Page 42 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
“I was honest with you, and you gave me an honest answer in return. I’m not going to be a dick just because it wasn’t the answer I wanted. We should just move on, back to where we were.”
Which is easier said than done, as with the jigsaw made, they sat in stilted conversation for the next quarter of an hour, then made excuses and went to bed. Their separate beds. And Anna had lain awake for hours replaying it and wondering why, having made the right choice for both of them, she felt so grim about it.
* * *
“But you like him!” Katrine exclaims, exasperated. Anna hasn’t actually said this, but Katrine can easily read between Anna’s lines. Yes, she’s attracted to him, of course she is; she has eyes and is sentient. And those kisses will be etched in her psyche until she dies. No one could withstand those.
Anna sighs. “Yes, which I told him, but, once again, I am leaving. Which is why I said no. There’s no point.”
“I dunno,” says Katrine. “I’ve seen the photos. I’d move on that, if I were you.”
“I’m sure Rune would be delighted to hear you say that.” Katrine’s husband is the best of men.
“If I were you,” reiterates Katrine, unashamed. “If those kisses are anything like they look, you should fill your boots.” She looks dainty and prim, but Katrine’s filters are sometimes questionable. Anna wonders whether coming into the office, somewhere she really has no call to be, was a good idea, but then, like she’s just told Katrine, she and Jamie are now tiptoeing around each other and she felt the need to talk to someone.
“Unfortunately, they are even better on the receiving end,” says Anna, sounding glum.
“Then I don’t get it. You’re leaving. So what? Have at it. You both know the score. No one gets hurt.”
Here is where Anna disagrees. As she’d laid there on the floor, she saw she needed to,had to, put a cap on any feelings she had for him. She needs to keep the physical attraction she has towards him, and the physical clinches they’re having for show, in two very distant boxes. Because what she can see is this: Jamie’s had two important women in his life abandon him. His mother leaving him must feel like a rejection of sorts, and Lajla not wanting more with him must, too, even though he hides it well. He had thought it worth moving to her country for, to give it a go, after all. What Anna refuses to do is to allow what they have to become more, and risk that her leaving– her most definite leaving– could feel like another rejection. He’s a decent man. He doesn’t deserve to be messed about.
It not being her story to tell, Anna abbreviates it for Katrine to just his being hurt badly before and her not wanting to be the inevitable next.
“Benevolent,” commends Katrine, “but very boring.”
“You just want to live vicariously through me,” Anna chides. “Declining is the right thing to do.”
Katrine mouths “Boring” at her and eats more of her pastry. There’s a pause in the chatter as they scoff and Katrine watches Anna over the top of her coffee cup.
“How about a Once-and-Done? You know, get it out of your systems?” Katrine pitches.
“Behave, Trine. You’ve been reading your spicy romances again.” Anna refuses to let this idea even germinate in her head.
“Are you sure not hurting Jamie is your only reasoning in this?” Katrine asks lightly.
Anna’s brow pulls together. “What do you mean? Of course. What else would it be?”
Katrine’s expression is one of angelic innocence. “Nothing. Just wondered if it might be something more about you.”
“No,” Anna instantly says, confused. “I can’t see what that would be. I mean, maybe aside from not hurting someone who has done me a good turn, which I think is plenty, maybe I’m also being practical. Long-distance is a nightmare, I’m not moving back here and Jamie just got here and loves it. So really, no.” Anna feels quite adamant about this.
Katrine shrugs with an “OK,da.” Which doesn’t sound like she’s convinced, more that she’s sensing Anna getting het up. She then spots something on her messy desk, under the cake plate. “Here, small job for you,” she says, pulling out a printed email.
“A commission?”
“Yep. Day after tomorrow. Just a quick report, please.”
Anna scans it. Rundetårnet, a cylindrical church tower in the middle of the city, with an observatory at the top, is offering stargazing nights. “The sky’s set to be clear, so do me a quick write-up, yes? In by end of play the next day, please.” Cake break is over, Anna senses, and Katrine has clearly decided that they are agreeing to disagree on Anna’s choices about Jamie.
Rundetårnet is somewhere she always suggests tourists go for its views across the city. Stargazing there is new to her, though, and sounds rather… romantic. Eyeing the detail, and then Katrine’s vaguely smug face over the top of the page, Anna wonders whether it’s coincidence that the invite is for two people.
* * *
One of her favourite parts of Eckersbergsgade is the picnic bench in the middle, right outside her house. If it’s sunny, there’ll often be someone sitting out at it, and other neighbours will join them with a cup of coffee for a quick chat. Or if it’s a birthday, they might bring a cake and anyone could appear to congratulate them and share the cake. Currently, the table and seats are under a layer of snow, but as Anna enters the street, she sees that on one end sits a hunched figure she recognises. As she gets closer a smile spreads across her face.
“Hej, Anne-Grete,” she says. The tiny, ancient woman has cleared just enough space for herself on the end, and now sits, wrapped up, on a plastic bag, so she doesn’t get wet. In front of her is a huge cup of coffee and a plate of two cinnamongifflarplus a large gap that suggests it once held several more.
“Jaaa, jeg syntes nok det var dig,” says her old neighbour and Vivi’s best friend.I thought it was you.She holds out the plate and offers Anna a cinnamon roll, in exactly the same way she did when Anna was a child. Also like then, Anna does not need asking twice. Scoffing it, in spite of already having a belly full ofsmørstang, she feels extra guilty for not having knocked to say hello, but Anne-Grete doesn’t look too cross.
