Page 64 of Keep Me Still
Adrenaline shoots through my veins as I click the lamp back on. “What did you just say?”
“I said, thank God for Topir—oh God, oh shit.Layla.”
I can feel the blood draining from my face. The room threatens to spin. No, it threatens to combust into flames. While spinning. Turning me, Landen, and the perfect bubble of happiness we’ve been in to nothing. Vapor.
He sits up and reaches out for me, but it’s too late. I’m out of bed and standing in his gray t-shirt, barely feeling the sting as the tiny shards of glass Corin missed slice into the bottoms of my feet.
Dread washes over me, hard and cold. “How do you know what kind of medicine I’m taking?”
There’s only one way he can know. And if he knows about Topiramax, he probably knows about the latest test results. Which would explain exactly why he’d give up everything to be here. Since it’s temporary and all.
“I saw it on your nightstand,” he says.
I know he’s lying, but we both turn to the nightstand anyway. Corin’s giant alarm clock, the lamp, and the now thoroughly melted shake are all that sit there. “No you didn’t. Tell me how you know, Landen.”
“Babe,” he pleads but I don’t want to hear any more bullshit.
How many lies has he told me now? I’m shaking, but not the kind I’m used to. “Tell me the truth. All of it. Starting now.” The anger and pain vibrating my body are so intense it’s distracting. My mind struggles to grab a coherent thought as Landen sits up and pulls on his underwear. Followed by his jeans. He still doesn’t open his stupid mouth.
“Stop stalling.” My voice breaks on the last word because deep down I know I probably don’t want to hear what’s coming. What I really want is to forget this ever happened and go back to the heavenly bliss that was lying in his arms.
Safe. Still. Loved.
He moves to the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. He rakes both hands through his hair.
“Look at me,” I command, because I have the awful feeling that he’s trying to come up with yet another lie to tell me. If I were smart, I’d let him so we could go back. But it turns out that I’m actually very stupid.
His eyes meet mine as he raises his head. “When you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts, I started calling Kate.”
“Kate, as in, my Aunt Kate?” He doesn’t answer because it’s a pointless question.
“She’s the one who told me about you coming here. And about the new meds.”
I wring my hands and try to think back. How did I not know this? “So what you said about Cam and DW was a lie? You really knew where I was going because you were talking to my aunt?”
Behind my back, I silently add.
He nods and clears his throat. Wrapping my arms around myself, I lower myself onto Corin’s bed. “I asked you. I asked you point-blank what you were doing here.” My voice is low and raw but I make sure it doesn’t break.
“You did.”
“And you lied. Why?”
Landen rubs the back of his neck and tries to pin my eyes with his. I won’t even give him that. “Because I was afraid if you knew the truth, you’d send me away. I knew you’d be pissed that your aunt and I interfered with your fresh start. And I meant what I said Layla. I wanted a second fucking chance.”
“So you thought a good way to get a second chance was to lie?” My voice breaks despite my best efforts not to let it. “What else have you lied about?”
Danni? Loving me?
“Seriously, Layla? You’ve got to be shitting me. So what if I didn’t tell you how I knew you were here? So what if I kept up with you after I moved? Iloveyou. I loved you then, too. Do you understand what that means?”
I’m not sure how to answer him so I just pull my knees up to my chest. “No. Tell me,” I say sarcastically.
“It means that when I left Hope Springs, that wasn’t the end for me. There’s never been an end for us, as far as I’m concerned. Love changes. Yeah, sure. It twists and grows, and maybe for some people it evolves into something different. But for me, all I feel for you has only gotten stronger. More intense and overpowering. I love you, dammit. I never had a choice when it came to that. Did I do some stupid shit because I was afraid you might not love me back? Hell yeah. But I’m a fuck up like my dad says. So what did you expect?” He leans forward, closer. Waiting for my answer.
“I expected you to be honest with me,” I say softly. But a nagging voice in the back of my mind wonders if he’s right. I can only imagine how I would’ve acted toward him if I’d known my aunt sent him here to babysit me. Damn manipulative lawyers. The way his entire presence darkens tells me it was the wrong response. I was supposed to tell him that he isn’t a fuck up, that his dad was wrong.
But it’s too late.
