Page 49 of The Naughty List
“You’ve never told me what this one means,” I say softly into the darkness.
Jonah’s muscles flex beneath me. “It’s a date.” His voice is gravelly from the need to rest.
“A birthday?”
He inhales sharply. “Yeah.”
I remain still against his chest. Worried that I’ve somehow upset him, I lift my head so I can see his face.
His brow is furrowed and his jaw is tense.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”
I’ve intruded into personal territory he didn’t invite me into when I should’ve just enjoyed the postcoital bliss and kept my mouth shut.
Jonah gives me a reassuring squeeze. “I’d just started fighting professionally. My girlfriend at the time, Sarah, didn’t like it. At all. We’d been off and on for a year or so when she found out she was pregnant.”
My blood burns in my veins. Jonah has a kid?
He breaths softly. “We were arguing about me taking bigger matches than what I was ready for. I’d already had a few concussions. She was worried.” His voice is hypnotic as his gaze drifts somewhere far from me. “She grew up on the streets like I did. I was all she had back then. So the thought of anything happening to me was scary for her.”
I have a huge family and the thought of anything happening to him is terrifying to me, but I don’t interrupt.
“I couldn’t see past the money. Past the opportunity to give us all a life I’d only dreamed of.”
His eyes meet mine and he returns to the present. “When I told her I was taking the match, whether she liked it or not, she left upset. I’d been drinking and couldn’t drive her anywhere. Not that she wanted me to, but still. It was raining pretty hard. She pulled out in front of a truck.”
I hear myself suck in a shocked breath.
“Oh, Jonah.” I wrap my arms tighter around him and shake my head against his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“She survived. But the baby didn’t.”
He sighs and rakes a hand through his messy hair.
The sadness of his story weighs down on us like a heavy blanket. My heart physically hurts for his loss. For Sarah’s too.
“Whatever happened to her?”
Jonah shrugs. “She moved on. Got married. I heard she has a couple of kids now. Works at a department store or something upstate. After we lost the baby, it was too hard for her to be around me without remembering and hurting.”
“And she’s never reached out to you? Ever?”
I can’t imagine walking away from him now. How difficult that must’ve been for her when she’d already lost so much.
“Once. I used to send her flowers on the anniversary of the accident. She reached out to ask me to please stop. So I did.”
I wince. “So the date is…”
“The date of the accident.” He clears his throat. “I got it tattooed on me as a reminder to embrace whatever life throws at me and not take a single second for granted. I learned a lot the day I lost a child I didn’t know I wanted until she was gone. I never want to forget.”
She.Pain tears into my chest like glass shards.
I can picture it, Jonah carrying his baby girl wrapped in a pink blanket.
“I’m sorry, Jonah. God, I’m so sorry.” My eyes fill with moisture. He uses the pad of his thumb to wipe several escaping tears from my cheek.
“Honestly, this is the only reason I never told you. You feel things deeper than anyone I know. Joy. Sadness. Pain. I didn’t want to upset you.”
