Page 20 of A Copenhagen Snowmance
Jamie has a steaming cup in front of her face in less than a minute. She appreciates the skill.
“So, Jamie,” she asks. “Why no girlfriend? You said there isn’t a wife, and I can’t see any sign of a girlfriend. I’m not sensing you’re gay and I’m usually good at that. Am I right?” The alcohol is definitely in action.
“There was a long-term girlfriend from university, but it fizzled out. I was too focused on my work, apparently. Iwanted to get as far as I could,I wanted to give my dad some financial stability.”
“But not live near him?”
“I love my dad, but it was just him and me when I was young and it’s quite stifling. So, this works better for me. Iearn enough now to help him out but also, I think it’s better that we can live without giving as much thought to each other as we did. Does that make sense?”
Anna sees this as another version of her childhood and teen years. She likes that they have had similar-ish childhoods; one parent, no siblings.
“My mum saw me more as a mini-me and so encouraged me to be as free a spirit as she is. She had no time for any neediness and actively discouraged me being dependent on her, which frankly is mad for a child.”
Jamie can only nod but then adds, “My dad was very happy for me to be dependent on him. He wanted me to take over the farm. Still wants, I mean.”
“Mine wasn’t happy when I wanted to stay! But then I threw her own beliefs of self-determination and autonomy at her, and she couldn’t really argue with that.”
“I bet young Anna was quite smug about that win.”
Anna laughs. “You have no idea!” She thinks about those first years away from her mother, having somewhere permanent to call home, and how much she savoured the stability of her grandparents.
They naturally follow the pathways up through the park, almost drawn by the scents of Christmas, past more snow-covered stalls, and finally out through the arch, this year a big yellow illuminated star hanging above their heads. As they reach the street, Anna catches a flash of red hair, long and bushy. She feels her stomach drop. It’s Maiken, her hair unmistakable, and with her is Carl, taller than the usual Scandi tall. He has his arm wrapped around her shoulders as they walk and specifically, they’re walking towards Anna. She KNEW she was pushing her luck! Of course she was. The absolute last thing she wants on this earth is for them to see her. She doesn’t want them to know she’s in town. She certainly doesn’t want to talk to them or have any interaction, for that matter. She looks around to see where she can hide, or maybe a tourist group she can infiltrate and camouflage herself with. Her dignity is not a commodity she’s precious about right now. A quick look tells her they’re closing in on her very fast, and she turns to Jamie to yelp “help me”, but instead an idea grasps her boozy brain, and she runs with it.
Anna reaches her hands to the sides of his face, clasping his jaw and then, raising up on her toes, places her lips firmly on his, hiding her face in his.
Oh. My. God.
It takes her an extra second to recognise the reality of what she’s done, of what she’s currently doing, because so far Jamie hasn’t pushed her away in shock or disgust or offence. In fact, and she does give this proper consideration, his lips are responding to hers. And that is also an arm wrapping itself around her waist and pulling her into him, making her back curve and a foot raise from the ground. Their breaths are warm and spicy from the mulled wine, their rubbing noses are chilled from the cold, and all of it’s a heady mix in their tipsy states. It doesn’t take much for one of her hands to slide from his jaw around the back of his neck, as they pull each other tighter, combining themselves in each other’s many warm layers to become one faceless statue of kissing.
Someone passing bumps them, bringing Anna back to her more sensible senses, and she draws away, to look at the ground and regulate her breathing. Oh, crap. Things just got a whole load more complicated.
A quick look along the pavement shows her the back of Maiken’s head further along, so complications aside, her subterfuge worked. Yay for that, at least. Pressing her lips in on themselves, Anna looks up into Jamie’s face. He stands very still and his eyes are as wide as she feels her own to be.
“I… um… I…” she starts and steps away, just enough for his hand to slide off her hip to drop to his side.
She needs to sort this, immediately, but the face-to-face thing is too much. Instead, she pulls at his sleeve, towards home, employing the side-by-side talking technique. Eye contact right now would take her right back to that kiss, which she has to admit is still buzzing on her lips.
Neither of them speak until they’re a street away, the crowds now thinner. She’s been trying to sort out her apology, but it’s been loopy in hergløgg-head, so she’ll have to wing it.
“Jamie,” she says, eyes front and centre, hands clasped in front of her. “I’m so sorry about that. The kiss. That was…” What’s the word? Rude? Assaulty? Unforgivable? She can’t sort out what to call it. She leapt on him, didn’t wait for any sign of consent before she closed in on his face and it was wrong. But after he responded– sheknowshe did– it felt good. How do you describe that? She tries again. “I didn’t check with you that it was fine, or wanted, and I’m sorry. I don’t normally behave like that.” She could tell him her motive, the wanting to hide, but she doesn’t think that will make it better.
He says nothing, but she knows he’s mulling her words. The awkwardness she’s feeling is excruciating. If he’s worried about misreading women, then she’s just given him a shit-ton of mixed messages.
His silence is understandable but makes her go on. “Can we just forget it? Act like it didn’t happen? Let’s put it down to thegløgg. You have to admit there’s been plenty of that this evening. And also, the magic of Tivoli?” It wouldn’t be the first time she’s snogged a boy in Tivoli, far from it, to be honest, but she decides not to add that either. TMI. “I really don’t want this to be awkward between us. If I’m here for longer, then I don’t want things to be weird in the house and if I am gone again soon then I don’t want you to think badly of me. It was just a thing that happened.”
Anna crimps her lips shut. All of that came out in one swoop. She stops now to face him. Jamie keeps walking until he realises she’s stopped, upon which he walks back a couple of steps to look her in the face.
“It’s fine. All good. No worries.”
Anna releases an enormous breath she was very conscious of holding. “Really?”
“Really.” Then he nods her on towards home.
“Decent kiss though,” he says as he turns and moves off.
Just like the kiss itself, it leaves her rather speechless.
ChapterTen
