Page 79 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
“You’ll never know now. And it’s beside the point, because again you’re trying to put this on me, Carl. This is on you. You could have ended it if you were so sad and neglected, and if you were a decent human being. If you needed more, or something different, you should have said and given me the chance to see if I could meet your needs– the ones I didn’t know I was missing.
“Clearly, truth is very difficult for the two of you,” she goes on. “Don’t gaslight me into thinking I was responsible for your shitty behaviour. A year of cheating will always make you an arsehole and if that makes you feel uncomfortable, then tough.”
Anna grabs the handle of her suitcase and looks him right in the face. “You know, you’ve given no indication of being sorry for what you did. Not a hint. So there’s nothing more to say. You need to sit with your own disgrace and shame, Carl, because it isn’t mine.” Shoving her AirPod back in her ear, hoping her fingers aren’t trembling too much, Anna walks away from him, hopefully for the last time.
Sailing down the final escalator, face red for having drawn attention to herself, a small part of her really wishes someone has filmed it, to upload onto the socials. She wouldn’t mindthatgoing viral.
ChapterThirty-Three
The adrenaline has plummeted by the time her train comes and she gets a seat, which is when the emotion of it all gets the better of her; seeing Maiken, shouting at Carl and above any of that, the last minutes with Jamie. Her words to him make her feel truly nauseous. Palming away the rolling tears, she stares out of the windscreen, not that there’s anything to see, just tunnel. She doesn’t even care whether she’ll see anyone else she knows, because she’s leaving. She’ll be gone, they can talk about her behind her back, and she won’t have to worry about it.
The train pulls in at Kongens Nytorv. With hitching breaths, she walks the connection between the two train lines and back down with the escalator to stand behind the glass screens on the platform, waiting for the next train towards the airport. Her head is dipped, as she hides her face, with the shame she feels.
“Anna!” She turns to see who’s called her name and spots Katrine standing with her two boys, clutching each by the hand. Briskly, she wipes her eyes, and draws a deep breath, to face her friend. Katrine reaches her to give her a hug, then spots her suitcase.
“Leaving?”
“Yeah,” Anna says, getting a grip on her voice and plastering on a bright face. “It’s time.” She shrugs, as if this is completely normal and her eyes aren’t red from tears. Katrine is far quicker on the uptake.
“Tough to say goodbye?”
“Definitely. But the right thing to do.” This is punctuated with an involuntary sniff. “Takfor sidst, by the way.” Thanks for last time, as the Danes say, although now she thinks about it, she owes Katrine a slap for the hangover she gifted her. “Where are you off to?”
“The boys are having a sleepover with Farmor in Amager,” says Katrine with delight.
“Lucky you and Rune.”
“Rune’s mother gave us babysitting tokens for Christmas, so we’re cashing one tonight for some extra sleep.” She looks blissed-out at the thought.
Anna looks at the two boys, one three, the other six. She’s met them before and they’re cute but extremely energetic.
The train arrives and the boys race for the front of the driverless carriage and its big window. Someone has placed a sticker with fake dials beneath the screen and the boys pretend they are driving as it pulls away through the tunnel. Katrine and Anna sit together and Anna’s suddenly comforted to have her friend with her.While she thought she’d be pleased to be leaving the city, something she’s been envisaging for so many days, now she’s doing it her stomach is leaden. But itisthe right thing to do. Sheknowsthat.
“Want to talk about it?” asks Katrine. Anna sighs deeply. In her head she’s thinking “not really”, but actually, maybe, it would help.
“I finally found a ticket, so I bought it. I need to get back to my old life. My new life, I mean.” Katrine tucks her arm through Anna’s and pulls her closer.
“And that’s making you sad?”
“Oh, you know. Sometimes goodbyes are hard,” Anna says, trying to make light of it. She had got hardened to them when she was younger, with all the times she and Ida would up sticks, but this feels different. And the times she’d say goodbye to her grandparents were also sad, but she knew she’d be coming back at some point. This, though… this she doesn’t recognise, and it leaves her aching inside. She’s worried she’s going to start weeping again.
“So, what’s happened since I saw you?” Katrine asks.
Anna gives a small laugh. “Should have known you’re just here for the gossip.”
Katrine laughs, too. “Busted. I have so little gossip in my own life, I need yours.” She’s watching her boys with a look of love and pride. She has a good family life, and she loves it, but Anna thinks she sometimes finds domesticity restrictive. Fair enough. Then Anna will give her a moment of salacious gossip.
“Well, I took your advice, and I went for it with Jamie.” Given how it ended, she cannot impart this nugget with the enthusiasm it really deserves.
“How was it?” Katrine asks, as if this is the most important piece of information ever.
“Incredible,” she says sadly. Anna’s not going to lie.
Spotting the glumness, Katrine looks at her, concerned. “I take it that’s why you’re unhappy?”
Her friend’s sympathetic tone is too much. She doesn’t deserve it. “Oh, Trine, I’ve just left him and I said the most horrible thing, truly vicious. I’m an awful person and he’ll hate me, but I can’t go back because my flight is leaving.”
Katrine strokes her hair while she weeps, before pulling out a tissue from her bag, handing it to her.
