Page 38 of Hers to Kiss
“You know about the app?”
“I do, yes. Mom probably does, but I know Pete’s keeping the details to himself in case it doesn’t pan out. He doesn’t want to give our dad any more ammo to push Cornell. To tell you the truth, I want Pete to go to Cornell.”
“Why? Pete isn’t excited at all about school.”
“I know, but it’ll set him up in the long run. Anyway, it’s less about school and more about how he’s on the verge of living his dream and Dad wants him to go in another direction—the one he didn’t take. Either way, if Pete found out about Mom, he wouldn’t do either.”
She believed that. Pete wouldn’t leave his mother’s side. “No…he’d be a terrible son.”
“He would stay here,” Bertie continued. “Stay here and waste away for who knows how long. The pressure our dad puts on us… Pete’s so sensitive, the guilt would eat at him. He might not have the courage to leave after…after Mom…”
Keke squeezed her friend’s shoulder. “Don’t think about it. I’m sure your mom wants you to be happy.”
“She does, but it’s not possible. I know the truth. Other than you, I’m the only one sharing the burden. It’s more work pretending nothing’s wrong than crying my eyes out, which is what I want to do all day long.”
Keke leaned over the bed and pulled out her shower caddy. She felt around for the travel-sized tissues and handed Bertie one. Bertie blew her nose, which prompted a few giggles from the girls still awake.
“Kids,” Bertie muttered. “They’ll laugh at anything.”
“Forget about them for a second.”
“I’ve forgotten about a lot of things. I barely eat now… But I’m trying my best to shield Pete. That’s why I…why I don’t want him to be hurt by anyone over anything.”
Keke figured she meant by her. She had no plans to seduce Pete and had worked to get him ready to date other girls. It disappointed Keke to think Bertie would believe her to be malicious in her pursuit of men—especially Petey.
She wouldn’t purposely break his heart.
No, she couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t be a natural progression during their relationship, but that’s only because Keke had other plans than to stay here in Springfield. Even Pete was going somewhere—Cornell or wherever that gaming company was located.
“Pete’s still a timid, emotionally fragile guy. He can’t get our father’s approval for anything he does on his own. Dad only recognizes achievements he’s missed out on in his own life.”
“I understand,” Keke answered softly.
“I’ve tried telling Dad that Peter is a different man, but Dad won’t listen. He doesn’t have…”
Heart.The man was heartless.
And Keke didn’t believe he’d be the best nurse during his wife’s final months. No, Bertie was right to leave school to be here for her mother. She was the only one strong enough to handle the burden.
Tears flowed down Keke’s cheeks. Bertie was…amazing.Could I do the same for my mother?Keke harbored bitterness against the woman who refused to stand up to her husband when he was emotionally abusive to her children.
No. The answer was no. Keke wouldn’t be able to care for her mother.
And part of her felt sorry about it. And guilty. And maybe a little shameful.
What she could do was honor her friend as she eased her mother through her final months. “I won’t say anything,” Keke promised.
“Not even to Peter?”
Keke hesitated. She didn’t think it was right keeping the secret from him. Even if it ruined his life. Pete should have the choice to make that decision, and it was being taken away by those closest to him, those who wanted him to succeed the most.
“Keke?”
“I’m thinking,” she whispered quickly.
“About what? It should be easy.”
“No, it isn’t.” Keke sighed, frustrated. “I know what it feels like to not have a choice. Peter’s going through that right now. You know that! To take this away from him… To not tell him about his mother. You don’t think he’ll regret not spending these last moments with her? He could be taking them for granted because he doesn’t know the truth.”
Bertie looped her arm around Keke’s. “It’s not about choice, though. Not really for me or Mom. It’s aboutprotection. It’s about freeing him from Dad.”
“And what about you? Will you ever leave? I’m sure your mom doesn’t want you to be a captive for the rest of your life. She’d want you to pursue your dreams.”
Bertie shrugged. “I…I don’t know. Maybe… I can’t even think about it. I only have enough emotional strength to think about her needs right now.” She squeezed Keke’s arm. “Please, Keke. Think about Peter. Think about what he wants. Think about what’s best for him and how he’ll feel once he’s free. Remember how you felt.”
Keke did. It had been as though shackles had fallen away from her legs and she could dance any way she wanted.
And it made the words come easier. “I promise.”
