Page 75 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
She clicks through to the site and on autopilot, having done this most days for the last fortnight, she taps in today’s date. Normally she’d get the “Nothing available for this date” message before she tries the following day, but intriguingly she’s taken on to the next field and then the next and there, in front of her eyes is a seat, a seat to take her back to whence she came, away from all this. It’s to London Gatwick, not London Heathrow, which is closer to her apartment, but it’ll do. And before she knows it, she’s clicked a few more buttons including her credit card number, and the order confirmation is right here in front of her face.
She’s going home.
* * *
Having already finished emptying her room– many things having been moved down into the basement storage, some to charity and more than she’s anticipated simply to the bin– within two hours Anna has her handbag sitting against the wall in the hallway, along with a large suitcase of things she’s taking with her. Clearly, a year and a half away has given her perspective on what she really needs. The room upstairs is hoovered and ready to hand back to the tenant.
She’s looking around at the living room and kitchen, taking it in, memorising it. Her eyes fall on Vivi’s decorations, and she takes photos of all of it. Angry as she is, she trusts Jamie to put them away again carefully. The padlock on the storage room is unlocked, so he can reseal it once he’s stored the boxes back on the shelves. She’s even managed to wrestle her bike back down there, which can only have been fuelled by the rage, which has also carried her through the furious but efficient packing. Her passport’s in her pocket, and her ticket is on the phone, so there really is little left to do but lock up and leave.
She glances towards the window, where it’s dark again outside. While she’s still livid with him, it sits badly with her to just go, without so much as a “Thanks for having me.” Regardless of what he did today, he did her an absolute solid by taking her in. Where would she have been for the last fortnight without him allowing her to stay?
She can’t wait much longer, as she has a flight to catch, and the airport will be rammed. It’ll have to be a note. She can’t think of another way to do it, because calling him is out of the question. Hearing his voice will… no. No call.
Having found some paper and a pen, Anna sits at the table, pen poised.
And ten minutes later, she is still sitting there, at a loss. What should this note be? Essentially, she’s telling him she’s gone, but thanks for the roof over her head. She could let him know she does like him, really really like him, but the circumstances were against them– oh, and thanks for the sexy times. Or she could use it to give him the bollocking he so deserves for his stunt today. But the paper isn’t long enough and writing it won’t have the gravitas her fury feels it deserves. And her absence will probably give him an inkling of how welcome his plan was. She could always give him an earful if he calls her, to follow up.
Just as she’s recognising what a poor writer she’s turning out to be, she hears voices outside on the street. Moving to the window at a crouch, she spies. Jamie is parking his bike in the yard and Lajla stands holding hers, complete with Nikoline in the bike seat, on the other side of the fence. Jamie notes Anna’s bike isn’t there and Anna supposes he assumes she’s still having a cosy making-up session with Maiken at A.C. Perch’s. He walks back to them and holds out his hand, to tweak Nikoline’s nose, which makes her laugh. It’s a sweet little scene, two parents watching their daughter.
And Anna recognises her job here is done, the fake-dating is no longer needed. She also sees, with a harsh dawning, that while Jamie seems sure there’s nothing between him and Lajla, looking at them now, maybe therecouldbe. Having been through a heartbreak already, Anna knows she can’t do it again. They deserve to explore whether this could be something, for Nikoline’s sake, and Anna deserves not to sit in London, worrying about a long-distance boyfriend having something else on the go. That could totally happen.No. Anna sees it now. Facilitating this reunion was the reason she was stranded here, and her role is over.
Standing up and moving back into the room, she knows any thoughts she’s possibly been entertaining, even just a little bit, of there being more for her and Jamie are soundly popped in a mental box and sealed off.
Although part of her wishes she could just vanish, she waits by the table for him to come in. She hears him call “Hej, hej,” to Lajla from the step and then bundle through the door as he normally does. He rounds the corner to the living room and jumps when he sees her.
“You’re here,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks gorgeous, Anna thinks, and tries to memorise his face just as it is, ruddy from having been out in the cold, his hair a mess having been released from his hat. He’s carrying a paper bag from Skt Peders Bageri. Pastries. He places it on the kitchen counter, then slides off his coat, dropping it onthe barstool.
Neither of them knows what to say at first. They watch each other from either side of the table, a strange mix of emotions filling the room.
Finally, Anna says, “You saw Lajla and Nikoline?”
“She texted as I was finishing work. Said they were in the park, and we could meet. We chatted a bit more and I played with Nikoline. She’s the cutest kid.” His eyes are bright with the memory, but his body is more tense. “Isuggested Lajla come to see where I live. I didn’t invite her in, I just thought it might help if she knew where I was, that we’re not far apart if she wants help. I don’t want to put any pressure on her.”
“Sounds like a good plan, Jamie.” She means it, too, despite asmall lump in her throat.
“And I took your advice earlier and told my dad. About Nikoline– a slightly tailored version, but enough for him to understand that I’m not leaving.”
“What did he say?”
“He immediately wanted to come and meet her, but I’ve told him there’s some work to be done yet.”
Much as that work is still a hill to climb, Jamie looks lighter for having addressed it. Or perhaps he’s just relieved to have his father off his back. Either way, Anna’s pleased he’s done it and gives him a “Well done.”
He tilts his head. “You got home early.”
Anna looks away, she doesn’t quite know where to take this in the time she has. And yet there are some things that need saying. “Jamie, what you did today was completely out of order.” She tries to keep her voice calm, but the words are still unsteady. “It was an ambush.”
Jamie rests his hands on the back of a dining chair. “I thought… I thought if I could get you to talk, you could maybe have it out with her and say what you needed to say.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make.” He senses her simmering anger, but as always, he faces the argument.
“How is it different from when you surprised me with Lajla?”
“It’s all kinds of different! In your case the surprise was a good one because you wanted to connect. You said you wanted to speak to her, and I made it happen. In my case you knew I’d expressly said I didn’t want to speak to Maiken and yet you went ahead anyway. I was shocked and humiliated. I didn’t want to be there, and you put me in that position without my permission. It was totally beyond your purview and yet you did it anyway. Like you thought you knew better, and my decision really couldn’t be right for me. I don’t think you’re the controlling type, but at the very least it’s condescending.”
“That was never my intention,” he says.
“I don’t need you making decisions for me. I grew up like that; Ida’s decisions were never a discussion. If she decided she wanted to leave somewhere, we’d be gone. My decisions are my own now.”
