Page 27 of When I Forgot Us
Nice? Not the word she’d have chosen, but she understood what he meant.
Warm sunshine beat down on them, highlighting the spaces where they clung together. The top of her head burned, and the brush of leather on the back of her neck gave her a flashing moment of absolute peace and love.
The depth of the emotion locked her in place. Love? No. Maybe she had an infatuation with Chase. He listened to her, and he was the first person she’d felt close to since waking up.
Kind of like when women fell in love with their kidnappers. What was that called? She racked her brain, the phrase sitting on the tip of her tongue.
“Would it make you feel better if I tell you to be patient, that it’ll all come back to you when you’re ready?” His chest vibrated under her cheek, and she realized she’d been leaning into him.
She pushed back from him, batting at his arms. “Ugh. Don’t even. That’s the worst one.” A light laugh brought a rush of happiness that threatened to bowl her over. This was what she’d needed. Chase offered her the kind of sarcasm that let her grieve without falling so far she lost herself. “I want to believe that I’ll get my memories back. I hope that I do, but I’m tired of living with the anticipation of waiting. I’ve grieved for the loss, and I think I’m ready to move on. If they come back, awesome, but I can’t keep shutting myself off from the world while I wait.”
“You’re a strong woman, Michelle. You can do anything you put your mind to.” He waited a heartbeat, a smirk glinting in his eyes. “Except one thing.”
“What’s that?” It hit her even as she asked. “Oh, you better not have been going to say the one thing I can’t do is get my memories back.”
“I wouldnever.” His grin said otherwise.
The hollow, aching feeling shrank as laughter filled it. “You’re a good man, Chase. I’m not sure what I’d be doing if your mom and my aunt hadn’t conspired to get me working here.”
“Probably helping Yvonne or walking around town eating ice cream until you’re sick.” He finished attaching the broken strands of wire to the posts. “From what I’ve seen, you’re not the type to stand around doing nothing.” He peered at her over hisshoulder. “Though you’re doing a good job of it now. I thought you were going to help me.”
“I’m not letting you guilt trip me. I don’t know a horseshoe from a hole in the ground. I’m not about to take the initiative on fence building when said fence could rip me to shreds.” She crossed her arms and scowled.
“Quick reference point. Both will make you fall when they’re on the ground. But you’ll only find one attached to the bottom of a horse’s hoof.” He bent to gather up their tools and strolled to the truck, whistling a merry tune.
A sable border collie sprinted across the field in their direction.
“I think your friend abandoned his post.” She pointed toward the blur of fur streaking in a flat-out run. She’d seen the dog twice but never close enough to pet him.
“Slow down, Hazel.” Chase moved to intercede the dog and dropped to a knee. Hazel slowed to a trot and jumped into Chase’s lap. She wiggled and twisted when he ruffled her ears. “What are you doing here, huh? Are the boys done with the cows?”
Seeing him in a moment of complete vulnerability caused a new kind of ache. He believed in her, even when she didn’t have the strength to believe in herself.
He’d offered the ranch and a job when he could have left her to fend for herself.
And he’d given her friendship when she had nothing to offer in return but brokenness.
It humbled her to be friends with him. He gave and gave with no hint of trying to gain favor. How could she return to her lifeless apartment in the city when she had all of this at her fingertips?
The thought of going back there put a foul taste in her mouth. If she’d loved it before, she no longer felt that way.
What if she stayed, fell in love with life here, and her memories returned to mess it all up? Her memories might bring back that love for the city.
Her challenge for Chase to try all the ice cream flavors came back with a newfound clarity. She enjoyed the thrill of trying new things.
Could that joy survive in a town like Blue River where ‘something new’ meant a new movie or popcorn flavor at the theater?
“Hazel, down.” Chase stood and held out his hand with the palm facing the ground. Hazel plopped down on his feet. “Not what I meant, but good enough.”
“Some cattle dog.” She hopped onto the truck’s tailgate. “She’s beautiful.”
“She loves working the cows and harassing the cowboys into feeding her scraps.” Chase jumped up to join her and patted the empty space. “Up, Hazel.”
Michelle concentrated her attention on the fence they’d fixed. “It’s weird seeing fences out here. Sometimes when I look out over the pastures, I wonder what it was like before barbed wire.”
“Land grabs and disputes over land and water.” He stroked Hazel without looking at the canine and she melted into a doggie puddle of joy. “I figure there was a raw kind of beauty to the open land, but was the chaos worth it?”
“Some chaos is worth all the trouble in the world.” She just had to find out whatherchaos needed and what it meant for her future.
