Page 48 of Keep Me Still
“I don’t want any other human being. I want you.” His eyes are full with heat and blazing into mine as he backs me up against the wall between the beds.
“Why?” I choke out over my stupid, shameful sobs. “Why in the world would you want me?”
He tilts his head, looking at me as if I’ve asked a ridiculous question as he takes a step closer. “Why in the worldwouldn’tI want you? Jesus, Layla. I’ve always wanted you, since that first day. Not a minute has passed since the first time I laid eyes on you that I haven’t wanted you. Needed you. I will always want you. Even if I screw this up so badly you stop wanting me back.” His name escapes my lips just as he covers my mouth with his.
The need in his kiss shatters me. Breaks me apart and puts me back together again all at once. Pulling him to me and pushing myself at him, I taste my tears on his lips. When his mouth leaves mine, I cry out, but his breath is warm on my neck as he opens my bathrobe. A spasm rocks my body into him and he groans, sending heat flooding through me. His flaming dark eyes take in my exposed body, and I drop the pajamas I was holding onto my bed. His fingertips skim the bare skin of my arms, raising chillbumps all over my body.
“I never should’ve left,” he whispers, dropping to his knees and throwing my world off its axis. “Why did you let me leave?”
“I thought—”When his lips sear the sensitive skin on my stomach, my head falls back against the wall. “Oh, God.”
“What? You thought what? Tell me,” he murmurs against my hipbone. My whole body is racked with a steady trembling that, under any other circumstances, would be terrifying. “I can’t think straight with you doing that,” I choke out, and he stills. I plow my fingers through his hair. The softness tickles between my fingers. “I didn’t mean for you to stop.”
Landen’s throaty laugh vibrates against my lower stomach and he trails hot wet kisses north until he’s standing upright. “Layla,” he says simply, as if I’m not melting into a puddle on the floor, weak with want.
“Landen,” I huff out, pulling my robe closed. “Never figured you for a tease.”
Arching an eyebrow, he grins wickedly at me, and I’m nervous he’s going to throw me on the bed right this second. But he just leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “I think we should let our roommates have this room, separate beds and all. You and I can continue you this later—once they’re asleep.”
Oh no. Dread and guilt hit the pit of my stomach simultaneously. Corin’s celibate. I didn’t even think about how Skylar staying here might be uncomfortable for her. “Good idea,” I tell him as I drop my robe, giving him one more glimpse of my naked body before changing quickly into my previously discarded jammies.
“Jesus, Layla. You’re really testing my self-control here.”
I smirk at him. “Aren’t athletes supposed to be all about control?” I throw my robe back over my clothes since Skylar’s out in the common room.
“I’ll show you control,” he mutters, taking a step toward me and yanking me to him using the string from my robe. He backs me up to the wall once more and plunges his tongue into my mouth until I’m panting for breath and clinging to him for more.
He pulls back, grinning when I moan in protest. Holding my hand, Landen slides the partition into the wall and pulls me into the other room where Corin and Skylar are sitting and talking in the same spots where we left them. My face warms instantly. The walls aren’t that thick and the partition is even thinner. They probably heard everything, or at least the highlights.
Corin’s eyes are lined with exhaustion but wide with concern. “You okay?” she asks.
I nod, even though I’m not.I’m dizzy and weak and my insides are on fire.
“Hey, um, so I have a buddy with a studio apartment nearby and he’s out of town. This has been a shitty night for all of us so Corin and me were thinking maybe we’d go crash there. It’ll give you guys some time to talk in private.”
The Skylar I’ve come to know typically would’ve given Landen a big obnoxious wink, but right now he seems to genuinely comprehend that something intense is going on. As much as I want to be alone with Landen, I know how much Corin’s celibacy means to her, and I don’t want her compromising that for me.
Landen is nodding but I put my hand on his chest. “No, it’s fine. We can sleep out here and Skylar can have my bed.”
“No offense,” Corin’s breaks in, “but as much as we enjoyed that little interlude, uh, we’re going.” She stands, grabbing her purse, and Skylar pulls himself up off the futon. “Besides, it’s too damn hot in here and Skylar’s friend has working AC.” She looks right at me when she sayshotand I know she’s not just referring to the temperature.
“Okay…but can I talk to you for a sec, um…in the hall?” I try to convey silently to her with my eyes that spending the night alone with a boy is not the best way to remain celibate.
“Layla, I know what you’re going to say. And it’s fine. I have it handled. Promise.” She hugs me and whispers, “But be careful. You know where the condoms are,” in my ear before she and Skylar turn to leave.
“Um, you becarefultoo,” I say, and then I’m alone with him. Alone in nothing more than an extended bedroom, with the boy who has the power to destroy me. Again.
Theuniverse is a bitch. A bitch who I must’ve screwed and forgot to call the next day. Because the exact moment that Layla let me pull open her robe, and I knew she was giving herself to me completely, was the exact moment I developed a conscience.
I couldn’t do that without telling her the truth. But once I tell her the truth, she’s going to be understandably pissed. And done with me. So much for balance.
After Skylar and Corin leave, we’re alone and things are careening downhill from hot to awkward at an alarming speed. It’s probably for the best, though my dick would definitely disagree. I lower myself onto the futon where she’s sitting, staring at the door.
“You okay? If you really want them to stay, I’ll call Skylar and tell him to get his ass back here.”
“No, I, um…” She pauses to clear her throat and I look around the room. It’s very Layla. Deep purple everywhere and throw pillows all over the place, much like her room back home. Well, her home. I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a home.
“I’m worried about Corin,” she says softly, staring down at her hands. I lean back and watch her fidget for a moment. Delicate fingers twisting in her lap, full bottom lip pulled tight between her teeth.
