Page 34 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
“I can see why she caught your eye, Jamie. She’s gorgeous.” Anna doesn’t know why she feels the need to say this, although it’s true, Lajla had something almost regal about her, the way she held herself and just her put-togetherness. Anna can’t remember when she last felt she looked put together, her life seems far more like random things thrown at each other in the hope something will stick.
He nods his head from side to side, “Aye, she’ssomething.” He pauses, then makes a decision.
“I met her in Edinburgh; she was over for a week-long conference, and we hit it off. At least, I thought we did. We spent the entire time together,” he goes on after another sip of wine, “obviously hiding that there was anything going on. I guess the subterfuge was fun, but I think I got wrapped up in her attention. I mean, she was totally out of my league; she was a super-confident professional during the day and in the evenings, she simply took control and… I dunno, when I look back at it now, I was like a puppy. She took the lead, and I happily went along.”
Considering the aloofness Anna’s experienced, she cannot imagine Puppy-Jamie. But then, what she’s been through with Carl has totally changed her, too; she’s wiser now, more guarded and uninterested in another relationship. There’s no way she’d take that risk again or trust like that again. And she didn’t know there were leagues above the one Jamie’s in…
“After the conference she ghosted me. Which, if you haven’t experienced it before, is truly shite.” Anna thinks for a moment that he could be making a point about her blocking Carl, but decides not. He’s too lost in the memory of what was clearly a painful experience. “But coincidentally, I was headhunted off the back of the conference by a company in Copenhagen. I… I sort of took it as a sign. I was ready for a change, too, and so I accepted.”
He shifts his eyes back to Anna. “I see, with hindsight, it could look dodgy. Stalkerish,” he mutters the word, ashamed. “Idoget that, but I thought she and I clicked. So, when I’d settled in, I thought I’d see if it was worth a shot. Fortune favours the brave and all that. I waited outside her work, to surprise her.” The more he tells, the more Anna can see he’s cringing at his own actions. And rightly so. If Lajla had cut ties with him then he should have taken it as the No it was. But Anna gets why being ghosted screwed with his head.
“And I succeeded,” he goes on, after another sip of wine. “I properly surprised her. And she was really pissed off with me. Told me she didn’t want me, she didn’t want to speak to me or see me and I should leave. She said we were just a conference fling and that I’d read far too much into it. Which obviously I had, and I won’t make that mistake again.”
The expression on his face leaves no doubt of whether that had hurt.
“Why didn’t she want more? I mean, you’re a catch, Jamie. You’re smart, solvent, kind and… you know,” Anna waves a hand in the direction of his face and physique because it bears saying, “you. So, I don’t get it.”
His face reddens even more. If he didn’t look so pained, she would have been loving being able to do this to him.
“Oh, come on,” she says with a smile. “You know you’re fit. Don’t get bashful on me now.”
Jamie drinks from his glass and once he’s swallowed, the bob of his Adam’s apple slightly mesmerising Anna, he says, “It’s not that. It’s embarrassment. About the coming here. I just got things wrong. I misread things, which is completely on me. But like I said, I love it here and my job, so don’t want to leave, even though she’d prefer me to.”
“And you didn’t know she had a kid?” Anna asks. “Oh my God, is she married?” If that’s the case, then Anna has even more understanding of where he’s at.
It takes Jamie a moment to answer before he says, “I didn’t know. To be fair, I never asked. Anyways,” he says, sitting up straight from his gradual slouch, “I couldn’t leave the job I’d just started, or rather I didn’t want to, nor should I have to. I’d like to speak to her, have things out for my own peace of mind, but she won’t. So, I’m hoping meeting you might make her feel more open to the idea. See?Youmight not need closure with Carl, but I would prefer some with Lajla.”
At that he drains the rest of his glass.
“Let’s finish up here and head into town,” he says, drawing a line under the conversation. “Let’s see the lights. Maybe we’ll see some more of my friends-slash-probably-your-relatives.”
He’s clearly in need of distraction, and having just had his support in the cemetery, who is Anna to say no to that?
ChapterFifteen
“Your ears look cold,” he says, leaning against the shop window. This seems to have been deemed a foodie day, as having walked through the shopping streets, Jamie has steered them to Conditori La Glace, the generations-old cake shop. Behind the glass, there’s a range of decadent gateaux, Christmas cakes and cookies. There are a host ofnisserpositioned around the cakes, the little Christmas elves making the entire window look very festive. Not that passers-by can really appreciate it as the queue to get in is long and thick. Anna had suggested they go to A.C. Perch’s instead for the afternoon tea, but it seems Jamie’s heart is set on hot chocolate, which La Glace will serve him bottomlessly, and A.C. Perch’s won’t. To convince her, Jamie actually pouts, which makes Anna laugh, seeing the young boy in him.
Then he rubs the top of her one ear between his forefinger and thumb. “They’re freezing, Anna. Where’s your hat?”
“Yeah, I’m not wearing it anymore. At least not here.” She’d stuffed it in her pocket as they got further into the city.
“Why? You’re cold.”
“Why do you think? Everyone will know it’s us. In the pictures.”
“So what?”
She has to think about this, because it technically isn’t a problem; Carl knows she’s here. The damage is done. And it is helping Jamie’s cause, but that doesn’t mean she wants to become the poster girl for the city. The hurt is still there.
“If I wear the hat, then my life suddenly becomes Where’s Holger? You know how social media works.” He looks confused and she explains the reference.
“Oh! You meanWhere’s Wally?”
“Huh. OK.” She hasn’t seen the English version before. “But my point still stands.”
“Come on, give the world a little fun.”
“Nope.” She shakes her head, shifting forward as a group of four ahead of them are shown in. She can smell the coffee inside, tantalising on the cold air. The light is beginning to fade now. The day is short as they approachthe winter equinox, but the lights suspended across the street, boughs of fir, with a big red heart illuminated in the middle, now come into their own.
