head directly for the Mill. Hopefully, they’ll take us in. If not…well, we’ll figure something out. We’ve managed to stash away enough provisions for at least a few weeks, and we have them all packed and hidden. Will even managed to steal a weapon from the arsenal.”
“It sounds like you’ve done everything you can to prepare. Be brave, Cadence. I’ll be here. And with every part of me that knows how to hope, I’ll be hoping that we’ll see each other again soon”
* * *
At a little before three that afternoon, I walk into the nursery. It’s my regular feeding time, so I nurse Rosie like I normally do.
I’m unexpectedly emotional as she finishes her meal. I kiss her little head and pat her back until she burps.
We can’t take Rosie with us. I actually suggested it early on, but carrying one baby is risky enough if we have to run or fight on the surface. Two would make it nearly impossible for us. She’ll be fine without my breast milk. She’s been taking formula a lot and has already started on solid food. But she doesn’t have a mother. It feels like she’s my responsibility, but I’m going to have to leave her behind.
While I’m finishing up with her, Vera comes in and changes Bun, even though he was sound asleep and didn’t have a dirty diaper. She has a schedule and sticks to it no matter what. When she has returned him to his crib, she changes one of the other babies’ diapers, getting her ready to be carried to her mother’s room to be fed.
She ignores me, and I ignore her. That’s what I always do, and if I didn’t, she might suspect.
When she leaves, I wait two minutes. Then I reach into my pocket and turn on the device Will gave me. After about thirty seconds, when I can be sure the cameras are disrupted, I kiss Rosie one more time and settle her in her crib. Then I pick up a happily babbling Bun before strapping him to my back with a sturdy fabric halter contraption Will made last month.
It leaves both my hands free, and that might be important.
If I let myself process what’s happening right now, I’d be so terrified, I might fall apart. But I don’t focus on the bigger picture. Only the next step to be taken. Then the one after that. I keep the camera disrupter on as I leave the nursery, walking slowly so the hallway cameras have time to go off before I pass into their view.
The halls are empty at this time of day. Everyone is on a work shift or on break in the Meadow or in their quarters. I see absolutely no one as I walk to the south end of the Refuge where the farm, gardens, and provision rooms are located.
I freeze when I approach the door to the clinic and see it slide open. Glenda steps out and blinks when she sees me. After a moment, she turns back around intentionally and says in her cheerful voice, “Oh, Dr. Cameron, before you leave, can I talk to you for a minute about a patient from this morning?”
The doors close at her back, blocking the view of the hallway as I pass by more quickly than before.
Glenda has no way of knowing what I’m doing, but she would have seen that I’m carrying Bun on my back. She probably believes I’m sneaking some extra private time with him. She’s a kindhearted woman, and she’s trying to help.
If Dr. Cameron had caught me, our entire plan would be ruined when it barely started.
I keep walking, shushing Bun gently when he giggles.
The rest of the route is smooth and uneventful. I don’t see anyone else until I turn a corner at the far end and see Will standing in front of an open electrical panel like he’s working on it.
