Page 14 of Brood
“I would describe it as a normal person who feels she’s doing her best in a situation she doesn’t want and has absolutely no control over. I understand that you lost Vanessa and never expected to get stuck with me, and so you’re not happy about this marriage. But it doesn’t seem to occur to you that I’m a person just like you and might feel similarly. My entire life, I was supposed to marry Danny, and then suddenly everything changed for me. I’m trying to make the best of the situation. I’m not the one making this difficult. You’re the one who actually had some sort of choice about this marriage. If you didn’t want me, you should have said so.”
The words are pouring out after being stifled inside me ever since our ceremony yesterday. They’re rash. Unwise. I shouldn’t be saying them.
I swallow hard as Will stares at me, tense and glowering.
“You think I had a real choice in this matter?” he asks thickly.
“I don’t know. But I do know you had more choice than I had. It’s not my fault we’re married. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t take it out on me.”
“I’m not taking anything out on you. I’ve been basically polite this whole time. Yet again, you’re being defensive.” His mouth twists. There’s a glint in his eyes that proves he knows exactly what he’s doing when he adds, “Prickly.”
I’m so angry, I want to scream. Or, worse, burst into tears. I turn around, showing him my back as I contort my features in an effort to keep control.
Some people are good at that. Will clearly is.
I’m not.
It takes real effort.
I’m blowing out the anger and resentment when the surge of feeling finally settles.
I turn around to continue the conversation, but he’s already walking out the door.
* * *
I stew about the argument and his uncooperative attitude all afternoon. Anytime I’m not focused on work, I’m rehashing everything he said, how and why all of it was wrong and rude and unnecessary.
Dinner is the one meal at the Refuge that’s eaten communally. It’s the only time of day without work shifts or varying duties. I’ve always eaten at a table with Danny and Bella and others I know and like. Will eats at the table with some of the other council chiefs and a few of their spouses.
I thought he might expect me to move to his table, and earlier today I would have been willing to do so. He doesn’t say so, however. He makes no gestures toward me. He doesn’t even look at me. So I’m not about to volunteer to sit next to someone who doesn’t like me or want me in his life.
I pretend to be in my normal good mood with the others, since I’m not about to admit I’m already arguing with my new spouse. After dinner, I stall going back to our quarters. I chat with Bella and go with my friend Ferrell to see a new crop of tropical fruit they’ve managed to grow in the greenhouse this year.
It’s later than normal when I finally return to our quarters. Will is already there, sitting on his bed and reading something on his tablet. He slants me a cool look as I enter.
Well, that answers the question of whether he’ll want us to reconcile and start fresh.
I meet his look with a matching one of my own and head directly into the bathroom, where I wash up and brush my hair and teeth.
I leave my hair loose since he asked for that yesterday and walk out of the bathroom wearing nothing but my panties and camisole.
When I stand in between our beds, facing him, Will glances up from his tablet.
His shoulders tighten, and his eyes run up and down my body in an unexpectedly urgent way. He sets his tablet on his nightstand.
“I’m ready for sex whenever you are,” I tell him.
“Seriously?” His dark eyebrows lift.
I frown. “Yes. Of course. Why wouldn’t I be serious?”
“You’re still angry with me.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
He stares.
It seems blatantly obvious to me, but maybe it doesn’t to him. “We’re in this situation to have babies. That’s the only reason we’re together. I’d like to get on with it, unless you’re too annoyed to have sex with me.”
