Page 20 of Not his Marchioness
Charlotte said nothing because the truth was, it had been her plan. She had no desire to marry him and had placed all her hope in Nathaniel. She would have married Lord Ravenscar only if she absolutely had to. And it hadn’t occurred to her what that must make him feel.
Still, did that excuse what he had done?
“I agree it was unkind of me to choose to leave you waiting for an answer. But you are a man; you can easily find a wife. I shall struggle to find a gentleman who will give me…”
“Everything I have offered? Freedom, wealth, a London townhouse of your own, a country seat? Everything you want?”
“Yes,” she mumbled.
“Do you really think the grand and wonderful Nathaniel will be able to make this all go away? You cannot be that naïve. All theseCanterbury tales are being told about you all the time, and about me—they have grown so large that there is no way they can be undone. We are both doomed. I am offering you something that no other man will. And I am still offering it now.”
“I have no choice but to accept now, do I?”
He shrugged. “You speak as if being married to me will be a prison.”
“It will be,” she said.
He scoffed, then his expression shifted. He had been calm thus far, quiet, almost reserved, but now he looked angry.
“And you think it will be paradise for me? I never wanted to get married. I never wanted any of this. I was never meant to be any of this. I was meant to be a second son, free to enjoy my life. Free to live how I pleased, where I pleased, with whom I pleased. But now I am shackled to a marquisate. I am responsible for people’s livelihoods.
“I must run an estate, and run it successfully. Otherwise, hundreds of lives will be affected. And to do that, I must do the one thing I never wanted to do—get married. I thought what I was offering you would benefit us both. Would give us both what we needed. Would give us a semblance of the life we each wanted. But I suppose if you do not want it, I will not force you.”
“You will not?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, but he heard her well enough.
“I do not want to be married to a woman who thinks herself a prisoner, who thinks me her warden. If you wish to be free, I will say whatever you want. I will lie to the papers—not that they’ll believe it. But I will do it. But tell me, do you really believe that with a scandal stacked on another scandal, you will have a chance to achieve what you want?”
She thought about it. It was bad enough that she had ruined her reputation in her quest to free herself from Lord Emery. That was a scandal of her own making, but now she had created another scandal.
One on top of the other? No, she would not escape either. Certainly not both. Not even Nathaniel could do that. He hadn’t even established himself as firmly as he wanted, and to undo this sort of scandal, he would need a magic wand to wipe the past few days from the memory of the ton.
He and Evelyn would take her in. They would look after her. They would protect her. But was it worth it?
Her father would continue trying to marry her off to somebody. But who would have her? She would be lucky if she found a baronet or a knight. More likely, she would find a merchant or a solicitor. But would they give her freedom?
She looked at Ravenscar. His nostrils were flared, and he stared into the grate, where a fire crackled.
She had also been wrong, hadn’t she? She was going to just leave him without an answer. Neither had committed to their union. She would’ve gone to Scotland and left him wondering.
That wouldn’t have been right. Of course, what he had done wasn’t right either.
She leaned back. “Freedom, you said?”
“That is what I said. You can live here in this house. I will even pay for it if you want. Or you can accompany me to the country estate. We shall have to coordinate, for we will be seen together on numerous occasions, but you can have whatever freedom you want within the bounds of our station.”
She nodded. “Very well.”
“Do you agree, then?” he asked.
“Yes. I will marry you.”
“Very good,” he said, but his voice was devoid of emotion.
She couldn’t tell if he was glad or upset or angry or if he felt anything at all.
“Can I trust that you will not run away again?”
“I did not run away.”
