Page 60 of My Best Friend's Brother
Keke’s own eyes stung. She nodded.
“Keke, I know it will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, up until this point.” She paused and chuckled. “When you go into labor, then this will seem to be a breeze. But…I want you to forgive him. He wasn’t ready for the three of you because he hadn’t worked himself out. I know it’s not a good enough excuse, but I hope it helps you understand him a little more.”
Keke considered in silence. Forgive her father… The idea seemed preposterous. She didn’t want to condone his actions.
“When I forgave him, I felt such peace. He was wrong and so was I, but that pain isn’t worth the rest of my life. It isn’t worth yours either.” Her mother squeezed her at the waist. “Let it go.”
Keke remembered Kat said her mother was on medication. “Kat said you were taking antidepressants? What else are you on?”
Mary frowned slightly. “Yes, I had to be put on some medication. I didn’t want you or your sister Kori to know—so you wouldn’t worry.” She had a faraway look in her eyes. “When your father died, I confess I felt alone, abandoned even. It’s strange to say it now, but suddenly I had to figure out everything. You know how controlling he was.”
“Yes, I remember very well.”
“With change often comes some anxiety. I wasn’t prepared for that. But”—she smiled cheerfully—“I am doing much better. I still have to take the medicine for a little while longer, but maybe I can convince the doctor I don’t need it anymore, yes?”
Keke looked away. Her spine crawled. She didn’t want to think her mother was crazy, but she’d be lying if she said that wasn’t the first thought that came to her mind. Keke made a mental note to read about anxiety and depression. “If you’re feeling better,” she encouraged.
Mary sighed peacefully. “I am, daughter, I am. Kat said I have plenty of life left. I was thinking maybe I’d go to college.”
That shocked Keke. “College? And study what?”
Her mother shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve always enjoyed history. Got all As in high school. Maybe I can take a few classes. Get a degree. Oh! There’s a reenactment society here. I’ve been going to their weekly meetings.” She chortled. “Can you imagine me dressed up in period costume? It been exciting.” She waved a fake fan. “Pretending to be a great lady. I’ve met some wonderful people. They’ve made me feel so welcome. It’s been wonderful coming out of such a hard shell.”
Keke laughed, her heart feeling lighter at the sight of her mother enjoying life. She’d never really experienced her mother finding joy in something other than her children. “Yeah, Mom, I think that’s great.”
Her mother’s expression sobered. “I want to apologize to you, Keke, again—”
“Mom, no—”
“I should.” Her eyes implored Keke’s silence. “I meant it when I said I failed you and your sisters. Please…forgive me. I am and will try to be better.”
Keke believed her. Her father harbored much of the blame, but resentment for her mother had been festering for a long time. Keke hugged her mother. “I forgive you,” she whispered. Emotion lifted from her chest, and she squeezed her mother tighter.
For the first time, she had been able to put herself in someone else’s shoes. Her mother had a difficult road ahead of her, but her smile and bright eyes meant she was well on her way; at least, that’s what Keke chose to believe.
“I’ll leave you here. Think about what I said…about forgiveness.” She looked at the grave. “Goodbye, Gregory. I’m sorry we can’t go back and do it again. Your daughters and I are okay. No, we’re better than okay. I hope you find peace.”
She rubbed Keke’s back. “If I don’t see you before you leave, please let me know how your audition went.”
“Okay, I will,” Keke promised.
She watched her mother’s retreating back—straight and proud. Keke dragged her gaze back to her father’s grave. He was gone. Holding on to the bitterness and resentment would maybe one day force her onto antidepressants.
Her mother was right. Saying goodbye and moving forward was the only way to experience true freedom. Even from across the country, her father’s words had trapped Keke, haunted her, driven her to defy him and prove him wrong.
Now she no longer needed him. She could prove to herself that she could achieve her dreams.
“Goodbye, Dad. I forgive you.”
