Page 55 of When I Forgot Us
Respect for Chase kept her quiet, but the lingering looks and softness in his eyes when he looked at her offered glimpses of hope.
“Honey, you are so deep in love with him it shines like a new penny.” Aunt Sarahtsked, but her smile cut in. She hugged Michelle to her side and marched them toward the church, a series of hellos ringing out from every side.
Michelle greeted those she’d remembered by name and weaved between the pastor and the door to drop into her favorite pew.
Chase sat to her right, several pews up. Her chosen spot gave her a clear view of his profile, though she tried not to stare at him. The whole point of church was supposed to be a communion with God. She didn’t dare break that with her ogling. She had plenty of observation time in the barn during the week.
The church filled, nearly all the townsfolk taking their usual seats minutes before the music began.
Aunt Sarah was one of the last to sit, dropping to the pew as the first strains of the piano filled the lofty building with sweetness.
Michelle closed her eyes and let it all wash through her. Peace unlike anything she’d ever expected to find soared up in cresting waves. For the first time in her life, she understood what the Bible meant when it asked her to trust God fully with her life. Her annoyance at the platitudes had vanished, and in its place, she held a firm belief that her life had purpose and meaning. Bad things happened. Often to good people. That did not make God a bad God.
She clasped her hands and bowed her head, her lips moving along with everyone else as Pastor Thomas called them to pray. He always took the stage with a kind of shyness that fell away the moment he opened the Bible. Pastor Thomas preached from the book of Proverbs, telling them a story of strife and woe that put her to shame.
It wasn’t a competition on who suffered the most. She realized that early on. God loved each of them equally.
By the time she raised her head from the closing prayer, she knew what she had to do. She’d honored Chase’s request for time. And she refused to push him into anything, but the love she felt for him wouldn’t stay on the sidelines anymore.
He deserved to know.
Church dismissed, and the initial rush of standing and clustering together in small groups for a quick chat hemmed her in. She chatted and shook hands, agreed with Mrs. Perry that the new fire chief definitely should introduce himself at the next council meeting, and accepted a piece of candy from Mr. Tillman. All these things had become part of her Sunday routine, and she loved every minute.
The sunshine that poured in through the church windows brightened every face and set her heart at ease.
Walking outside and catching sight of Chase standing in front of his truck with his hands deep in his pockets and his hat shielding his eyes stopped her heart in its tracks.
“You know what I find funny?”
His head lifted. “Nope. Still not falling for that one.”
She continued walking, making it all the way to his side and tipping her head back to lock eyes with him. “I think it’s funny that I’m still in love with you. With my memories. Without my memories. It’s always been you, Chase.”
His shoulders dropped like he’d released the weight of the world. “You know what I find infuriating?”
“What?” It came out breathless and rushed but understandable.
He skimmed his palms up and down her arms, ruffling the cotton dress in his calluses. “That you were right to leave. We might have figured out how to make it work, but not without hurting each other.”
She should feel like a complete jerk for pushing him when he’d asked for time, but somehow, she didn’t. It was like he’d been waiting for her to say it, waiting for the moment to let it all go and surrender.
He cupped her shoulders and dropped his head until the brim of his hat rested on her forehead. “We wanted different things, and I’m old enough now to realize that it probably would’ve driven us apart.”
“And neither of us had a strong enough relationship with God to help see us through.” She placed her hands on his forearms. The heat of his sun-drenched skin drove all the fear away. “It’s not like that anymore.”
“Maybe you two should go for a walk.” Maude’s shadow cut between them. A wide smile pinched her face. “I’ll take Sarah to the ranch. You can meet up with us later for dinner.”
Chase stared over Michelle’s head. “Yeah. Probably a good idea.” Laughter roughened his voice. “We’re starting to draw a crowd.”
“Eh.” She shrugged lightly to keep from dislodging his hands. “It’s not like they won’t all know by tomorrow.”
“Even if they don’t know, someone will make something up.” Aunt Sarah made her puckered lemon expression. “Small town life at its finest.”
“But I wouldn’t live anywhere else.” She’d been in both worlds. This one suited her just fine. Still. She took Chase’s hand, turned, and the two of them waved at the group clustered up beneath the church awning.
Pastor Thomas raised his hand up high and swept it side to side in a broad arc. His booming voice carried across the parking lot. “Don’t mind us.”
“Right.” Aunt Sarah’s scoff shot right back at him. She patted Michelle’s arm and dropped her voice. “You two have a good time.”
