Page 78 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
“Well done,” she says. Why can’t some men take a hint from women wearing their earphones? A neon sign with “do not speak to me” wouldn’t have any effect on those men either.
He stands resolute, between her and the escalator.
“Maiken says you saw her.”
“Not intentionally,” she snaps. “Have you followed me?” Is this why he’s here? Why and what for?
“Hardly,” he scoffs, making her feel silly. “I live near.”
“Then leave me alone. You could just walk by and ignore me.” She would have done him the same courtesy, had she seen him first.
“Youdidhave the locket,” he says, ignoring her and with a tone which Anna can only describe as accusatory.
She squares her shoulders. “Ifoundthe locket,” she says. “Maiken is all about the drama. I found it and I returned it. I did nothaveit.” She almost adds, “I didn’t steal it,” but isn’t sure she’s on as solid ground there.
He rolls his eyes at her. It astounds her.
“Why is this so important to you? It’s like you want some theft story to pin on me.” Her eyes narrow as she looks him in the face. Maiken just wanted her heirloom back, but Carl’s concern is more than a lover backing his partner. This is… “You want me to look as bad as you in this, don’t you?”
“There are two sides to this, Anna,” he immediately says. “Like I said last time, things weren’t good between us.”
Anna has replayed these words, both his and Maiken’s, many times already, and she still can’t see it. “Then why didn’t you say?”
“Come on,” he huffs, “I shouldn’t have to say. You should have been able to see I wasn’t happy if you loved me?—”
“Bullshit,” Anna cuts in, startling a passing couple. Normally this would have her adjusting her volume, fearing causing a scene, but not now. She doesn’t have the time. “I’m not a mind reader. Nobody is a mind reader. You need to communicate and tell people what’s going on in your head if you want them to understand and respond.”
Carl looks away, but Anna takes the opportunity to properly look at him and realises how much she misses it. Not him, God no, nothim, but loving someone. Being someone’s person, having a person, living the same love that Vivi and Mads had had, adoring each other. Anna misses that, so much it aches inside her. Yet Carl had shown her how fragile it was, and temporary, and she simply cannot see how she can go there again, when the potential for hurt is now so clear. The anger of what he has spoiled for her, surges up inside her.
“This is about you, Carl. You always want people to think you’re a good guy, but in this case you absolutely aren’t. This thing with Maiken wasn’t a fling, a one-off drunken mistake we could maybe have worked through. It was a long-term affair, calculated, orchestrated and deceitful. It wasn’t discreet.” Her volume seems to be rising with each sentence, but she doesn’t care. He wants to talk about it? Well here it is, and he should buckle up, because she’s on a deadline. “You were totally disrespectful in your lack of discretion. Your family thought we were a throuple!” A cluster of tourists turn at that one.
“Keep your voice down,” Carl says.
“Piss off. My voice is my own, and you wanted to talk.” Something about him wanting her to tone it down makes her stand taller.
“A year, Carl. If things weren’t good then you had all that time, and more before, to say. Instead, you’re here trying to gaslight me into thinking I was responsible and ignored all the signs you were unhappy, while you were fucking my best friend. In our bed!” More heads turn. It’s actually quite thrilling. Carl looks like he’s regretting his decision to follow her. Well, good. “And it’s all to make you feel better about what you did and to ease the discomfort you feel about it. Which is pathetic, by the way, given you could just have left at any time, been honest and not had any overlap. Howdoyou square that with your mother, by the way?”
“When would we have talked?” he asked, brushing off her accusation. “You were never around. All the travel got in the way.” Still more excuses.
“It’s my job!”
“But it was never a wrench for you to leave. I never felt it was hard for you when you went away.”
“Wow? Needy much?”
He winces.
“I didn’t feel a wrench because I knew I was coming home, and I trusted you’d be waiting for me; a grown-up, who makes his needs clear, secure and with a social life of his own to keep him busy. Clearly, I was wrong there, given Maiken turned out to be the entertainment you needed, to salve your needy soul.”
“It wasn’t like that. I meant more to her than I did toyou. That was quickly clear. I asked you so many times to marry me and you said no. Every time!”
“It was a running gag, Carl!” This one exasperates her. “We had always joked about it; you asked, I declined, we laughed. Not once did you stop and say, ‘I’m serious this time, I really mean it.’”
“You would still have said no,” he insists, which she takes as his confirmation of her point.
“But I was committed to you, Carl. If I thought you needed reassuring, if you’d been clear, I would have made sure you understood. I actually had plans in place to show you how committed I was, but you were busy screwing Maiken.”
“Like what?” he asks, surprise on his face.
