Page 7 of Brood
After all, he probably got thrown into this marriage as abruptly and reluctantly as I did. Plus, he lost Vanessa only a few days ago.
Maybe he’s sad. The Refuge has always discouraged mourning, just like any other excessive emotional expression, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt to lose a spouse.
The idea that he’s grieving helps. Humanizes him. He might not be mean and cold. He might simply be sad. It’s not his fault our genes match better than mine with Danny’s.
I’ve always adapted to the changing requirements of life here. At five I left the nursery to start school. At thirteen I graduated and began a worker’s life. Now I’ll marry. Hopefully get pregnant. Maybe even more than once.
It’s a good life down here. We’re safe and healthy and peaceful when the surface world is not.
I can do this too.
Iwilldo it.
It’s not going to be as awful as I fear.
Chief Will never would have been promoted to the Council of Chiefs if he were a bad man. He must have spent his thirty-seven years following the rules and working hard. Just like me.
Squaring my shoulders, I stand up. Pick up my crate. Leave my small private quarters for the final time.
I walk through three long hallways and turn into the far west wing that houses the council chiefs. His suite is numbered 1010. I stand in front of the control panel until the camera reads my face. The door slides open with a mechanized hiss.
I’m holding my breath as I step inside, but he’s not in the room yet. These quarters are much larger than mine. There’s a living area with a couple of lounges and a small table with chairs. The ceilings are much higher than in regular sleeping quarters. An archway directly ahead leads into a bedroom with two beds against opposite walls, each neatly made up with crisp white sheets and coverlets. There’s a white nightstand with three small drawers for personal belongings next to each bed. A closet to hang up clothes. And the most significant privilege is another door leading to a private bathroom.
He’s got the lighting set to soft white, so I switch it to gold, which makes my hair look closer to blond.
It takes no time at all to unpack my stuff from the crate. The nightstand on the right is empty, so I stow most of my personal stuff there. I hang up my pants and shirts in the closet and put my underwear and camisoles in a large empty drawer in the bathroom. I set the crate on the floor next to my bed. Then change my mind and put it on top of my nightstand. Then change my mind again and leave the suite to walk it back to Provisions.
When I return, I jerk to an abrupt stop at the sight of Chief Will across the quarters. He’s standing in between the beds, staring down at the tablet I laid on mine.
“Since that nightstand was empty, I assumed that’s the side I should take. I’m happy to swap if you prefer.”
“No. I’m used to the left side.” His voice is soft. Deep.
“Okay.” I step out of the doorway and let the door slide shut.
Now we’re alone in absolute silence.
We stare at each other across the length of the living area until I rediscover my ability to move. I walk into the bedroom so I’m closer to him.
“Do you need help with more of your stuff?” he finally asks.
“No. I got it all.” I swallow hard, dropping my eyes. “Thank you.”
He makes a wordless grunt that must substitute for a real response.
I can’t seem to stand still. My hands keep moving, clasping together and then clenching at my sides and then clasping again. I don’t like to appear so insecure, so I sit down on the side of my bed.
Without a word, he goes to the bathroom for a few minutes and then returns smelling like soap. He sits down like I am.
Now we stare at each other from our respective beds.
“I’m ready for sex anytime,” I finally blurt out.
His brows lower slightly, and there’s a slight pause before he says gruffly, “Okay.”
Relieved that we can at least get intercourse over with, I start unbuttoning my shirt.
He does the same. He’s not wearing anything under his shirt, so I get a look at his bare chest. It’s a good one. He’s not a huge man, but he’s got broad shoulders and well-developed muscles. There’s dark hair on his chest, a flat belly above the waistband of his white trousers.
